Enslaving Chloe Ch. 12

It's quite a complex issue as I definitely want to be abused, but in a safe and caring way if you can understand such a seeming contradiction. This contradiction goes to the very core of my being. I am not really a brave person as by nature I'm quite timid and shy unless anger or fear makes me more assertive than I otherwise would be. On the other hand my strongest desires are very much about extreme submission and I deeply want to experience everything that flows from this... By which I mean that I want to feel totally enslaved to the point where I will allow myself to be whored against my own inclinations and made to do all kinds of things that I love and hate simultaneously as a demonstration of my abject submission.

I want to be made to feel that I can be sold to a stranger for perverted sex if my Owner wishes to do so... and that I will allow myself to be sold. I need to feel both pleased to serve my Master in this way and simultaneously shamed by the fact that the person I love and respect most in the world will whore me to a total stranger if the price is agreeable. I want to be torn by conflicting emotions as that is what excites me, but at the same time I would lack the commitment to put myself through even such a delicious torment. I'm such a perverse and contradictory little bitch that I need to be made to do what I most desire.

Such fantasies have always been in my head, and they have always triggered the most powerful emotions I have ever felt. When I still had the right to masturbate whenever I wished the fantasies that never failed to get me off were always the most extreme ones my imagination could invent. My favourites were always the fantasies where I was *forced* to do things that I both very much wanted to do and at the same time dreaded. I have always felt a strong desire to experience such things, while at the same time being reluctant to go there. Only being with Master has given me the courage and determination to do so, and I have often begged him to abuse or humiliate me in ways that he was concerned might be too difficult for me.

I have come to understand that sometimes what we most fear is the same as what we most desire. You may not be able to imagine having my specific desires, but I hope you can understand the elation I feel when I triumph over my fears and limitations. As the saying goes: What does not destroy you makes you stronger.

I know without a shadow of doubt that Master would never allow me to be destroyed. He cares for me very much. However, we are both fascinated by the psychological aspects of D/s and want to explore the many dark recesses and contradictions that deep submission can bring up. I know that Master believes I am perfectly suited for his experiments as by nature I ache to be totally degraded and humiliated, to be reduced...

Reduced to what? I don't know really. That's the point. You can't know until you are there.

And I want to go there.

Since obviously it's unknown territory it's both scary and exciting at the same time. It's exactly that combination of emotions that drives me to be who I am today and makes it possible for me to accept the life of slavery I now enjoy so much. The concept of pushing further into the unknown in this direction is something we have discussed for a long time. Recently I have begun to beg Master ever more intensely to allow me to go... *there*. To that unknown space where I am... What? An object? Less than human? An animal? Maybe all these things or none of them. This question is what our explorations will hopefully resolve.

I know Master will still look after me, no matter what. But maybe if he had less concern for me as his pet, slave and obedient girl he would be prepared to let me sink further down into the depths of my submissive nature? I know Master would miss having me as his slave if I were to become something of even lower status where I might not be able to interact with him in the same human ways as I do now. But that's what I want.

To reduce any negative impact on him and at the same time to increase the negative impact on me -- remember, this is what I want with all my heart and soul -- I suggested that he should take another slave and keep me as his... thing. That's where Chloe, who was still sleeping very soundly by my side, comes in. She is the one person I know who would perfectly understand what I want and also complement me in a way that would be in both Master's best interests and my own.

Master was initially very dismissive of this idea. "Don't want another slave," he said. Not being polyamorous Master is very sceptical about the dynamics of too many women in the household. "Male fantasy bullshit," is what he calls the idea that a Master might want to have more than one slave. Actually he's right. It could be a problem. It would depend very much on who was the new slave. That's why I'm here now with Chloe. Women (even slaves) can be very jealous. Even if I'm just a thing I'm sure I'd have feelings. Or would I? Could I overcome this? There are still so many questions in my mind.

Of course I realise that Chloe also has her own questions about the advisability of doing what I've asked of her. All the same I had begged and cried shamelessly for her to do so. But I know I'm asking a lot. Chloe understands me intimately, she loves me, and she would never really hurt me even though she likes to treat me as the dirty little bitch she knows I am underneath my still sometimes prissy and prim exterior. She loves to see me suffer and humiliate myself for her pleasure and Master loves exactly the same things, so maybe they would get along very well indeed... and I would be their plaything.

Just thinking about all this got me so hot I was tempted to masturbate. Even though I had collapsed with exhaustion after masturbating to multiple orgasms for my friend only a few hours ago I still wanted more. Chloe was quite right when she told me I was just a slut!

Although I had discussed all this back and forth with Master for some time he was not convinced until relatively recently. He said he didn't want to lose me and he would always keep me and protect me. But the idea of not actually losing me, but of gaining my friend Chloe, and still having me to torment and subjugate slowly wormed it's way into his beautiful but depraved mind, at my urging of course.

