by LaurenWestley
This story has gone the wrong way for me, all the other parts were great, but
this part isn't my cup of tea...Do hope it can be turned around, quickly...!
Hugs and Kisses Betty jo xoxo
This turn in the story did not seem to fit. It just did not feel right and I felt a shift from compassion and self-exploration to degradation and abuse. My consistent 5 stars dropped to three. I do hope this is a short term deviation, not a permanent shift.
I agree with the other comments. I believe you took a great story down a wrong path. It had so much going for it. If shock value is what you were going for, you got that. Just my opinion, but I think I would rewrite this chapter. In the end , though, it's your baby.
I began reading the Chronicles a long time ago and in fact, had several of the 1st edition paperbacks. At first, I was a bit disappointed about this being a 'fan-work' due to the quality writing of this piece, but then I realized that I could not recall transwomen even acknowledged in the Chronicals. So when the Gorean facet was introduced, I became intrigued. The stark turn with crusty Billy, while unexpected, is in spirit I think with the writings of Norman. By the way, the books I reread the most were: Captive of Gor; Slave Girl of Gor and Mauraders of Gor. I see there are now other books I need to read in the series now like Kijira of Gor perhas a couple of others. I can hardly wait to see to which association Eve will be assigned moons and collar or chains and claw? Please continue. I am anxious to see how gurls aree utilized in the Goren universe.
If you get to Chapter 7 (waiting for Literotica to publish. I had to resubmit it today. and I also submitted Chapter 8. You may be amazed where this is going. Eve escapes at the beginning of Chapter 7.