Jimmy Palin You Asshole

"Dad, but what does he know about selling vehicles?"

"Christ Dion, it's been his business since day one when he began his first job."

"Oh I thought all he knew about it was sitting with his feet on his desk and chatting on the phone, probably to his mistress while his peons worked their guts out for him."

"That would be your father selling product to fleet operators sweetie. No one else here sells to fleet operators."

"Ohmigod, are you telling me he's more that a fat slob?"

"Does your mom Britt call him a fat slob?"

"Yes of course. How do you know my mom's name, she never comes within a mile of this dealership and in fact drives a Volkswagen."

Jimmy chewed his steak.

"What, what is it? Why have you stopped talking?"

"I want you settled before saying something to you – your mouth shut and your ears open."

"You're very rude."

Jimmy ate on silently.

"Okay, my mouth is shut and my ears are open."

Jimmy said, "Well just since we've been here you have transmitted two things about your mother that would get right up your father's nose. The first is that you both apparently call him a fat slob. That's bullshit. He carries less weight than many guys his age although he probably is increasing in size. Secondly Britt not coming near his business is rather insulting but not driving a Lexus would get him right up the nose."

"Oh god, I see it... we haven't been treating him lovingly and supportively, have we?"

"How would I really know? But I'd have a damn good guess and say no."

"And driving a VW is the supreme insult."

"No, of course not."

"What?"

"Terry would accept your mom is entitled to buy the car of her choice. The insult comes in not buying it through his business. The supreme insult is Britt not dragging his ass into his business to say hi to folk, to look around with interest, feigned if necessary, and tell him what a good boy he is."

Dion whispered, "Oh god, what a fucking mess."

Terry continued to rip the situation apart, unafraid to indict Dion. "You all the way through have taken you mom's side; I'm prepared to bet on that."

Dion whispered, "Yes, oh god, yes."

"Well do something about it."

Dion, eyes filling, said, "Like what?"

"Begin by changing your relationship with your father but don't rush it like a bull at a gate. I suggest you start by said, "Daddy, I only sold one auto this week. Is there any chance you could teach me the skills I thought I possessed but now accept I lack?"

Dion said doubtfully, "He'd see through that transparently feeble attempt."

"Oh do you think so? I think he would be pleased because he would already be thinking he might have to fire you unless you became more productive."

"Fire me?"

"Well perhaps he'd place you in the office where your future lies but he probably would have preferred you proving yourself on the forecourt first."

"H-how do you know that was the deal?"

"Christ Dion, don't you know anything? Any astute businessman would make that demand, even to his children, especially to his children with aspirations for management positions in the company."

Dion pushed her plate away. "I feel sick."

Jimmy grinned and said, "Remorse will take you through it Dion, providing the drive you need. I know it's not going to be easy but I willing to bet it will end well."

"And for my mother?"

"Who knows? I know nothing about Britt."

Outside the restaurant Dion kissed Jimmy. That surprised him. He'd decided not to touch her until she was moved in on him. He decided this was a kiss in appreciation.

"Why are you not groping me? Do you find something wrong with me?"

Bewildered he thrust an arm down and cupped her vulva.

"God Jimmy, not down there... not when we are on the street. I meant you to cup my breasts."

Jimmy broke away thinking couldn't a guy ever do anything right for a woman?

On the drive home Dion said, "I'm almost two years older that you Jimmy."

"I know."

There was an awkward silence.

He knew she was waiting for a proper response from him. "We appear to be getting along okay. The truth is I didn't think you'd be interested in me."

Dion sucked in breath. "The truth from me is I can't believe how interested I am in you Jimmy."

"You'll get over it."

"Yes perhaps I will. Veronica says she can't get enough of you."

There was an awkward silence again.

She said, "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's okay. Veronica and you are close friends."

"I find it difficult to believe you appear so mature and yet you are little more than a kid, not turning twenty-three for another couple of months."

"So Veronica told you that."

"Yes."

"And Veronica tells you what she likes about me."

"Yes."

"And you will tell Veronica all about tonight?"

"Yes but not about our discussion about me and my family."

"Good girl. You're showing both discretion and maturity."

She giggled and reached across and squeezed his breast, something no one had ever done to Jimmy. The SUV lurched.

