Lord of the Rings: Eowynbyvelvetpie©
The story is a fictional parody - it's not true, nor is it approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision.
* * * * *
Eowyn was too weary to cry. The throbbing of her broken arm reminded her of the hard-fought battle she'd just won as well as the painful sight of King Theoden's broken body being borne into the main hall. The solemnity of the attending guards gave the informal ceremony an air of majesty and she had no doubt that each person in this hall was feeling the loss. Eomer gave her a curt nod and followed behind the procession as did Aragorn, prompting her to join her brother and the King. She knew by the look on Eomer's face that he was angry at her.
"He had been so happy that I was alive just a short time ago." She casually remarked to no one in particular. "Now he is so angry, he'd bite my head off if I spoke to him."
"Who are you talking to?"
Eowyn jumped at the voice in her ear and was surprised to find an armored warrior standing at her elbow. A pair of dark brown eyes regarded her through the slits in the helmet and a mail gloved hand rested on the jeweled hilt of a great sword.
"Uh, no one."
"I see." The eyes looked away, focusing on the procession. "Sad day today. I hoped that I would not live to see great Theoden fallen."
"I, too, had hoped that." Eowyn's voice betrayed her and she fought to restrain her tears but the stranger's voice soothed her.
"Fear not, brave Eowyn. Theoden looks down upon you with great love and admiration."
"But I failed!"
"How is it that you failed?"
"I did not save him."
"Eowyn, you know as well as I that it was his time to pass on. He lived a glorious life and died a heroic death. He saw his brave niece face down the Lord of Nazgul, where others fled in cowardice and fear. He could not have asked for a better end."
Eowyn turned toward the warrior, her eyes silvery with tears. "You speak so eloquently about my uncle. Did you know him?"
"Oh, yes, Eowyn. I knew Theoden well." The brown eyes met her blue ones. "I've served him for nigh on ten years now."
"Served him? You served my uncle? In what capacity?"
"That, I cannot reveal, Eowyn. I may only divulge that information to the next King of the Mark."
"That would be my brother."
"Yes, Eomer. I will speak with him at length. Now is not the time to settle state matters."
Eowyn gazed dumbfounded at the warrior, trying to figure out who this person was. "If you will not tell me your business with my brother, may I at least make your acquaintance?"
The warrior pulled off the mailed gloves, one at a time, revealing small, short-nailed hands with thick fingers and those hands lifted the heavy helmet up, allowing a bundle of black curls to cascade downward. "I am Siobhan. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Eowyn."
Eowyn was so surprised that she couldn't speak for a moment. She had never seen a woman as beautiful as Siobhan. The darkness of her eyes mirrored the depth of midnight in her hair and both complimented the heart-like outline of her face and the shape of her mouth. "You are a woman."
"Observant as well as beautiful." Siobhan laughed, shoving her gloves into her helmet. "When I heard of what you did, I had to meet you. We lady warriors are few and far between."
"Y-Yes. We are." Something about the dark warrior captivated her senses and Eowyn felt as if she was floating every time she looked into Siobhan's eyes.
"Ah. I see you've met my sister." Eomer strode up to the two women, smiling at Siobhan but casting a brotherly eye upon Eowyn. "Eowyn, meet our uncle's right hand in matters of state. Siobhan is a spy."
"Eomer!" Siobhan hissed, glancing around at the others. "Not so loud!"
"Sorry." Eomer nodded, his smile tinged with sadness. "I am not used to this."
"And well you shouldn't be, my friend. Well, I have not eaten yet. I think I'll find myself something to eat and seek an audience with you later."
"I will look forward to it." Eomer gave Siobhan a sharp nod, then turned to Eowyn. "No more fighting this night, sister."
In silence, Eowyn watched her brother stroll away. "He worries much about you. He was quite bereft when he was told that you were dead."
"He doesn't act that way."
"What you did was selfish, Eowyn. You were thinking of aiding your beloved uncle but you were not thinking of those who would remain behind and mourn the loss." Siobhan stepped a bit closer. "Eomer has but one sister; one person of his bloodline to look to share the future of his line with. Did you not think of that?"
"I suspect that was not paramount in his mind, either. I bet he was thinking of the little blonde pest that followed him around everywhere." Eowyn's face registered shock at the extent of Siobhan's knowledge, but the woman just laughed. "Remember that his anger is grounded in love, Eowyn, and think on him next time you make such a decision."
