All Comments on 'It Didn't Mean Anything'

by Grey Eagle 286

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  • 176 Comments
z00timez00timeabout 17 years ago
Screwed up the details

If I can read the story once and see a flaw in the time line, you the author should easily see it too. I'm talking about you stating that the wife is 35 years old. Then later you wrote "She sat in the chair next o the bed and looked at the face of the man she had lived with and loved for twenty three years." That would mean that they hooked up when she was 12. TWO WRONGS!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Too Little Too Fast!

You had the makings of a great story but everything you had there was so compressed and not enough of other details were present. For example, the husband has a heart attack, leaves the hospital and comes home where he dies. Yet, Brenda drops his fling on him and promises to expose it if he does not meet with her immediately. Her first concern should be his medical condition. She could have held the papers until he recovered but no she had to have her talk.

Who was Jack since David knew him? How did David know about their affair since it had only happened once? She said that she was filled with remorse but her actions did not indicate a person filled with guilt. If David only found out that second time how can he have her served with divorce papers while he was having a triple bypass heart surgery?______________________________________________

The title says that it did not mean anything but the reality is the story did not mean anything because the reader had little to hold onto in terms of the characters.___________________________________________

SleeplessinMD

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Huh??? I'm totally lost

This story is a bunch of jumbled words. What the hell is the plot? Talk about hitting the fast forward button....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
I am

Huh?

I am so confused...wish you would have developed this story better, including erasing the obvious mistakes you made which were noticed by the readers.

I think the wife knew what buttons to push to make her husband stay with her. I think the wife's priorities were his health before even trying to repair or not the marriage.

Obviously both had been unfaithful and neither had a moral leg to stand on. BUT I need to add that fucking his brother's wife added despicable to the mix, limitting whatever sympathy I might have had felt for him. If his wife forgave him, why couldn't he at least try?

Ending the story this way was a complete cop-out! If it had been a book I would have thrown it against a wall!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
hmm

now that her husband is dead, she can go ahead and fuck Jack whenever and wherever she wants.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Complete agreement with the others

This was shit! Not only is the story incomprehensible, the writing is awful. What in the hell are the "ruminants of her marriage?" A ruminant is a cow, moron. On the other hand, she's a stupid cow... anyway, the whole thing was just horrible.

Orion623Orion623about 17 years ago
Could Have Been Better

If Brenda had been 45 instead of 35 then the story would have been more plausible. Presumably David would be around 45 also. This would have made it more possible for him to have had "a massive heart attack". But even with that I don't know how he could undergo a triple bypass chest opening and be out of the hospital 2 days later.*****I think the author rushed through the story to get to the twist at the end. But even in a very short story it is important to remember that the devil is in the details.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
A lot of potential

This story had a lot of potential but you blew it in the details. Editing problems tend to congregate near the beginning and the ending of a story. You need to give extra time to those sections when polishing up a story prior to publication.

I thought you had a good plotline in progress but you rushed it. Sorry.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
You

must be joking,walking around a couple of days after a triple by pass!He must be Superman.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Ditto The Other Comments

This "story" sucks. The "writer" isn't that well versed in the use of punctuation or grammar, he confuses one word for another (in more than one place) and he doesn't know how to form a proper paragraph. Much of this is composed of poorly connected, almost random sentences. The story line is familiar also. I've read virtually the same "story" a hundred times on this website except that a "writer" generally knows a little more about key elements in the "story." That a man was wandering around a couple days after triple bypass surgery is ludicrous. This “writer” needs a lot of study in how to write.

Alvaron53Alvaron53about 17 years ago
Correct: it didn't mean anything

Awkward prose with several misused words coupled with poor sentence construction is just bad writing. The characters aren't fresh nor lifelike. They're mannequins without substance.

<P>

The plot is rather incredible, and I'm forced to agree with the previous poster who pointed out the absurdity of the man leaving the hospital shortly after triple bypass surgery. My friend couldn't manage this feat after his bypass but then he wasn't a superhero.

