All Comments on 'My Own Heaven Ch. 02'

As much as I liked Chapter 1, I couldn't get passed Keith buying all those clothes for her before they even had a first date. Too stalker creepy for me.

oo la la! This is great writing...sensuous, tantalizing, stimulating...this is what erotic writing is all about!

This author has the goods...just absolutely amazingly seductive...thanks -- take care and be well...hcl ps: I know I will thanks to you.

This is among the best writing I’ve come across on the internet! I’m more interested in the mental, rather than physical, submission and pain--and you carry in through well. She is the kind of willing submissive I love to experience! Jean K.

Really it was 85-90

Really liked that you had detail in the bathroom. Now add color. White marble, walnut armoire, etc. Also try and cut down on repetition. For instance one paragraph has belly three times. Use a variety of words! You're real close to being Super Hot!!! Also, I really liked the enthusiasm of your character. It really comes through...like when she throws herself at him. Keep it up ! Good job! I'm sure to be back and read more.