Good Girls Aren't Gay

Shit. She was eighteen and knew more of life than me. Damn. This hurt.

"Why the hell did I have to be born this way? It would've been easier if I had a cock or be dead."

"O, yippee for you. Let me get out a bucket of pity. Shit Jenine, that's just fucking stupid, and you know it. Wake up and smell the pussy. It's all around you."

I looked away from her and trembled. Trembled in anger, trembled because each word she spoke was true. Gathering myself, I asked,"What's next?"

"Well, I feel like putting you in the corner with no supper, but instead I'm still horny for your body and this woman next to me. You know the answer hon. I can't answer that question for you."

It was quiet for a few seconds.

"Now, you think about your next step," said Stacey. "I want some pussy. Kiss me you fool."

I hesitated, but eventually went in Stacey's arms. We didn't kiss. She held me tightly and let me sob. Soon, Laura joined the two of us, and we all cried together like three strange queers—one awakening, with two awakening the one. The one awoke.

About five minutes later, Stacey said, "Okay hon, enough of this sobbing bullshit. I want my Stacey now. Come here baby, be my slut. Jenine, your welcome to join in, but I want my gal,"

I laughed. It's funny how in the middle of an emotional moment you laugh. The world could be on fire or you lose your job, and people still laugh. "You're so horny it's not even funny," I said.

"Shit, Jenine, look at her. Wouldn't you be?"

"Yeah, I would be, and yeah, I get it. Thanks. I don't deserve what you've done."

"You deserve happiness, all queer do. It's not your fault. It's not a cruel trick of nature. We just are, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. So fuck 'em."

"Now, you wanna fuck or talk?"

"Go ahead, you did fuck me silly in more ways than one."

"Yeppers, Teach, we fucked yer pussy, ass, and brain. Now all we have left is that pretty mouth of yours. Gotta save something for next time, right?" asked Laura.

"Ah! Laura, you're such a slut," said Stacey.

"But I'm your slut, Bubblebutt."

"Yes, you are." Stacey turned to me, and said, "Now, Jenine, either leave us alone, or join us. Cuz, I have some pussy to eat."

I laughed again, and said, "I can't take anymore, you two have fun."

...and they did

The girls left me alone to recover and went after each other wildly. Stacey laid her head on a pillow and indicated for her girlfriend to position her pussy on top of her face. The muscular Laura moved slowly, taking time to kiss the smaller teenager's thighs and stomach before placing her middle across Stacey's eager lips. Laura laid flat against Stacey and the two enjoyed a mutual tasting of each other's plums. The muscular blonde started losing control as Stacey sucked her clit. As is if in a trance, Laura turned her body around to face away from Stacey's middle, and then rested her arms against the headboard. She straddled her girlfriend's mouth and slowly moved back and forth in an exotic dance of love.

Laura moaned in a dream—a dream of reality and unspoiled wealth. She fondled her breasts and increased her pacing across Stacey's face. The headboard pounded into the wall as Laura's movement quickened, and I silently prayed the room next door was vacant for the evening. Laura just didn't give a damn, too caught up in her impending orgasm to notice the noise.

Laura looked like a jockey riding a horse as she fucked her lover's face. She pinched her breasts with her fingers, kneading the flesh in loving need. Laura's movement slowed as Stacey pushed in her face deep into her. With eyebrows furled and mouth twisted in a half smile, Laura greedily accepted Stacey's sacrifice, and the lamb greedily supped her savior. Feeling the eruptions in her body, Laura screamed, saying nothing in particular, but the message was clear, as orgasm found a home in Laura's sweet body.

Some humans are blessed in the art of giving, others focus on getting. Laura knew both intimately; giving and receiving pleasure with untamed passion. Nearing the end of her rapture, beads of sweat streamed down her body in glowing pearls. She looked down and tensed, yelling, "Fuck." Then Laura lifted slightly; Stacey grabbed her thighs and forced her back down, causing the teenager to open her mouth and wail, "Too much."