<P>

The "you did it so I was entitled" plot is tired and unsatisfying besides being wrong-headed. I'm always amused when people say "it didn't mean anything, it was just sex." If it's meaningless, then why do it? The story isn't good fiction but I thank you for your effort.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
ok

and because of what she did was the revenge worth it ...now she doesnt even have pics for the memories ...maybe she should just commit suicide now herself ...because i can see a life of regret left in front of her ...yes i agree her life is over ...if she lives she will know she is the one who killed her husband and betrayed him ...she would have been better off forgetting about his one time affair as he had obviously suffered enough from it himself ...now its her turn to suffer with no way of being able to change the outcome

Harryin VAHarryin VAabout 17 years ago
IT DIDNT MEAN ANYTHING?

funny neither does this story

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Grim!

The monster waited 2 years to get her revenge! What a truly evil person she is.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
lame

lame

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
GOOD JOB

GOOD STORY, GOOD PLOT. I ENJOYED IT. GOOD READ, AND I DON'T GRADE A PERSONS WRITING STYLE. I EITHER LIKE IT OR NOT. GOOD JOB.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Hard to believe you wrote this yourself

I'm a fan of yours & find your stories interesting, orignal & well written. This was well below your usual standard, almost as if somebody else wrote it. Good enough plot, but too hurried & leaving too many gaps. And yes, it's just not possible to be walking around mere days after bypass surgery. Even apart from the heart & associated problems,the pain from the ribs they need to break to get in there makes it hard to even breathe, let alone walk around. It's also hard to believe that irrespective of their other problems, the wife wouldn't do her damndest to get him back into hospital PRONTO.

Having got that off my chest, I look forward to your next.

BazzzBazzzabout 17 years ago
Very confusing

The beginning of this story sunk it. How did the husband do all the damage to the property? Was she in the shower when it happened or did she just walk through the door of the house and discover everything? It seems like you felt bad that you hadn't written a story in a while and decided that you had to get one out and get it out in less than ten minutes.

peggytwittypeggytwittyabout 17 years ago
Very good entertainment

I have to say the age of the wife with the two kids not at home is a bit of a question of where they are and the time out of the hospital after bypass surgery is impossible. That said I liked your story and found it short and to the point. It leaves the reader with a lot to think about and that is a great story.<p>Thank you for the great entertainment and keep writing.<P>PT

Nightowl22Nightowl22about 17 years ago
Good story

A little pushing it with the leaving the hospital so soon.. It goes back to communication in a marriage.. Talking everything out might have prevented her affair and his demise.. Certainly is a really dark ending..

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Do I have this right?

She observed and photographed her husband a few years before in a one time sex session with a relative. She decided to keep the picture and watch her husband and nothing further happened and she saved the evidence. Now she is having an active affair hiding it from her husband, he comes in finds her having sex, gets mad destroys some things, and winds up in the hospital having heart surgery. In the mean time she gets divorce papers and threatens, no blackmails, her husband into coming home. He leaves the hospital before time, comes to her they talk, he goes to bed and dies. The only one punished here is the husband. He died knowing he was married to a lying, cheating, unfaithful, betraying slut. At least the husband had the morals and ethics to stop before it became an affair. Wife figured she had a free ticket and could carry on a full affair only she got caught. Let her live with fact she killed her husband and destroyed his trust in her and their marriage. Husband wasnt an angel but he walked the higher ground, she was just a slut.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
She deserves the outcome!

As most of the commentors indicated - she deserves to be left alone. In fact, we wonder if she planned this whole situation? Hey, she gets a bonus - he dies, she gets to spend the money and visit the stud in California.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Not Good

1. He would not even be off the IV's in two days let alone able to walk out of the hospital.

2. How many years had she kept the secret--remarkable to say the least!!!

3. This is the worst wrtting you have done. It is disjointed, poorly thought out and totally silly.

KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 17 years ago
Somewhat hurried but thought provoking

I felt that the story was concise fast paced and shocking (in a good way).

