Levelling the Score

Arranging fresh golden roses in a vase on the hall table, Anne stepped back to admire her handiwork. Their fragrance vied with that of the perfume she was wearing. Hubby was due back any time and she wanted everything to be just perfect for his return. True enough, her morning certainly hadn't been perfect and, in fact, it had been eventful in a way she'd not wished for or expected. In point of fact it had rather thrown her off balance. Arriving home at lunchtime though, a shit, a shower, a clean change of clothes and a sandwich had done much to restore her equilibrium. Now she was looking forward so much to Hubby's return and wanted everything to be just right, not only for him but for both of them.

Sooner than expected the familiar sound of Hubby's Merc pulling up on the gravel driveway outside rang in her ears and her heart skipped a beat. Excitedly she ran to the door, as Brian climbed out of car, tired but happy. Unable to wait a second longer, Anne ran up to him and flung her arms around his ample body.

"Oh darling, I'm so glad to see you back. I know we only said goodbye yesterday but it seems like ages ago. I've so, so missed you."

Brian tenderly kissed his wife on the forehead, gently stroking her smooth flaxen hair as he did so.

"I've missed you too. Hey, how did the interview go?"

Anne paused momentarily and smiled.

"Well it was certainly interesting. You'll be delighted to know that I got the job and I start next Monday."

Brian stroked his wife's shoulders.

"I'm so pleased, Anne. I know how much getting that job meant to you. What do you mean by the interview being interesting though?"

"Oh nothing to worry about, Brian. You'll find out sooner or later I guess."

Brian was a little puzzled by his Anne's cryptic comments but he'd been married to her for long enough to know when it was wise to pursue a line of questioning and when it was better left.

"Well, is there anything good for supper? It seems like ages since I ate."

Anne nodded.

"Hubby dearest, I'm not cooking tonight. Now I've joined the ranks of the earning classes I've decided I'd like to celebrate by treating you to dinner at that restaurant you so much like over in Woodchester. I've got a table booked for seven thirty so perhaps you'd like to go and freshen up."

Delighted and agreeably surprised by his wife's generosity and readiness to spend money on him, Brian headed upstairs to shower and change.

An hour later they were in the stylish surroundings of Graftons Restaurant in the centre of Woodchester, just outside the Cathedral Close. As she was driving, Anne sensibly decided to limit herself to a slimline tonic with ice and lemon, choosing the fresh Scottish salmon from the menu. As his wife was on tonic water, Brian decided to opt for a pint of best bitter as he thought it would look odd if he sipped a glass of Merlot or Chardonnay alone. Ready for a hearty meal he tucked into a seven inch Yorkshire pudding filled with steak and onions.

Sensitive to her husband's hunger but keen to know how Brian's meeting had gone, Anne couldn't help questioning him.

"How did the conference go, darling? Was it interesting?"

Between mouthfuls, Brian did his best to reply.

"It was okay. To be honest I've spent most of the time networking. I didn't fancy the main seminar this morning so I gave it a miss. It was one of those jobs where you had coffee and registration to begin with and then a boring three-hour presentation until lunch. To be honest it wasn't my scene so I decided to catch up with a few contacts instead. I like the sort of jobs where you can go in, find out what the speaker's got to say, and escape over a coffee break mid way if it's not of much interest."

Anne knew perfectly well that Brian couldn't last for three hours without a wee, especially when coffee preceded the event and that, of course, was the real reason behind his decision to skip the seminar. Diplomacy was not lost on her though. There was the small matter of his male ego to consider.

"Hmm. I didn?t think it would be your scene somehow. Look, I think we'll skip coffee tonight as I'm sure you've had enough of the stuff at that conference centre to sink a battleship. I'm sure you could do with another pint though."

Brian looked across the table at her. What had he done to deserve a woman like this?

"It's ever so kind of you darling, but I really mustn't."

Anne produced the car keys from her handbag and dangled them in front of him.

"Oh go on! I'm driving tonight. Have three if you like. I won?t take 'no' for an answer."

Brian knew he was beaten.

"Very well. In that case I will."

Another pint was ordered and Brian obediently drank it. Anne delicately sipped her slimline tonic which she'd allowed to last all evening and gazed lovingly at him.

At ten to nine they decided it was time to make a move and Anne settled the bill whilst Brian retrieved his jacket. As they went out to the car he became immediately conscious of the cool night air but it didn't bother him unduly as he expected them to be home in twenty minutes.

As they left the restaurant though Anne took a turn in the opposite direction to the one for homeward bound. Brian was slightly puzzled and alarmed. The beer was beginning to make it's presence felt and he knew that before long he'd need to pee.

"Where are we going, Anne?"

"Oh, just a little mystery tour. You've been driving all day and I thought you?d appreciate being driven for a change."

"I do, but can't we just go straight home? I'm feeling rather tired."

Anne squeezed his hand gently and smiled.

"What? Spoil the romance of a lovely evening. I don't think so. Just look at the city lights below us and floodlighting on the Cathedral. Isn' it lovely?"

Brian was beginning to feel the need to pee increasingly badly now and it worried him that his wife was intent on prolonging the evening.

"Look Anne. I really need to pee. Can we pull over somewhere or find a pub?"

Anne drove on steadily, seemingly oblivious to the urgency of his need, her only acknowledgement being a brief grunt.

"Ahem."

Brian was becoming increasingly desperate and, hands between his legs, he held himself in a frantic attempt to stop himself peeing.

"Please, Anne. I've really, really got to pee. Just pull in somewhere please. If you don't stop soon I'm going to soak these trousers and the car seat!"

As they left the city, Anne pulled into a country lane bounded by thick hedges and stopped the car.

"Out you get, Brian. I'll stand guard while you go in that hedge on the right."

Relieved that she'd finally taken pity on him, Brian fled the car and, diving into the hedgerow, unzipped his trousers and whipped his member out. He peed and peed and peed, a massive torrent cascading into the hedge for what must have been two minutes but felt like an eternity.

"Are you done yet?" Anne sounded impatient.

"Nearly."

As the cascade subsided to a trickle and finally stopped, Brian sighed with relief. Zipping himself up he walked with Anne back to the car.

"I can't tell you how much better that feels, Anne."

Anne smiled knowingly at him.

"I know the feeling. I felt like that earlier on today but unlike you, no one took pity on me. Whilst I think about it, here's a fiver which Clive Fotheringay asked me to give you. Apparently you won a little wager with him. Somehow I think you'll need it to offset the cost of tonight's meal."

Brian's face went an ashen shade of grey.

"What do you mean?" he stammered. "I thought you paid for the meal tonight."

Anne looked solemn.

"I did darling. Using one of your cards. Careless of you to leave it lying around, wasn't it? Here, you can have it. I think that's punishment enough for telling your wife's prospective employer that she wets her knickers, don't you?"

The End