by MissWolfy
Technical aspects of writing ARE important, but can be polished with practice. Having a good story to tell is not negotiable. You have a very interesting story here. I am one who notices grammar/spelling issues and nothing jumped out to disrupt the story. But then i am awfully fond of commas myself!
The characters are well defined. We know who to root for and who to throw rocks at. Damsels in distress, a wayward waif and a mystery watcher....yum.
While we readers are greedy and want long chapters, a short starter is a good way to gauge interest. The fate of your other story is a valid question. Sometimes the muse leaves or life just fire bombs you. When that happens just let readers know-dead or on hiatus.
liked your previous story but you have not finished it so I am scared to read this one thinking that you will leave us hanging again - please try and post about the other story then I'll know if I can take this serious
Now that I've read chapter 1 now I know how the girls were found by Bryson and his pack.
Luckily there's another chapter for me to read, so it's not bad at all.
Curious if there's a reason for the mythology names? Karena ( Korinna-Kore; Persephone as a maiden), Aeriel (Ariel; archangel), Asreyel (Azrael; archangel). If it is a theme, why doesn't Karena have an archangel name? Is she different to the others? Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Anyway, off to the next chapter!