Nuclear Response

I knelt and looked up at him as he unbuckled his pants and pulled them down along with his shorts. To my surprise his cock was the largest I've ever seen. It was way bigger than Randy's and that's saying something. I've always thought of Randy as well endowed but Mr. Butcher has a long thick penis that is way bigger than Randy's. He lifted it up and put it to my lips and said "suck." I gently took it in my mouth. It filled me more than I ever have been before. It was enormous. I choked several times as he kept trying to push it all the way in. He continued to stroke his cock in and out until I could feel him tense up. I knew what he was going to do so I prepared myself. When he came I swallowed immediately expecting a huge load but what I got was just a few drops. He had an enormous weapon but small ammunition.

After he came, and with the wave of his hand, he dismissed me. I went into the lounge, got in the shower, curled up on the floor as the water ran over me and cried. That was the first time I cheated on Randy. I just gave my boss a blow job and was torn up inside because although I hated doing it I was worried that somewhere deep down inside, I enjoyed it.

When I got home that night I just stared at Randy as he made supper and wondered what kind of a monster I had become. I just cheated on him. I hated what I did. I hated myself. I went to bed early and cried myself to sleep.

The next day Lloyd called me in his office again. He was standing beside his desk talking on the phone again and he told me to strip. As I stripped he pulled his pants down revealing his huge cock. He motioned for me to come over to his desk and made me face his desk and put my hands on the top. He moved around behind me to where I couldn't see him. I felt his hand rub my pussy; his hand was wet and warm. He must have licked it to make sure I was wet. I felt his body close to mine and something at the entrance to my pussy. He slowly pushed forward and slid his huge cock inside. All I could do was stand there with my mouth open stifling a scream. A little moan did slip out thought.

I have never had a cock inside me as big as his. Feeling it sliding in made me wet and hot. He started slowly stroking in and out and because I was getting aroused I added my own lubrication to his. At no time did he miss a beat in his conversation with whoever he was talking to. I spread my feet further apart and lowered my body to the desk to allow him to get deeper inside. He continued to pound his meat in and out until I felt the start of an orgasm. It took a few minutes but I came harder than I have in a very long time. I had to stifle a scream by putting my face in the crook of my arm and biting down but he just kept up the pounding even after I came. I came a second time just before he tensed and came inside me. He reached forward and put the phone in its cradle and hugged me from behind. His huge cock softened and fell out. When it was all over I showered again, I also cried again because I cheated again and this time had two orgasms. I couldn't help myself.

I know I'm on the road to hell but I can't find an exit ramp.

Over the next couple weeks I gave Lloyd blow jobs when he asked and he fucked me at least ten times. When he would call and tell me to I would undress in my lounge and walk into his office naked. I masturbated and came for him while he watched several times. I was getting more comfortable having sex with him like that even though I still cried afterwards, but I was feeling less and less guilty about what I was doing.

One day he called me into his office and we went into his lounge where he told me to lie on the couch. We fucked for the rest of the afternoon. He came inside me a couple times and I came too many times to count. At the end of the day he left me spread legged on the couch and went home.

The next day at lunch we had sex on the couch again. This time he said he wanted to fuck me from behind. I've never been a big fan of anal sex but when Randy asked I obliged. Now when Lloyd put that monster of a cock in my ass I was in another world altogether, the pain was excruciating but I loved it, I needed it. I never came with a cock in my ass before but I did with him, several times. Again at the end of the day he left me spread legged on the couch and went home, this time I was face down with a well used asshole.

We had sex of all sorts, in every position, and in every hole. I didn't have very much work to do so I had plenty of time to do whatever he wanted.

One day I went into his office and there was that internal auditor Carl Cashman. Lloyd said that he was telling Carl how wonderful my blow jobs were and I was to demonstrate by giving him one. I was more than flabbergasted. I agreed to have sex with Lloyd to save my ass from something that really didn't happen but I never agreed to be with anybody else. When I refused he told Carl to leave and come back in an hour. When we were alone again he didn't yell or threaten. He simply went over to his TV and put in a DVD and pressed play. The screen showed the two of us having sex on the couch in his lounge a couple days before. I could see my face clearly and it showed how much I was enjoying his thrusts. I could hear my screams as I came loudly. He said that he recorded every encounter between the two of us since we started and he would send the videos to my husband and my parents and have them distributed in the staff lounge if I didn't give Carl a blow job when he returned. I had no choice so when he returned I did. Carl had an average sized cock and it took no time at all to make him come. I don't remember if I cried or felt guilty about cheating on Randy. By then I was numb.