I would have stayed a bit longer though on each of the characters. As is, it almost feels like a quick sketch, rather than a portrayal of characters which come to life in the reading. <P>

Despite the head spinning speed, there were interesting themes. For example, the asymmetry between the planning of a scheme (based on the present knowledge) and the chaos effect of unforeseen circumstances. Another theme is the double jeopardy which lying puts us into. At first, it forces us to hold in a secret than to lie by not resolving the underlying issue(s) which brought it about. And the second jeopardy is when belatedly we act on the first lie by acting out, and using it (at least implicitly) as an excuse to lie again. The result: we reactivate the old unresolved problem (maybe its resolution would have prevented the appearance of the second?) while exacerbating the situation with the new lie. <P>

Recently I read that the image of death in connection with betrayal is not that uncommon. To a large degree it signifies the death of trust (if not love itself) in the relationship. In this light the ending, even if not meant to be allegoric felt to me as a realization of this type of death of the old relations which comes along with the death of trust.

KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 17 years ago
Common misconception on the narrator

Many comments to this story and to another story (“ALMOST?” by thecelt) have in common what I believe is the apparent unfamiliarity (or at least inability to recognize it in a story) with the third person limited (or combined) point of view as a narrative form. I would not have tried to point out this surprising fact, and expose myself to the potential shower of personal attacks (which could run the gamut from my personality and knowledge to my mental status and wished longevity…), had I not thought that at the least some could take my comments at face value – namely, an opportunity to become aware of a certain technique in writing and how it’s meant to be read. None of it is my invention of course; none of it (as a form of writing) is rare or new. What I write is not meant to be insulting or derogatory to anyone, either to those who find it new to them or to those who are familiar with it. It came as a reflection on the KIND of reasons which were given to disliking the story, which I feel are a result of a misunderstanding. <P>

My other reason for getting into this issue is my need to encourage authors to write, using this form of narrative if they choose to do so. My concern is that with many responses which do not do justice to stories which are written in this form, there will be a natural selection of sorts towards a narrower range of narrative forms. <P>

As I said, this form of narrative is neither rare nor new. For example, Jane Austin and Henry James have used it in the 19th century and it gradually has become more and more common. Rather than having the wife or the husband telling their stories in the first person, or having the story being told from the third person omniscient point of view; the third person limited pov, allows the narrator to tell the story mostly from the perspective of a character, but without identifying directly with the character. It is not too difficult to identify this mode as you realize that most of the information follows the level of knowledge, values interests etc of that character. And yet, being told from a third person, the narrator can create distance from the character in many ways. One way to create such distance is by the choice of language. It could be either very similar to the kind of language the character would use, or it could be purposely very different. Both could be used to create an ironic effect or to help identifying with the character. Another tool to create distance is the composition of the scenes. It can create contrasts which should lead the reader to the understanding that the perspective of the character is limited or wrong. It could also be revealed by direct assertions which the character could not have made. Indeed at that point the narrator temporarily abandons the limited position. For example it could convey the common norms like “many in her town would have disagreed with her actions”, or even by moving to the pov of another character. In all those cases the narrator distinguishes him/her self from the character they otherwise stay close to. It makes for an overall more subtle narration; it provides opportunities for irony and at the same time allows deeper psychological penetration to the psyche of characters (by allowing for explanation by the narrator which the character may not be aware of). <P>

One mistake one should never make is confusing that narrator with the implicit author of the story. Only when you take into account the overall strategies of the story, you can judge whether the implied author (or the norms of the story) are actually identical to those of any of the characters. In other words, you can never automatically assume that the Narrator = Author. In fact, in the case of the third person limited narrator, one could almost argue the opposite. If an author used the third person limited, you could almost be sure that it was used, at least in part, to allow for good presentation of the character, combined with good measure of distance from it. Otherwise, the author would have used the first person pov (with the wronged character) or more likely, the third person omniscient. <P>

