Liv's Legacy: Anise

"As he told me, he did put you through a ringer, so to speak. Anise, my dear, we do have to be sure of the spiritual welfare of our congregation. In your case, as he told you, you are young and very lovely, and many are interested in you, but just what you may be interested in is something we're not sure of, so if any ask, we can't say. That's why I had Mr. Alexander speak to you.

"Tell me," he started, but one of his fingers left off of my hand and settled on my thigh, then moved lightly on it, innocuously, "are you sure that you're not interested in girls, or women perhaps? We do need to know because if that's the case, then we must work with you to set you on the right path."

I know he was looking at my face, but all I did was to look at his hand, his finger, that is, that was mildly moving more on my thigh, though seemingly innocent in its moving. After my experience with Mr. Alexander, I began to worry about what was happening, why they were paying so much attention on me. Then his hand moved off of mine fully, and he patted my thigh, but at the same time, moved his hand on it, again, very lightly.

"You needn't be afraid, Anise. We're here to help you if you are interested in girls, or even, as Mr. Alexander suggested, older men. Now you be very honest with me, which is it, and we'll help you. You are a child of God's and we must do all we can to make sure that he's always pleased with you, and that we're always doing as he wishes us to for his flock."

This wasn't right though I wouldn't tell myself what it was that wasn't right, but I knew I had to leave, and quickly.

"Pa—Pastor Malloy, tha—thank you, but I have to go now. I promised to meet a friend, and I'm late," I said, not waiting for him to say anything, but quickly getting up and leaving.

Once more I had to wonder if they knew the truth about me, and if they were trying to make me admit how I truly felt, what my real desires were. But this time I wondered at the way in which they tried to find out. it wasn't right to tempt someone as they had. No, it wasn't right, and I allowed myself to think it. Then again, maybe they felt it was the only way to make me admit to my dangerous and sinful desires. Would God really send me to hell because I craved another woman? So long I had worried about this, for too many years, and it was a plague on my mind.

Later that week, I noticed my mother seeming to act different towards me, and that increased my worrying. Why was my world suddenly falling apart? My heart and mind were being severely burdened by all that was happening to me.

Chapter 2

After Sunday services, Mrs. Alexander wanted to talk to me. That should have bothered me, and it did, but not as it should have. I had no idea of what all was to come.

"Let's just sit here and talk, us two girls only, okay?" she flashed her beautiful smile, her teeth so white and straight. Not that mine were bad, but, well, hers was like everything else about her. She was devastatingly beautiful!

I nodded, and sat on the very same sofa I had sat in the other two times with Mr. Alexander and Pastor Malloy.

"Do you remember when you were baptized? I said to you afterward that you were such a lovely looking girl," she ran on without giving me a chance to answer her question.

I nodded, and tried not to look at her loveliness, her beauty. It was so difficult to keep my eyes from traveling over her, but I didn't dare look at her face.

"Well, I hate to tell you, but you've grown into a very beautiful woman, Anise, and I do mean beautiful. I know that men love to sneak peeks at me when they think I'm not looking—yes, I do notice things like that," she said with a quiet, easy laugh. "Anyway, when I looked at you today, you made me ashamed of my looks."

I couldn't believe what she said, and I guess my face showed it.

"Hmm, I see you don't believe me, huh? Come closer, and let's do a little comparing and I'll show you what I mean," she said, scooting towards me, and signaling me to do the same.

She wasn't satisfied until we were touching hip and leg. At that, my breath became very stunted.

"Now just relax, and do as I do, okay?"

I nodded, then she lifted the leg that was rubbing on mine until it was straight out. My breath caught, it was so gorgeous. She had fantastic legs, and fantastic everything else, but to be showing me her leg like that just took my breath away.

"Now you put your leg out next to mine."

Mesmerized, I didn't think about it, but automatically did as she did, our legs now next to each other, rubbing together, and straight out.

"See what I mean? Your leg is more beautiful than mine. Shame on you, Anise, out doing me like that," she faked pouting, then quickly broke into a smile that sucked me in. "You have gorgeous legs, sweetie. Haven't you noticed them before?"

My head was shaking my answer.

"Well, you should. In those heels and hose, they're absolutely magnificent. Look," she said, then quickly pulled the hem of her dress up, and just as swiftly had mine up too.

