All Comments on 'My Hotel Text'

A short story that needs more detail although I do like the first person narrative.

i feel like there's a lot of potential. it reads fast, like the hot impatience of the sex in it, and I like that. I love that it's told in present tense, but sometimes you slip up and use a verb in past tense, which is off-putting. A little grammatical upkeep would greatly improve it over-all: a comma here or there, that sort of thing. Perhaps a few more details- physical description, sensory words- but don't ruin the fast pace. Maybe add some slower, more reflective details to the waking-up-later part to make the "you're the best thing i've ever had" more authentic. But yeah, over-all, good stuff.