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In the most glaring example that Leslie was losing her hold on reality, she'd somehow reasoned that if Britney was going to stalk her nights, preventing her from sleep, then Leslie would stalk the teenage girl's days. Getting a niece to babysit her children while her Husband was at work or away on business, Leslie had taken to following Britney around town in her SUV. It took a few weeks and Leslie even surprised herself by how effiecent and stealth she'd become, but invariably one late Fall evening about a month after her initial discovery, Leslie got a little too close and things didn't end quite as peacefully as they had that day back in the Griffen's basement when she'd first caught Britney with her Husband.
To Be Continued...
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 16 years agoI sense hints of withdrawal symptoms from some of your critics,I wonder why.?
Anonymousover 16 years agoExtremly good erotica,believe me ignore the bashers,they havnt a clue.
fanzee1over 16 years agoOf course it isn't "realistic". It's not supposed to be. For a good erotic story, the connection to reality need only be sufficient enough to allow you to hold the setting in your mind. Beyond that, anything is fair game. Great stuff stardog, keep up the great erotic fiction. Let those who want erotic history look elsewhere.
fanzee1over 16 years agoOf course it isn't "realistic". It's not supposed to be. For a good erotic story, the connection to reality need only be sufficient enough to allow you to hold the setting in your mind. Beyond that, anything is fair game. Great stuff stardog, keep up the great erotic fiction. Let those who want erotic history look elsewhere.
Anonymousover 16 years agoI don't believe this story. Husband has sex with local teenage slut and wife just stand and watches, then resumes her loving? marriage. You can't be serious. Noone could be that dumb.
the Ct. Yankee
Anonymousover 16 years agoexcept, "BS" and I won't waste any time reading the 2nd chapter.
BOSTONFICTIONWRITERover 16 years agoInteresting first chapter. It held my interest and I liked how you built up the tension in the end again as you did in the beginning.
So, you've had no formal training? You can't teach someone how to write. Either they have it or they don't. You certainly have it.
You handle the bashers well. It is unfortunate that they shit all over your work.
Good job. I shall look forward to chapter 2.
Anonymousover 16 years agoto vindicate you. After reading this I assumed it was a first work, took the time to look and discovered you had actually written before. That was a major surprise. the story as written smacks of latent lesbian tendencies on the part of the wife and the drug user slut. I am afraid in my life I have never met a women that loved that much that would have let another woman just walk by her after finding that. Since I am a bit older than you and probably with a lot more expeience than you, I find that a contrived setup. We have a just past teenage age girl who is a slut and who is a known drug user fucking her husband and no mention is made of STDS or AIDS. Even with no other risk factors such as being a slut, the drug user itself is a severe AIDS risk. No test as discussed and she resumes sex without any testing which may take a year for a total negative result. Now you are painting a scene with a woman who is child centered, highly church centered, with no self esteem, no backbone, and is just plain stupid. Of course the husband in this is a male dog around a bitch in heat, and just thinks about scheming himself out of this. The teenage girl depicted here is way to mature in her actions to be an addicted teenage college dropout. But never you mind writer, you keep writing and they will keep cutting you down with constructive criticism. Oh yes you alluded to no positive criticism, it was menttioned before and is being again, get a good editor to proof read for grammar, contruction, and content.
roadbirdover 16 years agonothing right about this story at all ...if she didnt do something insti8nstive like stabbing one of them or setting fire to the house after she took the kids out and making it so her hubby and his bitch couldnt escape ...realistically she would have taken pics or something to end her farce of a marriage ...after all alimony and child support for 3 kids would probably break her ex hubby anyway ...id have m=took all i could get and the house also and make him continue house payments ...id have left him with enough money to be able to live confortably in a card boardbox after i was through with him..that is if i didnt biurn the house do9wn with them in it ...after all i had taken the kids and went shopping ...i have no idea what he did to burn the house down and i have no idea why hed be with a naked girl fucking ...i sure hope you can i dentify who she was as i plan on suing her estate for alienation of affection for committing adultery with my hubby...
Anonymousover 16 years agoWhy create and pound a writer contrived weak helpless woman unless your needs are on the sick side writer?<P>
This senseless contorted absurdity reveals more of you than what you intended little sick one. Do you smile as you drown puppies and burn kittens as well?<P>
As you disgust through your words, one wonders your purpose except to deliver pain to the jaded similar to yourself sicko's who need it to get excited.<P>
A sad waste of little talent and cruel intention. Why is that your mission writer?
