by sweetnpetite
Wow! Great story opening. Thanks for the excellent read. ~ Red
Thanks for bringing this story to my attention :) It was interesting and I really liked the way you began, you set the mood very well. I'm hoping to read what happens very soon :D
I loved the story. Great plot and excellent characterizations. You've grown to become a very good writer. I can't wait to read more.
You're becoming a real writer, Sweet. Beautifully done at the fortune teller's. A rushed, tell-y ending made the story feel clipped and kind of incomplete, though. All that wonderful set-up and not much pay-off.
Interesting topic, I wish it had been longer as well. There were a few spelling errors, but the story carried over the usual stops for grammar. Thanks, a good story.
... that grabbed my interest. I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Why did you stop right there? I want to know what happens next. I wanna know, I wanna know.
Is that enough whining to get you writing the rest of it?
Good luck in the contest.
Black Tulip
in spelling, word structure, etc. but not enough to detract too much. Generally well done but rather short.
A few misspellings but they didn't detract from the story. Good luck!
Cookie :)
You done did good girl. I especially admire the way you managed to build suspense in such a short story.
Rumple
I loved the plot and the story. I felt there could be more suspense and buildup but the story did flow well enough to keep interest.
The opening did not grip me and yell "READ ON"
Their/they're/there problem in the first paragraph and a punctuation error or two in the story.