Another issue of course is judging a story by its theme(s) which has some merit (like not enjoying them). But where I found myself again puzzled is when I realized that readers pour their (justified) moral outrage at the AUTHOR (totally unjustified) who had chosen to depict a character which behaves in a manner that is morally outrageous. But wait a minute, what if that was exactly the purpose of the author? Was not that a success? The only part that is missing in this type of narrative is that the author allows US to come to our own conclusion rather than having a particular character saying it FOR US or the NARRATOR him/her self doing the same. <P>

In the open market of literature authors have been exposing their readers to this mode for more than a century, isn’t it time we ‘allow’ the authors here to use a more sophisticated form of narrative by understanding how this type of narrative really works? Go to The wikopedia (although the value of point of view in literature there is too abbreviated IMO) or any modern book on literary devices or “how to read a story”/ a novel and search for this value. We could do justice to the authors and get more out of the stories.

bornagainbornagainabout 17 years ago
confussing

How was he able to tear up a painting and tear down photo albums after he had just having a triple by pass surgery he wouldnt have the strength to even hold an ax or a gun he died in a real hurry though.

I hope she got what she wanted and she rotts in hell she sure had the nerve to hold a sex fling he had with his sister in law that happened 4yrs ago thats not fair.

Pat

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Too Rush

This story has a good plot & a good ending. I like it! But you were rushing too fast to get to the end. What a pity.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
Nope

She sucked and he was a wimp. So she had some grainy photos from some years ago. Who f*ng cares.. She should have taken him down then and there. This way it became blackmail instead... And she got off all to easy.. A Wimp_Story... Yoron

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
merry widow

did she understate the # of times, where twice could not necessarily be consistent with her utter self indulgent joy? how do you forgive someone, then use it against them ? why not insist on hospital, given the gravity of the procedure ?

a cynic would say she'd have her regrets, but go on after the destruction of him...he - once and felt something like shame, her, the thrill of the whole thing was something she felt. crocidile tears ?

jackiedanielsjackiedanielsabout 15 years ago
Here's to Nope

THe reason she didn,t bring him down when it happened wasn,t to hold it over his head, as he didn,t know she had it, the reason was it was a pic, of him with his sister-In-law, and she didn,t want to ruin the whole family, unless it was to go on happening, the reason she kept the pic .was if he ever strayed again she could use it then,But it was her that strayed the next time,I would have liked to hear a little bit more about this Jack guy her lover ,he Appanetly was a good friend,or her husbands bro, or A brother-In -law,

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
WHAT

what a slut

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
great story

Pity folks don't recognize the originality in your story. I really enjoyed it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Again

ANother one just too far over the top...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
GREAT

Amazing how you write these stories with so many different endings. You go for one extreme to the other so well. LOVE them all. These people that say some of the stories are over the top, well they have no idea. Truth is REALLY stranger than fiction. THANK you for all your writing

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
no sorrow for her

no sorrow or pity for her, where she made her choices, to her detriment.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
words

she died a widow and provided for herself, cynical, perhaps.

her actions did ultimately contribute to his death, and sometimes it works out like that, for her.

norcal62norcal62about 14 years ago
Stories filled with anger and violence; no redemption, just despair.

Makes your stories depressing to read and who needs that at the end of a tale? I'm looking for uplifting reading.

zed0zed0almost 14 years ago
The Only Good Wimp. . .

. . . is a dead wimp.