Giggling, Dion made a call.

Jimmy thought she would be calling Veronica to say she was halfway to first base with Jimmy.

"Hi mom, I'm having a lovely time. Can I invite Jimmy over for a meal this weekend? Dad knows him. Just a minute, I'll ask."

"Want to have lunch with my family Sunday at 1:00?"

"Sure, please tell your mom I'd be delighted."

"You heard that mom? Fine, he's delivering me home now. Good night."

"Britt didn't invite me to stay?"

"No she's not that kind of mother but she would accept it if I invited you to stay."

"Well I would have declined with thanks in both instances. I want to fuck you Dion but have decided we should proceed slowly. Want to know something?"

"Yes."

"You think I'm really clued up about people don't you?"

"Yes, very much so."

"That's because I listened very intently when people attempted to tell me things about interpersonal relationships. I also took two online courses on the subject and received a diploma in salesmanship when I was seventeen. I became passionately interested in the subject when finding I could manipulate people through such knowledge."

"That is so dangerous; it's so one-sided and no one likes being manipulated."

"But the skill is to do it without them being aware of it."

Jimmy then told Dion the story about selling a V8 turbo car to a little old lady and she fell about laughing when he described selling a really hot pickup to a female school principal.

"You are awful and quite irresponsible Jimmy, a real asshole," she gurgled.

They stopped in the driveway under trees leading to her father's mansion and it was indeed a mansion, a rather immodest one with three flagpoles and it was floodlit. That was tatty but he was a motor vehicle dealer.

* * *

Dion waited expectedly to be kissed and tongued and a hand jammed roughly under her bra. But that didn't happen. He just laid back his seat she heard the noise of his zip.

She froze.

He said, "Go chew on this baby."

Dion though of murder, probably using an axe. What an asshole, expecting her to go straight down on her without working her up first. But then she thought of it being jammed up Veronica... Veronica had high standards so it must be a wholesome looking dick. And she thought about how helpful Dion was being to her, He was proving to be, quite inspiring. So she sighed, undid her bra and leaned over to gobble him.

Ohmigod, what a mouthful. It was a wonder Veronica hadn't locked herself in his bedroom and flushed the key down the toilet. Her tongue explored every inch of it and that included washing his balls. He was as hairless as she was. What a creep – he was out to impress by his dick and to ram any female within reach. Dion smiled as she took it to the back of her throat, thinking of the time she'd watched an ass-fucking DVD with her mother. Until then her mom never knew it had become fashionable for men to also shave but all four guys on the DVD were bald. Perhaps her mom should try Dion if he could bear to be touched by a woman approaching fifty.

Jimmy was squeezing a tit really roughly and now he was pushing down on the back of her head, wanting her to really deep throat him. She got the angles right but couldn't go all the way down so decided not to try. Apparently it was enough to please him.

Dion pulled off him and warned, "I don't want cum in my mouth. Okay?"

"Yeah that's fine. You decide. Can you get back on to job – I'm in heaven."

She smiled and added variety this time by rolling his balls. She wouldn't allow him to fuck her, not tonight; perhaps not for a month. He had to learn she wasn't a slut and not to expect her to drop her panties any old time he wanted it. Her own build up was running high and she knew just a couple of rubs of the nub and she'd get off as well.

Dion felt him swell in her mouth and his purring had become groans. She reached down, delayed by the wrong angles to slide a hand smoothly to her pussy when suddenly he was pumping cum down her throat and she was swallowing. Then she blew the instant she touched herself and her vision blurred into black and red and yellow stars were exploding.

Breathing heavily she pulled herself upright, aware semen was dripping out of her mouth and she screamed, "You bastard, you bastard – I expected you to warn me."

"I did, I could feel my dick swelling into your mouth. It's your fault; you should have pulled away. Why is your pussy smelling so strongly?"

Dion jammed a hand down there and heard the squishing sound at the same time she felt the wetness. "Ohmigod, you've made my soak myself."

"Oh really, great. Let me suck your fingers."

"No, get away from me you beast!"

