All Comments on 'My One Time with Arlene'

I really like this story. It has the right mix of eroticism, surprise, and one-shot fun between friends that I'm sure many people have felt (or wanted to!).

The main thing I would suggest is dropping the last paragraph. It seems to be simply repeating the feeling of the story, and it deflates the ending a little for me. I think ending it with the experience itself, or maybe the unspoken agreement, would work better, at least for me.

It was great, short but not too short, very descriptive, just enough background about the characters, and her tenderness was nice. The description of it made me feel like I was the guy and the words did all of the work for me instead of me imagining a lot of the scene and the actions.

I disagree with the comment about cutting the last paragraph; it fits with the story. He was surprised it happened so it's like anybody that has something surprising happen, he kept going over it to hopefully make sense of it.

Recently, someone posted an article about writing porn stories. They wished most writers would just get to the sex. That's okay advice for a stroke piece, why read porn for any other reason. But the best writing about sex, can't be classified as porn. It is, in the best sense of the word, eros.

The time it took to get to the payoff, or money-shot, as it were, was well worth the wait. But it was not the only great part to this story.

This was a story about a man in love. Thank goodness he was able to have at least one positive memory from his life with Arlene. It was the love and adoration, not the semen soaked face, that made this story truly erotic.

Weeks past should have been written weeks passed. Other than that, the writing seemed flawless. But the real beauty of the piece is in the story-telling. Well done.

Excellent! It’s relatively hard to write a story this short & still hit all the points of an excellent tale.

In this case it was a well formed story that was hot to read. 🥵

5 stars.

I don’t understand why all the other comments are 10 years or older. I’m glad I found this.

Bill S.