Siobhan bowed and took her leave, knowing that the beautiful blonde was watching. That knowledge alone brought a smile to her face, which remained until she returned for an audience with Eomer. The young man was seated in his uncle's throne, paying silent homage to the man's body, which lay just yards away. King Theoden had been cleaned and dressed in his battle best and Eowyn hadn't been able to tear herself away from her uncle's side.
Eomer looked on, his own heart too heavy to aid his sister, and he welcomed Siobhan's arrival. He had not missed the effect the warrior had on his sister and he hoped that her gentle laughter would soothe Eowyn's pain. He accepted Siobhan's nod of acknowledgment and let his float over to Eowyn, hoping that Siobhan would understand.
"Hello, Eowyn." Siobhan noticed that the young woman did not answer and moved closer, watching her lovingly smooth the wavy tresses of her uncle's hair. "How are you feeling this evening?"
"Well." Eowyn couldn't find any more words to say.
"He was a fine man." Siobhan said softly, putting her arm around Eowyn's shoulder. "Tomorrow, he will join your kin and will have the finest funeral that anyone has ever seen. But today and tomorrow, you must continue to live." When she saw that her words brought tears to the ice-blue eyes, she whispered. "Theoden would want that."
Eowyn knew that her words were true and allowed the tears that she had kept bottled up to spill, leaning heavily on the warrior's strong arm. Siobhan led the young woman up to Eomer, bowing slightly.
"I think it would be best if your sister retires for the evening. The day's events and the injury to her arm have conspired to visit exhaustion upon her. Might I be allowed to escort her to her chambers?"
Eomer gave them both a gentle smile. "I leave her in your capable hands."
* * * * *
Eowyn awoke an hour later, her eyes heavy and her mind dull and slow. She yawned, stretched and slowly sat up, her eyes traveling around her chamber until they came to rest on Siobhan's reclining figure. The fierce armor had been removed and rested against the wall along with her boots and helmet and Eowyn was surprised to see that she looked quite different. Her lean, muscled frame was covered in a thin linen shift that reached to her knees and thick woolen socks with a hole in the left toe encased her feet. She was lying on the divan, her hair a wild mass of blue-black curls.
Her curiosity got the best of her and she slowly arose, tiptoeing over to the sleeping woman to take a closer look. The hardness of her face was relaxed in slumber and Eowyn smiled, finding a childlike quality there. Her creamy skin spread under the tattered shift and the breath left her lungs when her eyes caught the sight of fat, pink nipples beneath the translucent fabric. Suddenly, she was overtaken by the desire to touch one and she leaned closer, inhaling a mixture of worn leather, sweat and lilac scents.
Siobhan opened her eyes, momentarily startled to see Eowyn's lovely face so close to hers. "Hi."
Eowyn didn't try to contain her feelings. She slowly leaned down, her eyes closing and her body trembling but before their lips could touch, there was a knock at the door and one of the chambermaids strode in, curtsying in respect. She strode straight up to Eowyn.
"Begging your pardon, mistress, but I have the tub all ready to be brought in."
Eowyn looked confused and Siobhan spoke up. "That's fine, Gwyneth. Bring it in." She turned to Eowyn. "Do you have a robe I could borrow?"
After Siobhan was properly attired, Gwyneth opened the door and gave orders as to where the big, brass tub was to be placed and then directed the hot water bucket brigade like a seasoned commander. Within minutes, wisps of steam arose from the curved lip of the hammered brass and a set of fresh towel and half a cake of soap awaited the women.
"Will you be needing anything else this evening?"
Gwyneth looked to Siobhan for a response but it was Eowyn that answered, "No, thank you, Gwyneth. Siobhan will aid me in bathing."
"Yes, ma'am." Gwyneth gave a curtsy and closed the door, leaving Eowyn and Siobhan alone in the huge room.
Eowyn gathered her courage and strode over to where Siobhan sat, kneeling near the base of the divan. "Are you dirty?"
Siobhan's dark eyes glowed with mischievousness. "Very."
"Need a bath?"
Siobhan pulled Eowyn down and covered her mouth with her own, thrusting her tongue inside the soft, warm expanse and letting her hands slide down her soft arms. Eowyn pulled away, standing and pulling Siobhan up and she continued the kiss, pressing her body against the warrior's hard body and rubbing her hands along her back. She reached down, clutched the hem and pulled the shift up and off Siobhan's hard body, leaving the warrior buck naked. Siobhan reached forward and returned the favor, removing Eowyn's clothes and tossing them aside.
