All Comments on 'My Very First Time!'

don't quit your day job

Lots of exclamation marks!!! Too bad you don't know any other punctuation!!!!!!!!!!! 'Cause yours was terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I didn't know anyone could master bate!!! Bate cannot be mastered!!!!!!

the other comment about too many exclamation points is pretty spot on. on the other hand they were both extremely rude. I recommend rethinking how you show excitement in a story, reading some other stories to examine other writing styles, and getting an editor.

Like I said this was my first story. I didn't put it on here to be published. I just wanted to share my first time like any other people. If you are such a GOOD WRITER show me how to write because you're comments are very rude. I did this for fun not to turn it into a book DUMB ASS! Fuck off my story.

well unlike some morons on here that just do nothing but make cryptic remarks you my love did better than you think for a first time. in fact it was very exciting and the story was great. I love the writing, and miss out what others search for to pull you down. as they say in England to it with a pinch of salt. i am sure you are going to make some of then doubting

Thomas;s every body in life needs to be given a chance.

I hated this story. the only reason I finished it is because I thought it would get better. Try going more in-depth with your writing, and DON'T USE SO MANY EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It sounds like you're yelling all the time and is really annoying! Honestly, it was SO bad that I got excited when you DIDN'T use exclamation marks. And you master bated? that doesn't even make sense, and you spelled it wrong. try reading some other stories so that your readers can enjoy a BETTER STORY!!!!!! :D ;D