by conanthe
I love your writing - you do a great job with it!!! As always, I eagerly await the next chapter!!!
Only one spelling mistake but a major one. It is a matter of PRINCIPLE with me. You should know that school chief is called PRINCIPAL, not PRINCIPLE!!!
Just loving this series, Can't wait for the next chapter, but will have to...... Please don't leave us too long for the next chapter.
Love the story and hope there is a lot more to come! The humiliating way you dismissed the Aggies was the best statement on the depth of the long rivalry I have ever encountered. I just hope you are a Longhorn and did it on purpose.
Your writing style is definitely improving! There are only two pieces of advice/nitpicks I have:
1. Please spend more time developing character dialogue. It helps if you script those conversations out ahead of time and practice them to find out how the conversation flows. (If you've ever seen the films of Kevin Smith -- Smith is a dialogue writer. Great stuff; it opened my eyes to the necessity for dialogue for the reader to identify with the characters.)
2. When you transition between narrative styles, or character viewpoints, you may want to signify this with either a font change (kind of hard on the eyes after a while, though), or a break line (even something as simple as '-----'). If you're already doing this and Literotica is removing those lines, I apologize -- and Literotica needs to stop doing that.
Otherwise, keep up the great work! For erotic fiction, this is good stuff.