She tried to wrestle her pussy away from Stacey, but Stacey held tight, not allowing the muscular beauty free from her vaginal assault. Laura's soon exploded in another onslaught of orgasms and looked lovely as she quaked. The girl was so free and sensitive with her release, demonstrating the pure joy of orgasmic rapture. This young woman owned pleasure; she consumed it, reveled in it, and loved in it. As her ecstasy subsided, she moved on top of her lover and soaked the smaller girl's body with her wet body. Laura looked down at her lover, and said, "That fucking sucked," in an exhausted voice half between anger and affection.

"Well, I was eating pussy, what did you expect?" Stacey responded. Then the two cuddled together, pecked each other's lips and exchanged little endearments. The two loved each other, so young, free, and confident. My eyes moistened, not because I was happy to see the two so in love, but because I needed a woman to love me as the two girls loved each other.

*******

Chapter 6

Two Queer Stories

Stacey looked over, noticed my expression and asked, "You Okay, Jenine?"

"Yes hon, just curious about some things. I'm jealous girls. Jealous of the way you love each other and your freedom. Can I ask you a question?"

"What about?" asked Stacey.

"When did you figure this all out, I mean being gay and everything? Give me the whole thing and don't leave out the tidbits." The girls looked at me, and then looked at each other in a silent conversation. It seemed I was the first to broach the topic with the two, and they were very eager to share their story. I assumed the unaccustomed role of student, and the two of them became my teacher.

Stacey, the loquacious little professor who was always happy to hear the sound of her voice, said, "I'm not trying to downplay the question, but there is some unhappiness within you that must be quashed or you're going to go bonkers. You really need to lose the hubby and find a woman. That appears to be at the crux of your misery. Obviously, if you can't admit what you are then you will never be happy. I'm sorry if I'm being bitchy, but don't you think you should?"

I paused, realizing that this teenager had hit the nail on the head, and then said, "You don't know my story, it's hard for me. I've been through a few things that have messed me up."

"It's not easy for any of us to be gay and face the ridicule. I've had it better than most, being raised by an understanding mother. But don't even think that we don't notice the ridicule of our classmates. The guys want to fuck us to show us what a real man can do, or either they want to see us getting it on. Most girls hate us and think they are going to catch our illness. Fuck 'em, we are not sick; we are queer. So I say, Fuck you world. Stick it up your ass if you don't like it. There is nothing I can do about it. Except love girls the way God meant me to love girls. Sometimes you must say Fuck off world."

It was silent for a few seconds

"Yes, you're right," I mumbled, "but not yet. I just can't do that yet."

"A month ago, did you think you would ever have sex with a girl?" I shook my head. "So, yes you can, at least you'll admit that. Honestly, we'll do anything to help you, as long as you try to help yourself."

"Would you tell me your stories? That may help me sort it out," I asked, trying to keep from crying.

"Well, I know the question isn't superfluous, least not for you, but you know it isn't going to solve the real issue."

"I know, damn it, but it's a starting point."

"No, the starting point is getting rid of the dick."

She paused and looked at me. I shrugged. "Okay," she said. "Not ready, but when you are, come get me and my girl. We will walk down Main Street with you in our gay pride t-shirts baby. Now, I'll tell you about me."

"All my little girlfriends were going all gaga over Julio Iglesias while my body hungered for Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. I fondly remember sitting in my Grandma's lap at a very young age, never wanting to leave her for some reason I didn't understand. It had something to do with her cheap perfume and the soothing little songs that she sang to me as she patted my back and ran her fingers through my hair." Stacey looked at me to make sure I was listening.

Satisfied, she started again, "Even under the scrutiny of Mom, my girl dolls always held hands and kissed. I think she noticed I was different, and fortunately, never played the guilt card or told me it was bad or wrong. I just figured that girls being together followed some kind of natural order after all; it was only just Mom, Grandma, and me. Of course, by the time I became a bit more mature, the ugly perception of the world forced a reality to my brain: be gay, act straight.

"Mom and I kind of grew up together, because she was only seventeen when I was born. Grandma was more like the mom for both of us. The asshole that supplied the sperm to produce me left when I was two. Mom never let that scar me and never spoke ill of the man, although she never dated again until I was in my teens.