OldHidekiOldHidekiover 13 years ago
good jhob of showing the "Fog of War"

Brenda didn't know what was happening, but she knew David had seen them, and all she could do is wait. Good ending.

jasonnhjasonnhover 13 years ago
Two cheaters, nobody wins

How could a woman having gone through an episode of cheating by her husband and by her own description, suffering heavily utter the words "It didn't mean anything."? Of course it meant something. It meant betrayal and disrespect whether David ever found out or not. Brenda KNOWS this. David cheated with his brother's wife. He betrayed his wife and brother. That makes him pond scum. However, even though the story is light on details it sounds like they did it during a party and were probably drunk because they were both embarrassed about it the next day. There were no further trysts and they even avoid each other. As soon as David was sober he realized he had screwed up. Drinking is not an excuse but it sounds like he regretted his action and never did it again. Brenda, knowing the pain of stepping outside the marriage, does so anyway. She does it quite soberly and enjoys it so much she does it again. The story opens with her enjoying the memory of her latest fucking. No regret or guilt. She wasn't going to do it again but only because her lover was leaving the area. If David had lived he should have had some deep concerns about Brenda. By her own admission she didn't know WHY she did it. That means it would likely happen again. Apparently her bond to her husband isn't strong enough to make her reconsider such action. She says she now regrets it because she hurt her husband so badly BUT she already knew from personal experience that he would be hurt. The situation hasn't changed. The factors leading to her cheating, whatever they were, are still in play. Luckily David died and doesn't have to worry about her remaining faithful anymore. <br><br>

Also, someone doesn't walk out of a hospital 3 days after bypass surgery. He wouldn't have the strength to walk out and my bet is that they would have medicated him to prevent him from leaving. If he miraculously had gotten out and if there was the slightest sign of trouble they would have pulled him back in immediately ESPECIALLY with something so stressful going on in his life. This is just too dumb to be believed.

willswanwillswanover 13 years ago
lol @ Zed....

That was funny!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
I loved the earlier comment!

The only good wimp is a dead wimp, I loved it!!!! R.T.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
I was thinking

That the ending should have included her putting the gun in hear mouth and pulling the trigger.

She deserved that much.

huedogghuedoggalmost 13 years ago
do you ever write a story where the man

isn't a wimp, you have got to be the biggest man hater out there. Oprah doesn't have anything on you.

RonRWoodRonRWoodalmost 13 years ago
I was okay

Not great but thought provoking as os many have said. It really is hard to totally love and respect someone that has cheated on you, so she isn't a total villain. Once again when the husband cheats its forgivable to a lot of you. But when the wife does...OMG! How could she? I rather thought the husband overreacted...wasn't he a prior cheater?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Too bad the slut did not use one of the guns on herself [sigh].

Once a cheater(s), always cheaters with revenge. These two idiots are as stupid as that fag "shoe-no-IQ" & his cronies.

DWornockDWornockalmost 13 years ago
23 years

1* rating for a worthless old hide story. No one fuck old hides.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
HE CHEATED FIRST SO SHE IS THE SLUT?????

I quess all you women haters out there should covert to islam so you can stone your women to death..

norcal62norcal62over 12 years ago
DWornock is a sick puppy.

No comments on the story, just his? hate of anyone older than he? is. Interesting.

My comment on the story is that it's a sappy piece of writing.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
A REASON

We all need a reason for life and living and if not bad things happen. TK U MLJ LV NV

Scorpio44Scorpio44over 12 years ago
Not a strong effort...

After I read the story I read all the comments. They made me feel better. The story had lots of problems. Some of the comments had even more problems. Keep writing. Please.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
LIFE IS A SERIOUS GAME

and there are no 30 second time-outs. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
great read. but how can she blame herself

He cheated first with his sister in law. and when he caught her he acted like a pig seeing he went off on her infidelity.instead of working and talking it out before going off half cocked. Now her blaming herself does not jive . they both commited infidelity. she is a victim as much as himself.. no winners her . he died because he left the hospital againt doctors orders so why is her life over, the living must go on living or she will destroy herself.

Danger09Danger09almost 12 years ago
Deserve each other

Two fucking cheaters... Story sucked

MrVdogMrVdogover 11 years ago
I like it...

willing yourself dead is almost as good as suicide!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
OK, if he'd cheated?