He grabbed the pussy-smelling hand and sucked it, making exaggerated noises of approval. Dion couldn't help herself. She fell over him giggling helplessly like a whore, or how she imagined a whore would react half awash in fluids, the spoils of a successful sex encounter. The next thing he had fingers inside her pussy and brought them out dripping and make her suck them. She could have refused, but she didn't she had no idea why and heard herself say wantonly, "Oh a lovely drop, great vintage this year." Unbelievable.

Dion lay half-asleep across her chest and was aware of what he was doing. He worked a finger into her asshole and she had allowed that to happen without protest. Any other time she would have screw the balls of any guy attempting to do that if the simple rebuke, "Fuck off" hadn't worked. Well it would appear butt-fucking was on their agenda. He'd figured by that finger test she was a butt virgin.

They walked up the driveway, Jimmy supporting her because she was a little tired but feeling really emotionally drained.

They kissed deeply and stroked faces and finally he said, "Goodnight. You appear almost out on your feet."

Reaching her bedroom Dion heard the SUV leave from under the spreading trees and thought she's just experienced the most fulsomely incredible Friday night of her adult life. So many reasons contributed to that conclusion. And to think they'd not even had sex, er, in the conventional sense.

CHAPTER 3

On Sunday Jimmy called Dion that he was just turning into her street to allow her to be outside the front door to greet him.

They kissed and she felt unbalanced so he knew she was on only one leg, the other lifted up at the knee, the sort of things girls do when they try to be extra girlie.

"You smell fresh, I can't smell pussy."

"God you are crude; I don't know why I put up with you. That's not your vehicle – it's our IS250 coupe demonstrator.

"Yeah, call your mom out will you."

Dion laughed. "You'll never get her in that – she'd gone European in her head. I'll send her out however, to give you the chance to test yourself."

A tall, elegant woman in sandals and three-quarter white pants and a bright floral top and headband of matching material emerged and said, "So you are Jimmy?"

"Yes, good afternoon Mrs... um Britt."

"So you've decided to take the risk and be informal in addressing me. Very well. I'm pleased to meet you and to learn you are supportive of Dion at the dealership."

"Well that's not difficult Britt, she looks great and her personality shines."

"Oh what a lovely thing to say."

"Britt take the wheel of this beauty."

"It's one of Terry's isn't it, a Lexus coupe. One of my girlfriends has one, a gold color but I like this one..."

"Tungsten Pearl."

"Oooh, don't they have grand names for paint these days. When I was selling with Terry when he was starting out on his own with that huge debt..."

Britt sat in the driver's seat as she chatted on, looking around her. Jimmy's mind was reeling... Britt had been in the dealership at the beginning, really involved it seemed. What had gone wrong to separate Terry and Britt in their business relationship?

Jimmy pointed out the controls, not bothering with the messy stuff, and then explained how to adjust the seat to her liking. When she was comfortable, wriggling her ass and saying "Oooh" he closed her door and went around and climbed in beside her.

"And exactly what kind of con are you pulling young man?"

"Don't bother about that at the moment ma'am. This is a no-obligation test of a very feminine coupe with grunt."

Britt moved off without fuss, indicating she was a competent driver. As they moved along the street she asked the curly one: "Why are you doing this?"

"I suspect you want the truth."

"Yes young man, and without fudging."

"I'd not seen you in the showroom and Dion told me I never will."

"I see and she explained why?"

"That was the odd thing. She didn't appear to know why. And then I asked what kind of car you drove."

"And she indicated a VW Passat?"

"Yeah, take and right up ahead."

"That goes to the windy hill climb. So I'm supposed to try out this lady and be impressed and decide to buy it."

"Well having a daughter like Dion I didn't expect you to be stupid."

They drove mainly in silence and at the top of O'Brien's Hill they parked, over-looking the vista.

"Dion was eleven at the time," Britt began without warning. "Terry had agencies for Chevy pickups and trucks and two makes of Japanese cars that were slowly gaining market share as the passing years diluted bad memories of the long-past war. We were struggling at the time because farm prices were down and so was building activity. Instead of pulling in his horns and riding it out, Terry went the other way with grandiose ideas as usual and once again would be proven right. But I was mad with him. I'd had two miscarriages and then ended that likelihood ever again with surgery. And I was tired of living amid debt and working into the evenings and weekends trying to sell vehicles while wishing for a normalized life like my coffee mornings-book club-golfing girlfriends."

