All Comments on 'I Made My Sister Ch. 03'

by Max121

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

pitty it is so short. very hot

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago

GOOD STORY. GOOD PREMIS. TOO SHORT.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
WTF?!?

how old is this kid? He's supposed to be 18 but you have written the conversation to make him seem like he's 8....which is it?

R M RoxingerR M Roxingerabout 15 years ago
Why the POV change?

The story starts out being told from a 1st-person POV (the son's) but about halfway through it changes to a 3rd-person POV. You might want to revise this so that it's consistently from the son's POV, as the previous 2 chapters were.

lisasmurflisasmurfabout 15 years ago
just like a young male virgin

2 stroke its over,

Anonymous
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