Jimmy Palin You Asshole

"What's with the flags and floodlights I saw the other night Britt... too ostentatious for you, surely?"

"Well yes, those were Terry's suggestions when I purchased."

Jimmy had planted the 'bad taste' idea so said nothing more.

Dion and Jerry met them, looking worried.

"You've been almost one and a half hours," Dion complained.

"Yeah babe but I had an uphill job with her. Tell them Britt."

"This is my new car."

"Oooh," Dion said, jumping up and down clapping. Her father said, "Well I be damned."

"Come along with me Terry. That's not the only influence young Jimmy has had on me. We need to talk."

They walked off and Dion said, "You also worked on mom about dad?"

"Yeah but success depends on the reaction of your father. Help me with these bottles."

"Six bottles of champagne. God what's got into her?"

"New hope I would think. Take me to some food. I'm hungry."

"Okay providing I get some kisses."

"Deal."

Terry and Britt came walking to them, hand-in-hand.

"God, look at them. Something's changed them."

"Dion, ignore it please. I'm to talk to you about it over dinner."

"When?"

"Er tomorrow night. You'll be pie-eyed on champagne by tonight."

Jimmy was correct. Around 4:00 when Terry and Britt waved him off in a cab, being too drunk to drive, Dion had already vomited and was soundly asleep in her bed.

He arrived home to find the girls red-eyed and Harry staring at the wall in the kitchen, hands cupping his chin.

"What's up?"

"Mom's left us," Mia cried.

"I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do," intoned Harry.

Veronica pleaded, "Help us Jimmy."

Jimmy felt weighed by guilt. Christ Terry must have called her to say it was all over and Victoria had gone off and was probably standing on the river bridge looking down at the dark swirling waters as they spoke. It was his fault. Why had he interfered?

"Where's Vicki," he croaked.

Charlotte sobbed, "At grandma's – she called us to say she'd arrive okay and was sorry she was doing this to us."

"Doing what to you?"

"Abandoning us."

"Why?"

"She blames dad for not loving her and says she had to get a new life."

"What new life?"

"A life with a man who loves her and has beautiful sex with her."

By this stage Jimmy wasn't sure who was talking. Everyone was talking. Harry was now saying, "But why me, I was a good father?" Why me, I was a good father?"

"Clear off girls," Jimmy said. "I need to talk to your father. Shut the door behind you."

"Aw Jimmy, can't we..."

"Fuck off!" he roared, and they fled.

"I ought to hit you for talking to my daughters like that."

"Come on Harry you fucking wimp. Here's my jaw – hit it."

"I'm not a violent person."

"No, I guessed that otherwise I wouldn't have invited you to hit me. Then what are you?"

"I don't know."

"I know, you're a guy up to his elbows in cunt and it's confused you."

"You have no authority to demean a woman's core by using that word."

Jimmy looked at Harry grimly. "The truth Harry. Why has Vicki left you?"

"She's been having an affair but it ended today. She was dropped, just like that... a thirty-second call. She cried and said she had no-one to fall back on to, that she still had years of active sex life left."

"And so."

"I told her I knew that."

"Yes Harry, I expect you did. And then you offered sympathy reinforced with assurances?"

"No, whatever for?"

Jimmy threw up his hands and snapped, "Stew in it Harry."

He yanked open the door and the three girls listening at the door practically fell into the room. "Okay you lot, into the lounge."

Veronica, Charlotte and Mia sat watching Jimmy nervously.

Aware of his involvement, Jimmy cleared his throat and said, "This is an unfortunate situation, for all of us."

He paused hoping someone would say he wasn't to blame but no such assurance, however misdirected, was forthcoming.

"Your mom has been having a long-running affair with a guy who collapsed it today. Your father failed to offer the support your distraught mother required so she ran home to mother."

"It's a long way to run."

Charlotte said shut up Mia.

"Do you want my opinion?"

Mia and Charlotte said yes while Veronica said no. Jimmy took that to having majority backing.

"Veronica, please step outside with me for a moment."

"Veronica, don't be a tough, know-all bitch. I assume you know who the guy is?"

"Yes, I wormed it out of mom before the others came into the room."

"Do they know?"

"No. It's your fault, isn't it, trying to help Dion's parent's mend their marriage."

"Yes."