"Going to night school while working all day at a daycare, she graduated, became a first grade teacher and my Joan of Ark. All I knew as a child was the female love of my mother and grandmother, not incest or anything, but women caring for each other in a maternal way.

"When my mom caught me in my little twin bed making out with a girl, her reaction probably helped me sort things out the most. I suppose my very loud moaning gave us away, but it was just difficult for me to keep my hands off any girl who would let me touch her. Strangely, Mom didn't storm in the room, call the police and put a stop to our little reindeer games. Mom closed the door and left the two of us alone, my friend never lifting her lips from my mouth.

"After my friend left the next morning, I was expecting a beating worse than Cain gave Abel. She surprised me by honestly explaining her experimentation with girls when she was my age. Hugging me, she said I was too young to have sex with boys or girls. She didn't want me to suffer some of the pain that she went through with my father. Sensing it was more than naïve experimenting with me, Mom told me something I will never forget as long as I live, I will always love you, even if you screw up.

"After that day, when I was still a young teen, I decided to become openly gay, which caused quite a stir at my school, with mom being a teacher and all. The acceptance issue followed me to high school, but I was a bit of a wallflower, no boobies or anything like that, so most didn't really even notice the gay girl. Then all hell broke loose my junior year when I found my first real girlfriend, and we walked through the halls at Franklin High School hand in hand, like all the male and female couples. The principal tried to stop us, but Mom came to school and shut the bastard down.

"She threatened a lawsuit based upon discrimination; fought all the way up to the school board, and their attorney advised them they would lose. I still can't believe how hard she fought for me, her being a teacher, but I did go to the prom with the girl, which was a first for the district. It made the national news.

"I was very lucky. Now my girl over here had it a bit different, but she should tell you about her experience." Stacey looked at Laura.

"And I'm supposed to follow you and try to be intelligent," she winked at Stacey, took her hand, and gave it a kiss. "Her mom is incredible, Jenine. She knows all about us. My daddy knows, but he can't accept it." She looked at me and I nodded.

Laura started again, "Like I was homecoming queen and everything, and I certainly don't have a brain like my girl over here, or liberal thinking parents.

"I definitely have always been a little slutty, even though my parents are so supposedly high and righteous and brought me up with the so called fear of God. I dated all the cool guys and even fucked a few of them, but it wasn't until I was eighteen and looking at my younger brother's Playboys, I had a feeling that I was at least bisexual, and maybe even lesbian. In the back of my mind I already probably knew, but looking at the bodies on those beautiful girls kind of gave me a revelation I never felt before. Masturbating, while looking at tits, was a lot more satisfying than fucking guys. But of course I was very scared. I mean God and everything, and my parents were so strict. Daddy was a deacon after all.

"Later that same month, I found myself spending the night with my Aunt Judie one weekend for some reason I don't remember, then I guess what happened can be clinically called incest. I'm not psycho about it or anything, it just kind of happened. Judie is the black sheep of the family and Mom never let me stay over at her place. They must have been desperate for a sitter, or this would have never happened.

"As we sat on her couch watching Animal House, she laughed and said, 'that chick is hot'. Then she looked at me realizing she made a slip. I didn't say anything, but silently agreed with her. Later on, she slipped her hand over mine, and I didn't pull away. We just held hands and everything, but I guess I invited her in, and her hand slipped down my leg under my skirt and stroked my pussy. Now that was exactly what this queer needed, I mean it felt better for some reason than fucking my own hand.

"The sweetie gave me the coolest little orgasm, my first girly sex. Well that just caused a dam to burst, and I ended up making out with my Aunt for almost two hours. We didn't do much more than kiss and masturbate, me being a little tentative and all. The experience let the genie out of the bottle, and you could say that I was different after that. I stopped dating boys altogether, and the homecoming queen became an official lipstick lesbian.

"My parents didn't take the change very well. They held out hope that their little girl was just going through a phase. I've still not told them that it is more than a passing fancy, 'cause I'm a full blown lez, Jenine. I'm so happy about being in love with my Stacey. She's right you know, about all the admitting it to yourself and everything. When she took me that first day in the dorm, my life changed for the better.