Getting past a wife's cheating IS hard. But, for her allow some guy into the home AND bed she shared with her husband isn't just cheating, it's deliberate- and a way to not just cheat, but to heap humiliation on her husband. The wife could have gone to a motel. She CHOSE to cheat in the marital bed. Then, she is soooooooo sorry- for getting caught. Not that she did cheat, just that she got caught.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333about 11 years ago
Loved it

Heart wrenching tale. Thanks. Excellent writing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
not good

but bad, what a waste of unreal.

1 minus

phil2213phil2213over 10 years ago
Please...this was outright mean

C'mon have some respect for your readers.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Mr.Vdog

You're right, people can will themselves to die...SAD!!!

LickideesplitLickideesplitover 10 years ago
Details are awry, but story is poignant

Several problems with the hospital portion. Biggest: She is next of kin. Hospital would have HAD to contact her regarding the surgery and recovery. Preferably before even starting the surgery, if feasible, but certainly about insurance and other details. His 'preferences' do not trump legal requirements! Likely that three days after by-pass, they would be concerned enough that they would ask her to assume power of attorney, have police find and return him as 'incompetent' until he was sufficiently healed.

She should be sufficiently alerted to his medical condition to contact the hospital regardless of his demurral! There IS a time to step up and be an adult. Before Hubby even came back, Sweetie should have alerted the attorney about the severity of his client's medical emergency!

She (they?) are not likely to be empty-nesters, given her age given early on!

Pulsifer42Pulsifer42almost 10 years ago
SORRY.....

Just didn't quite work for me........

AwakeningofSensesAwakeningofSensesalmost 10 years ago
I don't think so

So instead of confronting the husband with the cheating, she hold on to the pictures as a get out of jail card? Conniving cold bitch. Fuck her!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Uh oh...

She is 35 and they've been married for 23 years?

TavadelphinTavadelphinover 9 years ago
Death is sorta final -

She now knows she did indeed kill her husband - and may or may not live with the pain.

As has been said so often - what we do is not in a vacuum we affect others - she deserves what she gets - she languished in her cheating. Languish in the after glow NOW!

impo_58impo_58over 9 years ago
A very sad story...

A very sad story...The husband came home to die...she should have called 911...

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
she killed him

wow murdering your husband by being a slut. Sadly, its not hard to believe a woman could do it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
ouch

he committed suicide, when he left thee hospital they would have had him sign against medical advice forms and explained in detail what might or would happen. He couldnt have left ICU or CCU, where he would have been, otherwise.

She killed him. She knew what she was doing and didnt care if he found out, I mean in your own home sort of isnt hiding it.

All women are the same I guess, wish it wasnt so.

javmor79javmor79over 9 years ago

All of the people blaming her and ONLY her, did you forget that he FUCKED HIS SISTER IN LAW? How is that being conveniently overlooked? He was so full of righteous indignation over what she did, and he did the same thing. He wasn't even going to tell her about it. He was going to let her shoulder all of the blame.

She didn't kill him. He killed himself. HE left the ICU because he couldn't reap what he had sown. He planted seeds of infidelity and got a garden of infidelity. Then he wants to put the blame all on her?

AmbivalenceAmbivalenceabout 9 years ago
As she herself mentioned, she can't believe she'd chance putting him through what she went through.

I'm interesting in finding that timeline... he took guns (obvious intent) AND saw a lawyer AND had surgery with at least SOME recovery time necessary just to be able to WALK out of the hospital.

So the heart attack happened pretty much as soon as he left the house...? Did he manage to see a lawyer first...? Or the lawyer was SO good they managed to do all of the paperwork AFTER he got out of the hospital...? Ok, whatever...

And she seriously loves her husband...? But picks NOW to be completely honest with him and tell him the sex with ANOTHER man was the best she'd had in years...