"Terry said he was going ahead with or without my support and drew up a business plan and with the bank loan with our former home as security purchased the site where he is now. Somehow we survived and just as our heads appeared permanently above water he signed up the area franchise for Lexus. That seemed crazy for me because most of our clients purchased pre-owned vehicles. It meant building a swept-up showroom and support facilities. I went into his office to yell at him to cancel the deal and I'd get my father to pay the penalties involved and found the door locked. So I used my key and swept in to find him fucking his cooperative bank loan manager, a blonde ten years younger than me. He saw me but she didn't which was fortunate because Jerry was granted his loan. I withdrew silently, giving him a foul gesture."

"You don't have..."

"I need to tell someone Jimmy. Except for my late father, no one was ever told. I'd like you to tell Dion sometime. I believe I'd go hysterical telling her because I'd really relive it."

"Okay, keep calm."

"I took Dion to live with my widower father and it was fine, Terry and I had agreed to divorce. Then Dion began whining she wanted to go and live with daddy and me or just with daddy. That shook me. Then my father had a heart attack watching ice hockey and died before medical assistance arrived. At the funeral as you could imagine I was in such a mess than when Terry said 'Come home Brittany' I just capitulated. My father left me a great deal of money so I paid off all of Terry's debts, resigned and said I never wished to step foot in the place again. So I haven't. I got back sexually with Terry but I own that house and so he knows I can throw him out if I ever catch him misbehaving again. End of story."

Britt began weeping, so Jimmy took her in his arms, as best he could in a car, and stroked her face and kissed her hair until she calmed and then drew away, patting his arm and thanking him.

"Right Britt, it's time to end this... totally. Here's what I want you to do – you buy this vehicle which is a demonstrator, or a new one with some other color you like better, and I'll sell your Passat for you. I'll tell Dion over dinner what you have told me today and I want you at the client cocktail party we are holding on Friday week to introduce a new model. All this is to achieve complete reconciliation."

Britt sighed deeply. "Okay, it's time for that, I acknowledge what you are doing to assist but I don't understand why I must change cars as part of the package?"

"Even Dion regards you not driving a franchise vehicle from Gold Star Motors as an insult to your father. I asked but she doesn't know what Terry thinks about it."

"Oh god, I stuck a sword not a knife into him, didn't I?"

"Actually Britt I admire your style. Your were treated poorly but in hitting back as an avenging bitch you did the complete job apart from divorcing the philanderer."

"Do you like Terry? I understand from Dion you are the wonder boy protégé."

"He likes me and I like him. That's enough for me Britt because I'm only twenty-two so life remains uncomplicated for me."

"You appear aged beyond your years. Last night Britt told me my suspicions about her father having an affair were correct, that she had information but refused to divulge it. She later asked Terry, in my presence, would he coach her to become a top salesperson."

Jimmy grinned.

"Terry's face was a treat to see and he looked even more pleased when she said her ambition was to become at least as good as you were at asking for the order. You were involved in both of those initiatives, weren't you?"

"All I'm saying I want it sorted out for Dion's sake. She's a lovely young woman and feels she has two half parents in some ways and has a bias towards her father because of his deep feeling of warmth for her. I simply assumed I'd find you to be a cold-hearted bitch but after you talking to me I change that to a long-wounded wife. You can't turn back the clock but you'll enjoy your daughter more by totally recanting."

"So I achieve that by owning this demonstrator and sobbing to Terry that I finally forgive him?"

Jimmy liked his lips. "My thinking is that let's Terry off the hook. You don't even have to buy the car, it can remain a company car."

"Okay, so how do I have a piece of Terry?"

"You should do it your way. You are bright and know how to counter-punch."

"I'd appreciate your suggestion but would like to hear your suggestion."

"Easy, you say, 'Give up that fucking woman of yours Terry and hereafter remain true to me and for that commitment I'll forgive you utterly'."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, men are not very complicated Britt. You ought to know that."

She laughed and climbed out of the vehicle. "Drive me home in my new car Jimmy, stopping at a bottle store. It's French champagne before, during and after lunch. I'll drag Terry away to deliver my ultimatum as soon as we arrive home."

They drove up to the house that Jimmy had mistakenly believed was Terry's acquisition.