I gasped at her doing that, showing me more of her leg, and some of it bare too for she had on a pair of those thigh high hose, and a goodly amount of her thigh was bared to my eyes. I could hardly breathe.

"Mercy, Anise, your legs are more beautiful than mine, but I forgive you. Just between us girls, you understand," she said, her voice as if conspiring with me, and then a wink of her eye as I found myself looking at her in disbelief.

I blushed, and worse, I felt it burning on my face. Her hand went to my cheek.

"And look at that sweet blush. Goodness, Anise, it does look so lovely on your face."

Her hand caressed my cheek, but not for long. She took it away, and I wished instantly that she hadn't, but her eyes held mine. I was like the bird that was suddenly looking into the face of a hungry snake, I couldn't pull my eyes away.

"I know you don't like boys, but have you ever been kissed by anyone other than your parents?" she asked so softly it was almost a whisper.

My head was moving from side-to-side saying no wordlessly. "But I bet you've thought you'd like to be kissed, haven't you?" she still spoke in a soft, tempting voice that I was loving.

Again, my head was moving, but up and down. There was no way I could lie to her. The thought of doing so never entered my mind, I was so enthralled by her, and her face was moving closer to mine. So close, and I was working so hard to catch a breath.

"You would like to be kissed, wouldn't you?" she asked. Again, I nodded slowly. "Would you like for me to kiss you, Anise?" she asked, her face even closer to mine.

I could feel her warm breath on my lips, then her one hand wending its way into my hair, then caressing my neck at the hairline. Had I thought of it, I would have known that my body was so hungry for her continued touch, and yes, her kiss.

"Tell me, Anise, do you want me to kiss you? Say it if you do," she did whisper, her lips nearly touching mine.

"Y—yes," I couldn't help but answer her in a whisper that I was barely conscious of.

No sooner had I acquiesced than her lips were on mine. They were so sweet that I moaned in the joy of feeling them, wanting them, and kept right on moaning as she pressed ever so much more into mine, but with a tenderness that was loving, and very firm. They were twisting and turning, then her tongue skimmed my lips, and I nearly melted into her, strange quiet noises coming from me, noises of pure pleasure. When I felt her hand at my neck pushing my face to hers, I gave in completely.

This had to be love, it was so delicious in every way. I did think that, and wished it would go on forever. It didn't.

"Mm, that was nice, wasn't it?"

I felt my face nodding, and my eyes now refusing to leave hers, the wonder of her kiss doing strange, but wonderful things in me.

"You did like it, didn't you? Want to kiss me now? Kiss me as I kissed you?" she did tease me, her smile telling me she was, but it was so inviting. I nodded, our eyes holding together. "Then come, kiss me as you'd like to, kiss me as I kissed you."

Her voice was halting, her breath as if like mine—hard to come by—and making her breasts rise and fall so temptingly. God, she was so beautiful!

Then I was going to her, and quickly, I was kissing her, and I do mean kissing her. My lips were on hers with such a hunger that there was no softness to my kiss. The rush to kiss her was so fast that I had pushed her body back so that she was leaning, and my hands, they wanted to do something on her, but I didn't know what. She must have solved that for I felt her one hand on mine, then I was feeling her thigh.

It never occurred to me to wonder how my hand had gotten under her dress, only that I loved the feel of her bare thigh under my hand that was moving back and forth on it as I kissed her passionately. When my fingers touched the hem of her panties, a shock of sensations rushed harshly through me, and I felt my heart lurch, and my moans to become louder—much louder—as my lips twisted on hers with a wanting that I'd never dreamed of.

Then we heard the door open, and we jerked apart and looked, stunned by the interruption. It was her husband!

"Mark!" Mrs. Alexander said in surprise, but nothing else.

His look was frightful to me, angry, and I shivered in my fear. He looked with piercing eyes, but at Mrs. Alexander, then just as suddenly, he turned and left, closing the door. It was so disconcerting, confusing, the high emotions that I was feeling, then the sudden fear. It must surely have shown on my face, but surprisingly, Mrs. Alexander was smiling.

"Not to worry, Anise, this is all still our secret. I can take care of Mark. You don't think so?" she asked, her face studying mine that probably had pure shocked disbelief on it.

"Honey, he's a man, and a woman like we are can control them. We're what men want, and I know Mark and how he wants me." Her hand caressed my cheek, and again, I didn't want it to leave. "It's true. I'll take care of Mark.