And so WHAT that he didn't want you to dial 911... screw that - you love him that bad, you (THIS time) do something to HELP him (even if he didn't want it) not to hurt him...

All that being said though - SHE didn't kill him, he killed himself. He could have just left her (divorce papers? Obviously that WAS his intent), he didn't have to RISK his health too.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Javmor79

She said she knew how he felt and never wanted to put him through, then did not once but twice.

Of course she is to blame.

If she really thought that she wouldn't even get even, let alone doing it twice.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveabout 9 years ago
Damn

What the fuck? I guess this shows that revenge fucks do not work.

no rating

tazz317tazz317about 9 years ago
DID TWO WRONGS REALLY MAKE IT RIGHT

and a cold day in hell occurred. TK U MLJ LV NV

edwusaedwusaabout 9 years ago
My Favorite Line

"Later she sat staring into space. She walked in a trance, stopping to stare at the smashed ruminants of her marriage." Cool -- where did the cattle, goats, sheep, giraffes, yaks, deer, and antelope com from?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
so to change who the bad guy is

she's caught cheating but because it s a woman and your the biggest woman any if know. You turn him into a cheater to justify her being a whore.

Tootight1Tootight1almost 9 years ago
good story

she did kill him. oh, he did have a hand in his death, by not staying in the hospital, but the knife had been set. is there a difference between a one off mistake, and an affair? I think there is. everyone makes mistakes, it's correcting them, that makes the difference.

loveoverlustloveoverlustover 8 years ago
Adultery - It means everything. It means Death.

The death of marriages,families & the society as a whole,in the end.

As for the story, it was a Gem that needed a lot more polishing.There have been numerous comments(including ,of course, the usual 'double standards' on fidelity) that show the places that needed polishing.With a bit more patient editing this could have been a wonderful story.

I particularly liked the Tragic end. The burden of guilt/remorse would certainly weigh her down,sooner than later. IMO.

Ultimately,none wins, in a revenge.

A 5, for the seed & the message behind the story.

up11pendragonup11pendragonover 8 years ago
Continuity Is Important

She is thirty five years old, and has been with him for twenty-three years!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Okay with a few mistakes,especially the ending

A simple question. Why, if she loved him so much, wouldn't she call 911 immediately? She already knew the hospital was looking for him. The nurse told her how ill he was. So if she loved him so much, why not save his life first and argue about their marriage second? That one flaw ruined the story for me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
horrible (as expected from GE)

"It was some of the best sex I have had in years."

"It wasn't the best I have ever had;"

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 8 years ago
Second time through...

An interesting read.

enjayemenjayemover 8 years ago
Nice flash story

Minimum of characters, one location, late in, early out and a twist in the tail. Good writing.

Anonymous... she didn't ring 911 coz it's a story!

Tootight1Tootight1over 8 years ago
good story

flash or otherwise. she killed him, I think everyone agrees. she doesn't love him, I think everyone agrees. was more worried about her lover than hubby, most would agree. will she get everything now that he is dead, or will the paperwork prevent that, so she and her lover can live in lust on his grave? will the children ever know the truth, I think not. there's lots of room here to expand. nice job...

EddboyEddboyabout 8 years ago
lol

SHE didnt kill him he killed himself. The doctors told him not to leave the hospital and he did anyway and when she wanted to take him back he didnt want it. You cant force a grown man to do anything.... His hypocriticalness is what killed him not his wife

SampkyangSampkyangabout 8 years ago
LOL!

they both got what they deserved! too good!

tazz317tazz317about 8 years ago
ITS A SIN FOR ONE TO DIE

to get payback and revenge, no remorse, TK U MLJ LV NV

chytownchytownabout 8 years ago
Good Read***

Nice flash story that covered a lot. Thanks for sharing

laptopwriterlaptopwriterabout 8 years ago
I liked this and...

gave it 5 stars. It was very moving for such a short story.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveabout 8 years ago
Well

Two low-life cheaters. One down, one to go.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
ahhh