Veronica said fiercely, "But why? Our mother treated you wonderfully. What has Dion's mother done for you?"

"Well I over-cooked and failed to look at downstream consequences. It's very difficult to repair both sides of a bridge simultaneously."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. But let's go back in. Promise me you'll never tell your sisters what you know about your mother's affair?"

"Okay, you've been fair to me, not throwing me out of your bed once you set your peepers on Dion."

"To be truthful I haven't inserted yet."

"I know, but that's where your mind is. Can you bring mom back to us?"

"No."

Jimmy assisted the crying Veronica back into the lounge.

"Everyone, today is a today you'll remember for the rest of your lives," said Jimmy. "It's tragic but today was the day when your mother finally and totally accepted her marriage was dead."

Even Veronica was staring at Jimmy wide-eyed.

"Your mom entered into a relationship with another guy to get what she was not receiving from your father and that lack of companionship and passion could have been blighting her life for years. Today your mom was told over the phone he was severing their relationship. Kaput!"

"Oh how terrible," Mia said. She began crying and that set off the others.

"Your mother might attempt to return but I hope she doesn't because it would only be for the sake of you guys and really you are all old enough to leave the nest or to stay here with your father."

They looked at Jimmy horrified.

"This is the opportunity to give your mom the support she needs. I reckon she needs to make a clean break and position herself to come into contact with a guy who with luck will love and cherish her for as long as they live. This moment could be her only chance, her last chance because her last years of love plus sex are ticking to a close...tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock."

The sisters appeared to be silently voicing the words tick-tock.

Jimmy paused. They looked at one another and held hands.

"You know I'm not big into family stuff," confessed Jimmy, "but I know how adults interrelate. Whatever happens you will still have a mother and a father. Both of them need support right now. At the same time it's up to you guys to hold yourselves together. Fortunately for you Mia you go away to college soon. There is no reason why you can't return to this house during some breaks and stay with your mother at other breaks. Veronica and Charlotte, your time in this house is winding down anyway, tick-tock, tick-tock. My view about this is you three should jump into your father's car right now and go to your mother – stay the night. Remember you are going to support her so don't whine on about how unfair this is to you. I'll be here with your father and will cook our dinner. Do you need money?"

"No thanks Jimmy," Veronica said. "Daddy's fuel card is in his SUV. May we tell mommy what you said to us?"

"Only if you think it could help her. She feels down and almost out so be very careful with her."

They crowded around Jimmy to kiss and thank him.

"Tonight I'll tell Harry where you have gone and why. He's not in condition to be overloaded right now."

Eating dinner Harry said, "If she's gone for good I ought to look for another woman."

"Whatever for Harry?"

"For companionship and the odd bit of sex."

"Well just make sure you pick a woman who can cope with your indifference and has low sex drive."

"No woman would be interested in me."

"Well if you go on like that you could be right. On the other hand women see you as an eminent medical specialist Harry. They'll come to you Harry but if you are aiming to take one for a companion don't pick a robust woman like Vicki with her high sex drive."

"Did you ever bed Victoria as you did my daughters?"

"No Harry and that's the truth. But I was tempted at times."

"Thank you for telling me that."

Jimmy then told him where his daughters were and why he'd told them to go there. "I told them whatever happens Vicki will continue being their mother and you will continue being their father."

"Yes, quite. That's unchangeable, set in genes."

"It's very likely they will continue living here."

"You really think so; and you?"

"Yes if you wish me to stay on. I may indirectly have had influenced on Vicki leaving you. You know my brash manner of speaking and radical viewpoints."

"I have no problem with that Jimmy. Victoria's no pushover when it comes to telling her what to do. I know it's been a long, long time since she was satisfied with me. It would have been the children keeping this family together and this loss of her lover has awoken her to the fact that with Mia about to go to college Victoria would have seen life without me within her grasp."

"It's rather like the renewal process of life, isn't it?"

"An excellent viewpoint young man. Shall we discuss it?"

"Yeah why not Harry. I'll pour you another red and one night when you are in a mellow mood and you and Victoria have commenced separation formalities if it gets that far, I'll talk to you about how you have to change to take up with a new woman. My belief is you won't have to look beyond your former patients, I mean divorcees you can deal with ethically. Perhaps we should begin by setting up a profile for you..."

"I'm in emotional overload at this juncture Jimmy."