She looked at me as if wondering if I believed her, then kissed my lips, softly, fully, but a quick kiss that left me wanting more.

"Mm, honey, you are so delicious I could eat you right up. Believe me, we're going to do something about this sweetness that's between us. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Her eyes soft, telling me she meant every word, I could only nod. I was her puppet, my head shaking or nodding quickly in response to her. All I knew was that I didn't want us to part, but I knew we had to. This was the church, and surely the pastor or someone else would soon come in. It all left me feeling so wanting.

"Come on," she took my hand, then caressed my face as we stood close to each other. "I hate we have to part, but soon we'll meet again, and it will be much better for you, for both of us. I promise you that, Anise, but before we go, I have to have another taste of your sweet lips," she said, and kissed me again.

This time she pulled our bodies together, and hugged me hard to her, our hips joined, our pelvises moving slightly against each other, and a craving for something that was so primal in me screaming its desire in my body. Too quickly we pulled apart.

"Mercy, I could get used to you in a hurry. Soon, honey, soon. I promise," she said, and led us out, my hand wishing it could still at least feel her hand in mine, but it was not to be.

"So you're off to college right after you graduate, huh?" she said as if we were carrying on a conversation, her mood changed instantly to be as if chatting with another parishioner. She was smooth. Very smooth.

* * * *

I spent the rest of the day in a daze, in wonderment at what I'd just experienced. In wonderment and fear too. Simultaneously, I was feeling both a desire that was consuming me, and a fear of the fires of hell in eternity. Yes, I was feeling them both together, heaven and hell, and it was ripping me apart. I so wanted Mrs. Alexander, the wondrousness of her touch, her kiss, her more than beautiful body that my eyes were loathe to leave off of looking at, or even feeling of as I had earlier. God, she burned me up with a fire that I did want, though I was in dread fear of the other fire, that of hell, and for her too, not just me.

Keeping to myself as I always did nobody suspected anything, but after dinner, when it was time to go for evening services, again the combination of fear and desire were on me in a rush.

"Hello," Mrs. Alexander said to all of us, but since I was at the end, she winked at me, and pursed her lips as in a kiss that made me blush furiously.

As she looked at me, she grinned her delight at so tormenting me. I can't say I didn't enjoy it because I did. I felt a warmth flood my body. I was in trouble, and I knew it, but had no idea what I could do about it. I wanted her as I'd never wanted anything or anybody, and all the while I shivered in fear of what awaited me in hell.

After services, she caught us again, but this time, she touched me.

"You have a marvelous daughter, Mrs. James; in fact, your whole family is marvelous. I'm always so glad to see all of you," she said, her professional self working my mother as her hand stayed on my arm reminding me of all of her, and in every way.

"Why thank you, Joann, it's always good to see you, and your husband too," my mother ate her words up in sincere delight.

Later that night, it all hit me. The battle within me was ferocious, both feelings refusing to relent, each demanding supremacy in me in every way. I wanted to cry aloud, to vent my distress, but I dared not. All I could do was to cry silently as my fears roared through me as pictures of Mrs. Alexander—Joann—flooded all of my senses.

When I woke up, I wondered that I had slept at all. My body sure didn't feel as if I'd slept. Still, school was almost over. Yes, I had passed all of my tests with flying colors, and had a scholarship in the city, but I had a few weeks to go yet. And then there was summer. I was dreading it, and yet I longed for it with a yearning that was suffocating.

That whole week I suffered with all the pangs of love and fear, but I had to think. I forced my mind to look at everything. My sanity demanded it—and so did my heart.

When it was Wednesday, I lied, and excused myself from going to mid-week evening services. As best I could, I had made up my mind to avoid Mrs. Alexander though I hated that decision. It was the best thing for our very souls in eternity. That I was doing it for her good as well as my own helped my resolve, my suffering in doing without her.

When Sunday came, I faked being sick, and didn't go to either service, but I knew I couldn't be sick every time when I was supposed to be in church. Still, I managed to watch and avoid Mrs. Alexander, though I let my heart do its thing through my eyes that couldn't keep from looking at her every chance I that I felt was good to take. Still, I remembered she said she knew when she was being admired by men, and I was sure she knew my eyes followed her.