He seems to make a genuine mistake and didn't repeat it...but her she did it to hurt him and repeat and probably will always repeat...I wish he had shot the whore and her lover right there on their bed....

bonnietaylor2bonnietaylor2about 8 years ago
and we wish every fucking day that your exeife would have shot you anywhere

the bed, street, bathtub, as you took a dump, anywhere. 5 for effort and content and to help your score from you know who!!! In case you don't the asshole of LIT dear annony.

sugnasugnaabout 8 years ago
The Path To Hell

Funny how people think that they can break the rules and their lives will not be adversely altered! Moral laws, like natural laws have consequences when they are broken. The law of gravity cannot be broken without something falling and breaking and the law of love cannot be broken without a heart falling and breaking. This is a universal law and has been documented in writing for thousands of years. Today many people seem to think moral laws are obsolete, that somehow human beings have outgrown them. Yet everyday you can read an article about the results of a broken heart. Clearly we still have a use for moral laws, all of them! So, when someone tells you that you do not have to follow these laws, it is a sign that they are not acting in your best interest and they are NOT your friend. In this case, Brenda will have some time to consider the ashes of her marriage and her life. She can think about how much she care she showed her husband when she fucked Jack. She can think about how much she loved her children when she fucked Jack. Especially when her children as they make comments about wishing Dad was there to help them with a problem or to celebrate a success with him. Sure Dave fucked up too, one time and then he stopped. He is dead and will not have to live with it. She is alive and can live with the fact that she went back for more a second time.

dyonysosdyonysosabout 8 years ago
It didn't mean anything

The trouble with LW is that 95 % of authors are male,"It didn't mean anything" isn't exactly a sentece a woman would use after cheating,this is much more smth a cheating man would use,a woman would probably plead that she got seduced or smth like that,a cheating wife very rarely cheat without a motive like ambition,infatuation or something like that,a man however cheats mostly because of the sex and nothing much else

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

She actually killed him , now she can tell her kids and family how he died or she could rot the rest of her years knowing what she did. As a man the majority cannot handle see his wife totally getting fucked by another man and loving it . Mentally he's finished for a long time. In this case it killed him and it always means something

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
So Deserving

She got what she deserved. A life of regrets.

vastiesmith2vastiesmith2almost 8 years ago
5

For God sakes you asshole, stop your fucking yelling! You're a pain in the ass to everyone else on here.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
BEWARE the Facebook profile at dearbornmt@yah**

Unless you want to give up personal info to a potential phishing scam or become an unwitting part of some potential psych study or potential blackmail scheme.

Laurel and company don't seem to want to do anything about this but please don't put yourself at risk.

Practice Safe Internet Perversion!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Meaningless Sex?

Why do women, when they are caught cheating, insist on trotting out that overused line that sex with their lover was 'meaningless'? If it was meaningless, why do it? All meaningless sex can do is ruin marriages and end lives. Hell of a cost to pay for something that is by their own definition 'meaningless'. That means you have exchanged your marriage for meaningless sex. Ergo your marriage, to you, was meaningless. Anything meaningless should be removed from your marriage and your life.

Tw0Cr0wsTw0Cr0wsalmost 8 years ago
he was the one that started his own downfall

First he cheated on his wife with his own brother's wife.

Betraying his marriage and betraying his brother.

So any arguments that he occupied any moral high ground are false.

Then against his doctor he left the hospital before his treatment was done.

Given the serious heart problem that was pretty close to suicide.

Sad but there was no candidate for sainthood here.

Only two people that hurt each other too much.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

Now let me see if Icangetthis right. The guy cheats on his wife once a decade ago and felt so and both people do not talk about it.Then the wife gladly has sex twice and probably more if she had not been caught. DShe shows no sign of remorse after she has sex with her lover and sings after sex in their own bed. She then threatens her husband with pics. She should feel guilty for her husband's death, but she won't

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