Error Reduction

"You two are nuts," he said.

"I've never heard you talk like that," Joan said. "You aren't such a stuffed shirt after all. The whole department respects you, but everyone wonders why you always act like you've got something up your ass."

"Like my hand," Gloria said and laughed a nervous laugh.

"Gloria, if you ever say that out of this office, I'll kill you," Joan said.

But Gloria's remark broke the tension, and soon they were all laughing together. Edgar noticed the women were crying at the same time. This is my last laugh here, he thought, so I may as well enjoy it.

**********

He waited for the ax to fall, but he didn't hear from Ann, Janet or anyone else before the weekend. On Monday morning, he got a call from Ann.

"Edgar," she said, "your secretary says you work out in the company gym every Wednesday morning before you come to the office. Is that right?"

"Yes," he said.

"Well, go ahead and have a good workout this Wednesday, but as soon as you're done, report to my office for an early meeting. After the meeting, you can go back to the gym and shower and change. Understand?"

"Yes," he said.

He felt foolish reporting to Ann's secretary in his workout clothes. He tried to wipe away some of his sweat, but he knew didn't look or smell appetizing.

"Go right in," she said. "They're expecting you."

Ann was sitting at her desk, and Janet was sitting in front of her looking fresh and beautiful. She stared at him and sniffed when he sat down. She didn't look happy.

"I'm sorry for making you come here right from the gym, Edgar," Ann said. "But it was important to get this resolved right away, so all of us could move on. You've heard rumors about what's coming up for our company, and both of you are important parts of our plan.

"I found out about the error reduction initiative first from Joan and Gloria and then spoke to the other department heads in Janet's division. It was an interesting idea and extremely effective, but it had the potential for problems, as we've all found out. So today is the last day we'll be using that plan.

"In discussing this problem at the executive committee, I said that the policy of not differentiating between a loss of one penny or a thousand dollars was also looking shaggy to me, and they agreed.

"Starting tomorrow, small errors of any kind will be dealt with informally, and only major mistakes will get a formal reprimand and report. Therefore, despite the disaster of last week, I think our company will be stronger as it moves ahead.

"The last thing we need to take care of then is Janet's reprimand, which is why we're all here. I'm going to implement her system one more time -- for her. Janet and Edgar stand up and take off all your clothes while looking at each other. No, you're not going to have intercourse.

"Janet, you are awfully slow. There, finally. Okay, now Edgar get on your hands and knees on the couch and move all the way to this end. That's it. Now Janet, get on your hands and knees behind him. Yes, just like that. Now take one of his buttocks in each hand and pull them wide apart.

"Good. I hope it really hairy and sweaty in there. You know what to do now. I'm waiting, Janet.

"That's it. More enthusiasm please. Lick it hard, like an ice cream cone, and then stick your tongue in there really deep and push it in and out with your face. Until you forget your dignity and tongue his asshole with total abandon, we can't move on. That's better.

"I found out years ago that many of the humiliating things people do to each other are things they are the most afraid of doing, so when Gloria told me what Janet was planning, it helped pick Janet's humiliation. Keep going, Janet. It's all right to stop and gag every for a few seconds. If you need to throw up, just go into my washroom. We'll wait.

"I see you are handling it fine. Think about the profit sharing while you are eating Edgar's ass out.

"That's enough. Now you are going to change places, but he's not going to eat you, Janet. Instead, he'll massage your vagina. I had your secretary bring over the lube you were using.

"I don't think it will be hard to take his fist in your vagina because you've had two kids, but the ass might take more time, because Edgar's hands are much bigger than Gloria's. But we're in no hurry. I want to see each of his hands totally swallowed up in each of your holes. Then we'll be finished.

"The last thing you'll have to do may be the hardest for both of you. If you decide to stay with the company, you'll need to forgive each other. I've made it easier for Edgar since he's humiliating Janet like she did him.

"Edgar, as of today, you're promoted to the same level as Janet. Your title will stay the same for now until I'm allowed to give you a new one, but you'll get the same pay as Janet and you'll report to me.

"You two have been one of our best teams, and we'd like that to continue, so we're not separating you. I want the two of you to continue to meet and share ideas. If any of them sound crazy to either one of you, you'll run them by me from now on.

"If you can't stand looking at each other and one of you wants to quit, I'll understand, but I hope you both believe in the company's future as much as I do and want to stay for the ride."

**********

When he walked in the door smiling, Cynthia rushed up to him, embraced him and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"What happened?" she said. "This is the first time you've come home smiling in months. Did you get a promotion?"

He looked at her, and his smile disappeared. "Yes, honey, I got a promotion and a raise, and I'm very happy at work now," he said. "But I'm not happy at home. We need to talk after the children are in bed."

She was quiet all through dinner, and after they said good night to the children, she followed him to the living room, where he turned on the lights.

"No more sitting in the dark," he said.

"What did you mean before? Do you want a divorce?"

"It depends, Cynthia. There's a beautiful, special woman who's fifteen years younger than me who wants me."

"Have you slept with her?"

"No. Have you forgotten that even before we took our vows, I promised you I would never cheat."

"And I promised you the same thing, and I never have."

"I know that, Cynthia," he said. "It's not about that. I probably shouldn't have brought her into this. I guess I'm flattered that she wants me."

"Why wouldn't she?" she said. "You're a great catch."

"Is it because you and Janet have humbled me and destroyed my good opinion of myself? Now I'm the same as everyone else. No, I'm lower than everybody else. Is that what makes me desirable to you now?"

"You'll never be like everybody else," she said.

"Joan thinks I'm a stuffed shirt."

"Is that her name? Well, Joan is right, but I love you anyway. For a while now, I felt this day would come. After the second reprimand, I saw what it was doing to you, and I got scared. It made me realize how much I loved you despite your faults.

"No, that's not right. I realized that I loved you -- faults and all. I finally understood that the same things in your personality that exasperated me were also the things that made you a wonderful husband and father. I began to love the things I hated about you.

"But I'm weak. I admit it. You're far above me. I thought about what I could do to stop Janet, but it made me afraid that I would make a mistake and destroy everything -- your job and our family.

"I stuck my head in the sand and ignored what was happening to you. I used mindless sex to keep me from dreading the disaster that I saw coming. I hope someday you'll forgive me."

Either Edgar didn't hear what she said, or he ignored it. As he began talking, it sounded as though he was talking to himself more than to her.

"Loyalty," he said. "That's what hurt more than anything Janet did to me. When I found out you were working with her, it almost killed me."

He was looking down as he talked, and when he finished, he looked up to see her crying. After a while, she wiped away the tears with her hand and got on her knees in front of him.

"You have every right to divorce me. I don't deserve you. I don't give a damn anymore about how rigid and inflexible you are. Your life is an example for the children. It will be hard on them, but I'm not going to use them to stop you.

"You're not perfect, but you're a lot more perfect than I am. I was selfish and cruel and --"

She stopped talking, and the room was quiet except for the sound of her crying. Finally, she spoke softly.

"Do you think we still have a chance?"

For background on the stories of edrider73, see "Author Interview: edrider73" by Literoticauthor. Tag: "author interview."