The next Wednesday, as well as Sunday, my deceits worked; I was becoming very inventive at avoiding her no matter how much I wanted to be with her. Once, late near the end of Sunday services, she caught my eye, and I saw her shake her head mildly as she pursed her lips in a sign of her displeasure at staying away from her.

The following Wednesday, I let my guard down, but maybe it was a subconscious thing. While most of us were outside, I felt a need to go to the bathroom to pee, and went in without looking; I was in a big hurry.

As I entered the bathroom, I sensed the door opening as I hadn't thought to put the lock on. Flushing, and pulling up my panties and hose, I stepped out, and my breath caught in my throat as my heart fluttered in joy. She was standing there looking at me as if displeased. She was.

I quickly went to wash my hands to be doing something, fearful of what was to come, yet so wanting it.

"You've been avoiding me, you naughty girl. Don't you know how I've been longing for you? I know you loved what all we did with each other, how we kissed, and much more. You did like it, didn't you?"

The way she was looking at me, her eyes both taunting me, and hungry for me, I was trapped, and unable to lie to her, yet I said nothing.

"Well? Did you like it or were you just lying to me, leading me on, perhaps?"

"No, I wasn't lying..." I blurted out, but stopped whatever else I was about to say.

"Yes, I know you weren't. You still want me, my kisses, and to touch me and have me touch you, don't you, hmm?"

How she did it was something new to me, but she made a face that captivated me, and had me wanting to be in her arms.

"Yes, I can see that you still want me. Well, here I am. Come, kiss me, Anise. Kiss me as you did before. Let me feel how much you want me," she teased me as she closed the small gap between us until we were face to face, within inches, that is.

Once more, I could feel her breath on my lips, and I was being pushed by my desires for her, and quickly, I closed that small gap, and had my arms about her and my lips on hers. Our kiss was hot, torrid, and way to stifling of my senses other than those of pleasurable sensations.

Before I knew it, she had the hem of my dress up, and was pushing her pelvis into me. As she did, I knew she'd also lifted her hem, but more, through my panties and pantyhose, I felt of her skin. She didn't have panties on, and her hose were thigh high. That mad rush of sensations came to me as it had the last time when my fingers had touched the hem of her panties, and my lips pressed into her as if I was trying to ravage her lips.

When I sensed she'd had an orgasm, I was caught up in my joy at having done that for her, and I moaned my pleasure louder. As I did, her hand entered under my pantyhose and panties, and slid to my vagina. I was so wet, then so wanting as she toyed with my clitoris.

"Put your hand on my pussy and play with my clit like I'm doing with yours. Hurry, and let's come together," she said, her lips barely off of mine.

Without thought, my hand moved to her, and my fingers quickly found her clitoris. It was larger than I expected, and more, she had no hair, and it excited me so that I could hardly breathe, a bolt of electricity shooting through me.

"Look at me. Let me see you orgasm as I do. I want to see your love, baby. I need to see your pleasure when it hits," she said hotly, her eyes burning like fire into mine.

She played with my clitoris, and I did with her clitoris as she did with mine. My breath was coming in quick, sharp gasps as I felt her thighs barely touching mine, and my hand rubbing above her vagina, her pussy. It's smooth bare skin thrilled me, had me wanting more, to touch her more. As my excitement began to peak, I whimpered, but I refused to take my eyes off of hers.

"That's it, baby. I'm almost there. Do me, and come with me. Come, baby, come and join me."

Oh, mercy, I did, and was about to scream, but her lips covered mine, and that added to my orgasm which came in a fury of untold joys as I pressed into her hand, and felt her orgasm and her pressing into my hand and flooding me with her love.

When our orgasms passed, we clung to each other, he lips softly kissing my neck.

"I love you, Mrs. Alexander. God forgive me, but I love you though I know we'll go to hell. I just know we will."

She shocked me. She laughed lightly at my saying that.

"No, we'll not go to hell. How could we have been lifted up to heaven, then fall right into hell. We were in heaven. Didn't you feel it?"

"Yes," I said after a slight pause to consider her words, "I did."

"Why give us heaven and tease us with it, then send us to hell? Uh-uh, it doesn't work that way, and more, we're made to send each other to heaven time and time again. You'll see. We'll have summer in which to be together. We'll spend weekends, then when you're in college, I'll go see you and spend weekends there with you, and we'll love and love again, and send each other to heaven over and over. Would you like that?"