by redwitch
That sucks, they should have just left especially with that psycho Brittany around
"The orgasmic hurricane crashed through her lower body, then spun uncontrolled straight up to engulf her brain." You actually used then rather than 'than' for once. Other than your liberal use of the word than and some pretty cliche events you do a nice job of showing the story as apposed to telling it.
If I made an grammar booboos don't nag me to death its 5:34 in the morning and I haven't slept all night.
its actually nice to find a proper romance on here! this story is so good & this last bit made me cry, staying up late to read the next chapters!
this was beautiful and sad. Unprotected sex is not good. i hope she doesnt get pregnant. shes 16!!!!!!!!!!rihgt
We all know this is a modern spin on romeo and juliet...but who the fuck cares!!! Its still awesome!! To be honest other stories can be the best form of inspiration...and trust me you were truly inspired!! Loved it!
It's nice to see Romeo and Juliet back. You know, all the love stories are re-runs of the same classic romance stories. And why are they like that? Because they work! I suppose, this one is especially sugar-coated, not in a bad way. It's your take on the classic story. Well, I figure that in this world, drenched in skepticism and pessimism, it's quite refreshing to have a story where you have lovers promising to love each other forever.
There has to be an end to the story, please please please come back and write it. PLEASE!
I absolutely loved it, please, please keep going with this story!
This story definitely needs another chapter. I agree with another commenter that Bianca needs to get pregnant, in order to let Diago be with her forever. But please do not go and pull any Romeo and Juliet crap on us and have the lovers kill themselves. That would be just a little to trite, and it is just too obvious.
Cant wait for the next installment - maybe you can use the 2 lovers to bring the families back together somehow. Thanks
Great chapter, but I am a lil misty eyed. I really hope they have a happy ending. I can't wait for the next installment :-)
I must admit that I got a little misty eyed at the end of the chapter. I'm hoping that they just say "to hell with our parents" and do what feels right. I wonder if Brittany will tell Diago's father what she saw.
I can't wait until the next chapter.
Please more, this is a great story, everyday i check back hoping for a new chapter.
I love how you've built up the characters. I really hope they meet again when they're older. It's great that your next chapter always comes along quickly, instead of having us wait for a month and killing us with the anticipation.
Hope to read more SOON!
I have never NEVER cried reading a story on here. I got teary eyed at the end. I hope this isnt the end of the story. I would really like to see them together, maybe she will get pregant.