"It only took a day for us to move into the same dorm room with each other, somehow our straight roommates realized that maybe the exchange would be in their best interest. We've been together almost seven months now, and it's not like we just fuck each other all the time. I just like being with her, talking about stupid shit, like the color of the sky and Madonna's hot body even at her age.

"I'm very much in love and hope someday to marry this girl. I think she may say the same thing about me. After all, I'm the sexiest lez at this school," then she paused and looked at Stacey.

"I love you, and say yes to your proposal, but maybe we need to get the apartment first. After all, I don't imagine that your Daddy will foot the bill for his married lesbian daughter, and how are we to survive without his credit card and Taco Bell?" said Stacey.

"The only reason you want me is for my money," Laura said and chuckled.

"Shit, secrets out."

"You say the nicest things," said Laura, "now you're going to have to eat me again." She turned and looked at me, "You ready for some more?"

I didn't answer, instead, I kissed Laura.

Laura pulled away, and said, "I guess it's Teacher's turn again."

The three of us went at it for over two hours. Then I had to leave to get home to the hubby. The girls stayed in the room the entire night, appreciative because the dorm provided little privacy. We made plans for another session the next week. They were both so sweet and good to me, and I dreaded the drive home to Bernard. I drove recklessly, barely avoiding a pedestrian and running a red light. Somehow, my car found its way home without killing the driver or another person.

Pulling into the driveway, I sat unable to leave the Nissan as the radio blasted, Hell's Bells by AC/DC. Beating my hands against the wheel then squeezing my fists until my knuckles turned white, I cried so hard my head hurt. Slinky jumped on the hood, curious about why I was still in the car and expecting a treat. She stared at my eyes in haughty manner. I looked up at the furry orange cat and asked her, "Why is this so hard?" The cat just meowed and jumped off the hood, searching for a small mouse or bird to hunt. I felt like that hunted animal, only I was willing prey, desiring seduction by someone who loved me. Wiping my tears on my hands and checking the mirror, I left the confines of the car, entered my house, and tried to slip past Bernard.

He didn't look up again, absorbed in yet another novel, "Hi babe, had to work late tonight?"

"Yes dear, grades are due," and I silently cursed the pretense of my life. Standing before the liquor cabinet, thirsty for a drink, I slowly turned, going to the safety of my satin sheets.

"Sleepy," I whispered.

"All right," he said, never bothering to look up, "I'll be in later, want to finish this chapter."

I could have walked in that door naked with hickies covering my body, and he wouldn't have noticed. "No hurry, I'm going straight to sleep," I lied, knowing I would not rest.

*******

Chapter 7

Love Finds a Way

You know how every once in a while a miracle occurs? The next day at work, one happened. I stepped into my office, shocked to see roses on my desk. Figuring Bernard was up to something, I picked up the note. Much to my surprise, the handwriting wasn't Bernard's.

While sitting down, I opened the note, without knowing my world would soon change.

Jenine,

Don't hate me. I'm going to take a chance and tell you something I can't keep secret any longer. Put your coffee down, because you're going to spit it out.

I've lived my life with a big secret. Honey, I'm a queer. After many years with a good man, I left him. Since I've been single over the past three years, I've searched for love. I found it. The one I love is reading this letter. I see the way you look at me.

Surely, you've noticed the desire in me.

Here's the deal, you get in around 9:00 (yes, I stalk you). Your first class is at 11:00. I'm going to be at Starbucks at 9:30. If you don't show, I'll never bother you again.

Love,

Rachel

*******

Today

As I waited on the balcony for over an hour, the South Padre Island sun warmed my soul. I thought about Bernard and his new wife. Good for him, it didn't do him any good to be married to a queer. He certainly couldn't be blamed for what happened.

The coeds were happy, seems Laura's Father came to terms with her lesbianism. Sometimes love overcomes ignorance.

Hearing the door open, my pulse quickened. I smelled her scent as she walked through the room. A few seconds later, I felt my wife's lips on my neck. She pulled back, and asked, "You okay, baby?"

I turned around and looked in her eyes. We kissed. I pulled away, and said, "I am now, Rachel."

The end

*******

May your day and life be peaceful.