All Comments on 'Jack the Magic Dragon 01'

You wrote in your bio that you loved to read. Tell me honestly, when was the last time you read anything? It's quite obvious that you didn't read what you've written here. Others will tell you to get an editor, but I won't, I'm telling you to take an English lit course (not just a class).

When was the last time you read anything published that even remotely looked like this? The typos are a given, but missing question marks and having two people talking in the same paragraph are huge mistakes. I'm not sure if you want to write to get published or if you're writing just to see yourself in print. "Jack got outta bed..." That's rough draft, getting ideas on paper writing, not putting it out for other people to see, writing. For the way you "write", your paragraphs are too long, and those asterisks look stupid. Pick a number (6 is good) and use that number of asterisks to seperate. I tried to be as nicew as I possibly could, here.

as someone who likes to read and write i have to say what you have written here looks and sounds like ideas. try to find a way to transition from one idea to the next instead of just breaking off, putting in ******* and starting a new paragraph. please try again.

I read the english lit criticism and, although true, I did not notice them until pointed out.

Don't let them stop you writting. (maybe get a friend to edit it) it's the story that counts. Keep it up.

This was not great, but a good start, please write more here.