That was the start of Lloyd sharing me with others. Since that day I've given blow jobs to two other executive managers (Mr. Jenkins and Mr. Schmidt) and the head of sales (Peter Kensington.) I also had sex with Charles Hawkins (the head of accounting) bent over Lloyd's desk while he watched.

Lloyd told me that my duties had changed. In the future I would be available to any of the executive managers by appointment. I was to do whatever they wanted the same as with him. I would still be available to him whenever he wanted (without an appointment.) I was also to go with the management team on appointments and meetings and satisfy potential customers. I was to do whatever anybody wanted with anybody they wanted.

I was now officially a whore.

Well, that brings everything up to date. The reason for this journal entry is to document the events that led up to my becoming the Thompson company whore. From now on I'll try to write down everything I do and who I do it with. Maybe I can get out of this mess some day by using this record.

God, I'm sorry for what I'm doing to Randy. I know what he would do if he ever found out; he would divorce me and take Jana away from me. He would probably want to kill Lloyd too. I would be very lucky if that's all he did because Randy has a very strict and conservative moral code and I've violated it in a hundred ways. I hate myself for hurting him but I couldn't help it. I trusted Lloyd and he lied to me. I was manipulated and I was too dumb to see where I was headed. I'm in so deep now I can't even see the top of the hole.

I know that what I'm doing is very, very wrong but I just can't help myself. I can't stop. If I do then I could be hurting the two people that I love more than any other in the world; Randy and Jana. I don't care what would happen to me I just don't want them hurt.

Please God help me and find a way to forgive me.

********

I closed the journal and sat there on the bed. I didn't realize until right then that my shirt front was wet. The tears were still falling as I threw the journal across the room crashing into our wedding picture. My jaw was clenched and my fists balled up and shaking. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kill that mother fucker Butcher. I wanted to strangle Jenni. At the same time I wanted to die.

Somehow, without thinking about it, I got up from the bed and made my way to the bathroom. The peanut butter and banana sandwich came back up violently. The only saving grace was that bananas taste the same coming up as going down. After my guts were empty I stuck my head in the shower and turned on the cold water. It had no affect clearing my head or making my pain easier but at least the vomit was off of my face.

I went back into the bedroom and picked up the journal and straightened the picture that I knocked over. I held the picture of Jenni in her wedding gown and thought how beautiful she was. Her beautiful long black hair was piled up on top of her head for the wedding but normally it flowed straight down her back. She had the sweetest smile with deep pools on each side that the word 'dimples' couldn't describe adequately. People have always compared her to Princess Diana with her regal nose and wide set eyes. I just thought that she was the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I touched her face behind the broken glass and set the frame back down.

I sat on the bed and opened the book to read some more. The phone rang.

"Hello Mr. Brooks, this is Wendy at James Street Elementary. Jana is here in the office waiting for you to pick her up. Kindergarten was over thirty minutes ago. We were worried when you didn't show up. Is everything all right?"

I looked down at my watch and cursed silently. "Yes, I just lost track of time. I'll be there in ten minutes. Thanks."

I tossed the journal on the pile of stuff that we needed for the weekend and grabbed the corners of the bed spread and lifted. I looked like some sort of a bargain basement Santa as I carried everything out to the car and dropped it in the trunk. As promised, in ten minutes I was walking into the James Street Elementary school.

Jana was sitting in a chair with her arms crossed looking quite mad. When she saw me come in, for a moment she gave me an angry sideways look, but her face softened and she ran to me and gave me the most wonderful hug. She didn't see the tear that fell on her back as she did.