Eowyn turned, taking Siobhan's hand and holding it as they both stepped into the tub and sat down in the hot water. She leaned forward, wanting to taste more of Siobhan but the warrior moved out of range, hefting the soap. "Let's wash up and get out of here. I want you on the bed."
Siobhan's words brought blood rushing to her face and Eowyn cast her eyes down, concentrating on the lather forming between her palms. Siobhan's fingers lifted her head and the warrior moved forward, touching her nose to Eowyn's and rubbing gently. "Don't look away, love. Don't look away from anything tonight."
The warrior's callused hand rubbed the soft soap into a strip of towel, then began to scrub Eowyn's shoulders, washing away the acrid smell of combat. Eowyn closed her eyes and laid back against the edge of the tub, keeping her injured arm outside. Siobhan's hand moved from neck to collarbones to breasts, taking extra time to trace the outlines of her aureoles before traveling downward. Her hand passed over flat stomach and round hips before Siobhan asked her to stand.
Shivering, Eowyn stood, her skin pebbling from the chilly air as much as from Siobhan's touch. The warm towel slid over her belly, then over the blondish-brown tangle of pubic hair, her fingers pressing the folds apart and roughly gliding inside. Eowyn widened her stance and Siobhan arose onto her haunches, her face inches from Eowyn's pussy. The towel moved again, delineating each petal with lavender foam, then pressing inside the hole. Eowyn moaned lightly and Siobhan moved the towel back across Eowyn's asshole, cleaning thoroughly before rinsing it clean. A few minutes later, every inch of Eowyn's body had been scrubbed and rinsed and Siobhan hungrily watched as she stepped from the tub.
Eowyn grabbed a towel and dried off while watching Siobhan drag the cloth along her long limbs and around her fat-nippled breasts. When she slid the towel between her legs, Eowyn bit down on her own fingers to keep from crying out. Siobhan rinsed and stepped out, grabbing her own towel and joining Eowyn on the bed.
"Eowyn." Siobhan kissed the woman, taking the time to explore Eowyn's soft mouth and caress her tongue. She ended the kiss only to start it anew, this time, letting her hands stroke Eowyn's warm flesh, cupping her breasts and rubbing the nipples until they were hard points. Eowyn moaned, sinking back into the fluffy goose down mattress and Siobhan sank with her, mouth making a wet trail from the valley between her breasts, over her stomach, then into her pubic forest.
Eowyn gasped as the woman's lips found her inner core, her tongue snaking along the folds and finding the pink pearl that slept beneath her mound. Her pussy rippled and Siobhan answered its silent call, sliding two fingers within. Eowyn screamed as she came, her cunt cream glossing the insides of her thighs. Siobhan just smiled and lowered her mouth, her tongue working around his pistoning digits and lapping up the escaping juices. Eowyn came and came again, each time, jerking with the sweet sensations.
"Now you." Siobhan didn't argue with the young beauty but was quite surprised when Eowyn bypassed her breasts and went straight for her pussy. Eowyn didn't act like a cherry cunt-eater; she attacked Siobhan's slit with the confidence of a regular. She didn't bother with the outer lips; she burrowed deep and sucked the inner lips into her mouth, rolling her tongue over the edges, then stabbed her tongue into the juicy center. Siobhan came apart, howling like a wolf in the moonlight as her body shuddered in response.
Eowyn couldn't get enough of the taste of the woman. She licked and sucked and probed until Siobhan came, plunging her tongue in deep and coating it with cream before beginning it all over again. She loved the sense of control that she had over the warrior, loved the sight of her face as Siobhan relinquished her power. Right then, Eowyn knew that she loved the warrior woman and wanted to be with her forever.
Siobhan pulled Eowyn against her, cuddling with her as they sought the refreshing comfort of sleep. "Siobhan?"
"Will you attend the funeral with me tomorrow?"
Siobhan raised her head and looked down into Eowyn's eyes. "Eowyn, do you know what you're asking?"
"Yes, I do." Eowyn spiraled a curl around her finger, gazing up into Siobhan's eyes. "And I hope that you feel the same."
"As long as you can take my occasional forays, I definitely feel the same."
"Good." Eowyn turned in her lover's arms. "Now, make love to me again."
Siobhan let her hand slide down Eowyn's body, her fingers dipping into her honey pot. "I thought you'd never ask."