All Comments on 'Damn Ch. 03'

I wonder if its the same Richard that was with Kayla??? HAHAHA on Janet Dumb bitch. I would like to ind Dylans breededs too the bitch and bastard.

this is good. thank you for writing finally!!! :)

continue please...and don't make us wait tooooo long.

Enjoying very much

This is so poorly written that a map needs to be drawn just to follow along. In lieu of a map, I stopped reading since it would have been a wasted effort.

Great chapter. I wonder if Dylan will see his parents again, also I think his story could have a little more dramatic from the way he was freaking out about it but overall it went well with the story but Kayla's story totally needed more detail to make for the real dramatic impact that it could have been.

I like Becca I think her and Dylan would be so good together but for some drama...i love drama...that Janet girl should continue to pursue Dylan and try to break them apart. Kayla and Alec have enough to come between them with his mother.

Great story I can't wait for more. If you want more feedback you should try posting your story on (TST) The Sweetest Taboo... (http://s14.zetaboards.com/The_Sweetest_Taboo/index/)

Good Luck. :D

Lol its probably Richard. Whats the odds? Look I understand ur concept and I see where you heading with this but its not grabbing me. Im not really connecting with the characters. Too many loose ends all over the place. Keep it simple and light. No need to use a jargon of words to make a point. Thanx... Cat

Well thanks for being honest. But really constructive criticism helps a lot more than just plain criticism. So for the next commentors that want to tell me it's bad. Feel free to do so, just send me some feedback as in how to make it better. It may be something I will change, or not, you never know.

I, for one, like all the trails you leave. I don't mind working for the story. You characters are engaging, if a bit tentative at times. Many typos!

Is Richard the same guy that cut Kayla? If it is Becca is in real trouble dating that loser. I think that Kayla and Alex will make a great couple. I was stunned by Dylan's story about his parents were so abusive to him and for his mother to step over his body WTF? She needs to be thrown under the jail house and for the possible sperm donor to do what he did to a child even if the child is not his was wrong. He should have taken his anger out on his ho of a wife...their child was innoncent.

Thanks for a great read and update soon.

Some folks want to read something that plays in their minds EXACTLY like a movie or television show. Problem with that is, a writer can only take it so far. After that, it's on the reader's good imagination to do the rest. Granted, you could use a bit of editing, I think some folks are just a might too lazy to put forth much effort in reading.

Having said that, good start so far. Not really happy about the cliffhanger bit, but it's your story. I just hope the next chapter isn't too far off...

Like the way things are Moving along . Now for everyone to figure out that Becca's Richard is the same as Kayla's Richard . they can go about getting Rid of an Vengence on Him.

i MIGHT have bloodied my lip a little in anticipation. This is turning out to be quite the love 'triangle' or hexagon so Richard wasn't that who KayKay got scarred by? beccas Dating him, but has known Alec all their lives, who Likes KayKay but whom he thinks is dating Dylan but is really just ' brother & sister' like him & becca But then Dylan likes Becca while Janet likes him. why do I feel like Janet & Richard will hook up & try to screw shit up for everyone. although we all know that Alec & KayKay will end up together & Dylan & becca & if Richard & Janet don't end up together Richard will be gay & HATE Janet who probably will get her ass kicked, not forgetting ' bimbo' hmm well maybe they'll end up as a dyke couple ' bimbo' & Janet

Somebody needs a release soon...

Hope there will be lots more

LOVE how you detailed Dylan, Kayla's and Becca's story--plus I LOVE how Becca is mixed race and got Dylan's attention! Only thing is while you described her as an angel and beautiful, I either missed her description or it's missing. Dylan and Kayla's stories grip us with how poignant they are. Love how you used Becca (a detail I couldn't see coming) to draw Alec to Kayla. Love Becca's character, Kayla's fire...and the whole story so far! A wonderful tale and a 5! :)