All Comments on 'I didn't Know You Were Married'

Nice premise but a great lack of construction and especially spelling. No doubt a product of a government school.

I think you're off to a good start. I enjoyed your story tremendously. I always enjoy this subject. Keep writing and thanks....

Punctuation.

You do need to work on your literary skills, but do not be detered and keep writing

Good story

Man...that was so lame......and you write like a 10 year old.

He "cam on her check"... huh? I mean, sure, I know what you meant, but how about writing like a literate adult?

You seem unfamiliar with the ways of punctuation as well, grasshopper.

Get an editor, dude, before you inflict any more of this stuff on us.

language ist funny.The real 'Old' English,not brittain or american english which are too whishy whashy and unless you have an Engineering "Doctorate" and an English "Doctorate" (and that is for the new english 'lits' just starting out in 'any bussiness';the engineering degrees to be able to protect your 'own interests and fruitful labor' and get credit where credit is due;ask any famous theoriticain or other such type of person;a 20-30 year time investment),it doent make fun of others writeings.So anyways;Id say for a ten year old that writeing sample is not that bad.Better than most adults and colledge grads of nowadays...Even if it only goes down '3 levels'...For on the fly and what not;it is not a bad story at all compared to most that can merely produce few clips and phrases with nonsensical bullcrap.Advantage server;15-luv...LOL!kinda like that.Gotta represent and keep it reel and remind all the aspriing great minds and artists (k)'now' not to be stupid or to let ignorance or 'self-assesments based on personal opinions and not the known facts';which might not glorify you or your all important self-crusade-life-goal like you want to.For example;Light and the speed of light:so many different theorys,so little proven facts.And every scientist in each different lab with a differeing theorys about the light after the 'known proven facts are established and interpreted' and then when the 2,940,643 known 'independent light researchers'(because to get funding they have to submit grants and pruposals with itemized detailed intentions and where the researchers and scientists facts came from and how they make sense with the 'known proven facts and qualitys about light') are all doing different experiments and studys when if the proven facts and qualitys are taken into account and the 1,738,954 absolutely stupid and preposterous experimentors just building lasers could help the rest of the more serious labs and groups even if just by building QUALITY lasers for them;I think at the moment CERN actually has 86.843% of its experiments envolveing light in 3 demensional space(or classic einstien physics);20% of that are actually serious and or at the very least interesting well thought out experiments,and even if for the intellectuals,that are almost fun just to browse over...To know that there still are sane legal minded people out there whose first thought is towards peace and happyness and not how to make the ultimate weapon or how to escape DEATH and SIN(syn?) TAXES.

A disappointment.....I was looking for you to make a half-white baby in her.

For all the complaining about your story, I could point to crapper writers on this site who only get good feedback because they have a group of fawning perverts following them around and their writing is no more glam than yours.

You had nice aspects in the story of almost getting the prize and the company moving her to her being a black gal with a real black husband who sucked in bed and she actually liked white guys without all that race issue creeping in.

It was just a story. It was free and you aren't posting 300 on here, so you get a 75 on work. You would probably be better at other kinds of writing though.

I’ll be the last person in the world to criticize small mistakes in grammar. I liked your story and it’s simplicity. It was well done and interested me. As one commenter mentioned you didn’t get hung up on the interracial situation it was just a small part of the story, and was so tastefully done. No big deal made about their races.

Keep writing and if you can find one let an editor help you if you desire it.

Thanks for the entertainment.

PT

I think that others are being too harsh. this is a great story, maybe it needed a little more editing before it was posted, but it was a great start. Keep writing i can't wait to see a new story by you.

At the time you were in school, you never dreamed you'd want to write something, so you slept through English class.... for 13 or 14 years! I like to believe that you and W are aberrations of the school systems of the fine State of Texas, and not typical or representative in any way. "cam on her check".. What the hell is that?