Master had met Chloe on many occasions. He liked her a lot as she was attractive, intelligent, and submissive but also challenging to dominate. Master likes challenges. She is also very kinky, more into pain than me, and best of all she has had plenty of experience treating me like the depraved little cunt I am. My friend had sometimes visited me at Master's house and they had talked together (often about me) over a bottle or two of fine red wine which they both greatly enjoyed. So they not only had come to know each other quite well but had much in common in the way of tastes and attitudes in general, and in a desire to dominate and humiliate me in particular.

I have spent many hours sitting naked at the feet of my beloved Master and my dear friend as they discussed me and the more intimate details of my body and mind as if I wasn't even there. That situation always made me very aroused and needing to be used and I would sometimes end up rubbing myself against Master's leg to let him know how I was feeling.

Of course he knew me so well I think he was intentionally revving me up to the point where he could tell me to straddle his leg and rub my wet cunt against his leather boot as he went on chatting to Chloe and sipping on his glass of wine. He enjoyed showing Chloe what a whore I was while he pretended to ignore my naked, thrusting body heaving away right in front of him until I began to moan and beg to be allowed to cum.

At that stage he would make me look at Chloe and ask if she would like me to orgasm for her. She would look at me and then at Master pretending to be shocked, asking, "Is she always such a slut in front of polite company?" Then they would indulge in a mock conversation discussing the difficulties of owning such a dirty little slavegirl and what to do about such disgusting behaviour. All the while I'd continue to rub my wet pussy against Master's boot and mew in protest at being effectively denied orgasm. This went on until I'd be increasingly desperate and begging to do anything at all to be allowed to cum. It always ended with my total humiliation and Master and Chloe making comments about how difficult it was to find a decent and respectable slave these days!

Of course I knew they were just teasing me. but it always got me so worked up to be put through a session like that. No whips of canes were required as all they needed to do was mess with my mind in ways they knew would affect me very strongly. For me it was both excruciating and highly arousing.

There was no question Chloe would fit in perfectly were she to decide to become Master's slave. Master knows and respects Chloe's kinky way of thinking from those times they've spent chatting together, as well from all he has heard about her from me. He has always thought my friend Chloe was a very special person and I was totally confident he would enjoy training her....

My thoughts were interrupted by Chloe beginning to stir. She stretched her arms and quickly became aware that I was next to her. She looked at me and I could tell that she was just starting to remember what we had discussed last night. She didn't say a word, but her look was one of love and I thought there was also a recognition that something had changed between us, but she couldn't quite think exactly what it was. Instead of pushing me down between her legs as she usually did in the mornings (if I was not already down there licking her cunt when she awoke) she gave me a kiss and stroked my hair with affection. She turned in the bed a little so she was facing me, and ran her hands down my body until she found my erect nipples. With that discovery she looked at me as if to say, "What has this slut been thinking about while I was asleep?"

Then while holding one of my pert little nipples between her fingers her other hand ran down my belly until she came to my pussy. As if to confirm her suspicions one of her fingers pushed into me. It slid in easily as I was extremely wet. She stared at me again with a quizzical look in her eyes, but still said nothing. Instead she pushed her finger in and out of my wet cunt a few times while she squeezed my nipple with her other hand. I just shuddered and felt like I was totally at her mercy.

Actually I was hoping she would finger fuck me to orgasm, but she withdrew her finger from my cunt and brought it up to my lips. I sucked my juices off her finger hungrily while she continued to torment my nipple. I was almost ready to scream, but Chloe took her finger from my mouth and said, "I haven't forgotten a word of what we talked about last night but I need some time to consider my feelings so you'll just have to be patient with me. Now go and make me some coffee, and keep your hands off that wet cunt, you filthy little whore."

I left her to her thoughts while I made the coffee she'd requested. I also made one for myself as although she hadn't mentioned that I knew she wanted me to have coffee with her. I was always able to interpret the way she spoke to me and put it into context. A lot of our verbal interaction would sound shockingly abusive to anyone else, but to me it was always loving and very much in tune with how I wanted to be treated by those who knew who and what I really was. I did not need to be reassured by Chloe that she loved me. I'd always felt her love very strongly, and since we'd been together over the last few days it seemed to have deepened and become even more intense.

I felt at peace, although I still didn't know if my friend would agree to what I had begged of her. Obviously Chloe would want to think things over before making such a far reaching decision, and I knew Master would insist she did so. Accordingly, I wanted to continue to be as supportive and patient as possible, even though I was already very excited as I felt there was now more than a possibility my dream might come true. I would just have to wait for the final outcome.

When I went back to Chloe with the coffee I didn't say anything about what had been on my mind. I was well aware that her thoughts were already focused on the enormous decision she had before her. It was best to let her process all the conflicting emotions that must be running through her head without any interference from me. Instead I sat on the floor and put the two cups of coffee on the part of the bed I had been sleeping in not long ago.

We sat silently and enjoyed our morning coffee together as the sunlight streamed in the window and bathed our naked bodies in a diffuse golden glow. It was quite dreamlike, and I didn't want to break the spell with senseless chatter. My dear friend was quite lost in her own thoughts, so we had a quiet time just enjoying our coffee and each other's company without speaking in the way that only two very close friends can do.

I wondered when Chloe would tell me what she'd decided.