"Yeah, quite right. I like the rounded style of this red with its substantial body.

Jimmy took a call from Veronica just after 10:00.

"Not unexpectedly we found mom in quite a mess but Gran said she was far worse when she arrived. She heard us out and we all cried and hugged and seemed to have understanding at the right level. Gran and Pop were so glad we have come. Now you talk about us remembering this day for the rest of our lives, well listen to this. We had been telling Gran and Pop how you thought we should react to this situation and what you thought the best options for mom were. We'd not noticed her standing in the doorway until she said, 'That Jimmy Palin has had such influence on our lives in such a short time hasn't he darlings? It seems destiny decreed he should come to our home seeking shelter'. Something passed between mom and we girls at that moment, I'm sure it did. It was an unforgettable experience Jimmy."

"Well I haven't been left empty-handed while staying in your home Veronica. You for instance are one lovely lady and whatever you think you are much too nice for me. You are in conflict too much with Ralph but have you noticed the way his pal Tom looks at you. I'd take a closer look at Tom if I were you but hey, don't listen to me..."

"Tom you say. You mean he'd looking to get into my pants."

"Well it's up to you to find out but I'd think with you he's been thinking beyond that."

"Are you sure?"

"Darling, you can never be sure about men. You know that."

Veronica laughed and said she'd just checked on her mom who was asleep in Mia's arms.

"I was rather surprised. Mom asked Mia to sleep with her. I've always been the favorite."

Jimmy said he didn't know about family stuff but it would seem to him that it would be mothering instinct. "Your mom probably sees Mia as the more vulnerable of you three."

"You mean because of age?"

"Not at all, emotionally."

"Ohmigod, you're probably right."

"Want to know something else?"

"Yes, yes. Go on."

"This is observation Veronica, I know nothing about it. But I see you as the new lynchpin of your family as your mom knows someone has to be in that role now that she's taken a body blow and it's not because you are the oldest daughter. You have what it takes baby – leadership qualities."

"That's bullshit, you are just pushing me to commit to the role."

"If you can't see that it's about time you did Veronica. Your mom will probably have a quiet word with you in the morning and tell you it's time for you to exercise the qualities she sees in you."

"Well mom will have a word with us on the morning... you can be sure of that," she laughed.

* * *

On Sunday at noon Jimmy had just entered the office at noon and kissed Dion before giving her the opportunity of seeing him in action with prospects to see if she could learn anything she thought was worthwhile when his phone went.

"Hi Veronica."

"So your mom did give you that little speech. I said she would. Well chin up and accept the mantle. Are you just leaving for home now? Good, I have Dion beside me. I'll pass you over and you can bring her up to date. I have not disclosed anything of the drama. Good luck being mother."

Dion took the phone and said hi. Jimmy walked out to sell a vehicle of two while she yapped on. He'd scared away on couple by his full-on approach and another couple asked him to leave them while they toured the showroom. At that point Dion joined him and said, "You have reinforced one marriage and wrecked another."

"It was already wrecked."

"That's what Veronica said. She is so grateful at what you have done for the family."

"Yeah, me and my big mouth. Right, eye on the ball. See this couple – they want to buy a new car, just look at their jaunty walk and smiles of confidence. But those smiles are fading as they see the price tags so what do we do?"

"Send them across to our pre-owned yard."

"Yeh but why lose an opportunity? Your mom has taken the low-mileage IS250 and the back-up one has high miles and has lost its gloss. How much can we let it go for?"

"How would I know?"

"Darling it's your job to know."

Dion flamed and said, "Don't you ever call me darling unless you are sweet-taking me."

"So much for commitment to learn from the master, er the would-be-master."

"I'm sorry. I must pick up these vital tips."

"Yeah, if you have to go off and check or even make a call you may lose your hot prospect. You ignore the manufacturer's suggested retail price. It's a base model and when we began using it as a demo four and a half months ago the dealer price was $82,375 and we are now authorized to let it go for as low as $22,000 but the boss would prefer at least $24,000."

"How do you know all that?"

"Darling I know everything I need to know about the twenty-one new cars and demonstrators for which we have responsibility. But enough of that. Hi guys, I'm Jimmy Palin, here's my card and this is my associate Dion King."

"Hi Lucy."

"Hi Dion. Are you showing this new boy the ropes?"

