All Comments on 'Mistress and His Christmas pet'

After the first dozen grammar and syntax errors, I stopped reading...and was still on the first page.

Like the other person said, it needs a little work. It's a hot story and a hot premise, but the story needs to be a litte more focused in my opinion.

Danielle = Caleb?

I read it. I read parts of it twice. One section three times.

I have no idea what was going on here. There was some pain and torture stuff and at least two people maybe five or six. One person may have been both a man and a woman possibly with sow kind of mental problem.

I just don't know. I recommend both a hard editing, but also having a second reader help make sure it can be followed and gets your ideas across.

So emotional

One of the worst stories it's been my misfortune to read.