"Yes ma'am and I have yet to sell a set of wheels," said Jimmy who had not sold a vehicle that day. "But I have something out the back that might interest you guys. We are pricing pretty competitively at the moment. You can check out any quotes I give you with prices being offered on the Internet for comparison. You are obviously thinking Lexus otherwise you wouldn't be here or were you calling in Lucy for a chat with Dion?"

"No we are looking for a set of wheels as you term it. I didn't think the boss's daughter would be on the floor on a Sunday."

"Yeah, it was great for her to give up a Sunday at a cook-out getting drunk with her friends. You are doing the talking Lucy so it's polite to ask you what revs your motor – I mean what model?"

"We came looking for the sexy IS250 without really knowing what they cost. But Christ, $37,8500."

"Well if that's too much we can get the price down by whispering a bit of discount Lucy and the bare-bones car can save you dollars but cutback anything but the sound. The installed $400 sound package is exotic."

"Exotic?"

"Yeah it's 'x' not 'r'."

"What? Oh god, I hear you," Lucy giggled. "But I'm afraid it's too much."

"Well that's the best I can do for you Lucy. You'll find some sharper priced models over in our pre-owned yard over there but not an IS. People with them tend to hang on to them...their thinking is why break the dream."

"Excuse me?"

"Ignore me Lucy. Just stupid sales pitch. See that metallic Breakwater Blue IS250 coupe?"

"Yes, see it Russell?"

"Yeah, the all-wheel drive model."

"Lucy I can put you into a sold as new demonstrator rear wheel drive model with I think 5800 miles on the clock and its not quite five months old. I'll give you a price... if you just bear with me for a moment."

Jimmy flicked some buttons.

"Jesus."

"What?" Lucy asked anxiously.

"I can give you..." Jimmy walked right to them and dragged in Russell by the arm closer.

Dion had to strain to hear what he said.

"This is rock bottom pricing, absolutely. No bargaining, understand?"

"Yes, the price is fixed at $25,300 if we want it."

"Oh, you'll want it Lucy. I can see you in it, driving like a princess and your friends with their mouths open in the Wow shape. Right take them to it and sell them a car Dion. It will be spick and span when you take delivery of it."

As Dion lead Lucy and Russell away Jimmy called, "Oh take your time to think about it Lucy. You can sign up today or tomorrow but any later than tomorrow and it will be gone."

* * *

Dion and Jimmy were sipping coffee after selling two cars and listing three expressions of interest and being given phone numbers.

"That was a most successful day. God you could have easily had the pants off Lucy, even with Russell and me looking on. She was mesmerized by you."

"Nah, she just wanted an IS250 coupe and nothing less.

"You can bullshit clients Mr Palin but you can't bullshit me."

"How many IS250s are over there in the yard?"

"None, you said so."

"That's a red IS250 coupe on the revolving stand in their showroom."

"Oh god, you even sucked me in."

"I did say none in the yard Dion. It's in the showroom."

"Do you know all of the cars over there as well?"

"No, only every Lexus. I refer prospects to Claude and his team. As long as the company makes a sale who cares who gets the commission?"

"You have a very unusual attitude Mr Palin. Either you are very unusual or else you get kickbacks that daddy forbids."

Jimmy grinned and gave nothing away.

They went to a movie and then to dinner.

Jimmy took Dion's hand when they had a drink in the other hand. He said, "Is tonight the night."

"What night?"

"The night when I fuck you?"

He'd spoken softly but Dion still groan and blushed. "Jimmy, you must moderate the way you talk to women. None of them will have anything to do with you if they hear you talking like that."

"As you say dear."

"And don't call me dear; we're not married."

"Okay Dion. I'll try to make me like you. It will be no more difficult than enticing people to buy a car off me."

"What by spiel and deception?"

"What would I want to do that when all I have to do is to convince them there're right, they do wish to buy a car and I have just the one that's right for them providing they come up with the money. But with that out of the way, and you convinced I'm really quite a lovely guy, hold on to your seat baby while I tell you about your mother and father. This is what your mom wants me to do. She loves you but believes she'd be reduced to a sobbing mess attempting to tell you herself."

The longer Jimmy talked the whiter Dion became.

"Well that's it. She gave him to ultimatum to give up his lady friend or it was all over between them."

"Oh god, they should have confided in me for support."