The drive to mom's house usually takes only an hour by using the highways but I wanted to review what I just read and think about what I should do, so I took back roads the whole way. When I arrived Jana was asleep so I carried her up to the spare bedroom and told mom that I was going to start on the list of jobs. Ever since dad died I was the one that did mom's little maintenance jobs that she couldn't do by herself. I really just wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

I worked well into the night. Mom brought me dinner in the middle of the backyard where I was cutting limbs out of her maple tree. All the time I thought about what I read. I was broken hearted. I had to stop work several times to wipe away the tears. I only read one entry dated 11 months ago but thought that if this started way back then how far has it gone? What more devastating news about my wife would I discover when I read the rest? I was in no hurry to find out that my life was over, if my marriage was over. Well after dark mom came out and sat next to me on the picnic table.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently.

All I could do was look at her in the dim light. Like a six year old whose favorite puppy just died I fell into her arms and cried. I didn't cry tears of a grown man but tears of a little boy that wanted his mommy to make things all right again. I cried on her shoulder and she held me and patted my head.

After crying on her shoulder for much too long I sat up and wiped my face. I looked down at the ground and said, "Mom, I just found out something about Jenni, something that makes me believe we can't be together any more. It's bad mom, real bad. I don't know what to do. Right now I want to kill her but I love her too much. I just can't stand idly by and let things continue like they are. I've got to do something, I just don't know what. I know I've got to be a man and do what I need to do but I don't know if I've got the strength. It's really a mess mom."

My mother has always had a serenity and wisdom about her. Usually wisdom comes with age but she's always had it. For some reason when everybody was running around like crazy screaming and hollering she was calm and serene. She always knew what to say in every situation to make things better. I've always trusted whatever she said. She looked up into my eyes and said what I knew to be right. She said, "Randy, I've always believed that you were a good man, maybe better than you think you are. If you say that you have a problem with Jenni then I believe you have it within yourself to fix it. You may have to forgive her for whatever it was she did or your may have to cut your losses and run. Either way I know you can and will do the right thing. Just remember two things. First, don't do anything that would hurt that little girl of yours. Jana is a wonderful child and she needs her father. Second, I'll always be here for you, I've got your back if you need."

I paused to think about what she said. I knew it had deeper meaning than just the words she used so that meant I would have one more thing to think about this weekend.

"Thanks mom. I knew I could count on you to tell your little boy to be a man. I'll do what I have to and I promise Jana won't be hurt."

We walked arm in arm through the dark back yard to the house. She went into the living room and I went to check on Jana.

March 15, 2008 (Saturday)

I didn't sleep much, maybe a few minutes here and there, so that's why I felt like shit as I sat on the edge of the bed watching the sun come up through the window. I could smell mom's fried apples drawing me down to breakfast so I got up, cleaned up, and went downstairs.

"Morning," I said.

"Good morning. I won't ask how you slept because I could hear you tossing and turning all night. Just eat your breakfast. You'll figure it out."

"Thanks mom. Oh, after I finish my work today can you watch Jana for a little while? I want to walk back to the old grotto. I won't do anything stupid; I promise I'll be back. I just want to be alone for a while and think. That's all."

"OK but you be careful. I don't want to have to go back there and drag you home like after your father's viewing. Just relax and do what you have to do. Jana and I will have a wonderful day."

It was just after lunch time that I finished all of the little jobs on the list and then a few more that I found to do. Mom and Jana had gone grocery shopping so I grabbed Jenni's journal and a couple beers out of the fridge and started walking toward the woods.

When I was a kid I used to go back to the edge of the grotto to be by myself when the weight of the world was on me. When I was growing up it was my safe harbor, a place where I could think and make decisions. Sometimes my best friend and I would sit on the edge for hours and hours and talk about what we planned to do when we grew up. Life seemed to look better when you were staring down into a 150 foot hole.

I sat with my back against a rock and looked out over the edge. It hadn't changed much since the last time I was here, just after my father's funeral. I took a long drink of one of the beers and opened the journal.

The entries after the first added nothing to what I already knew or helped with the dilemma that I was in. She gave names of the men she had sex with and what she did and how many times. For the most part they were dry and emotionless but once in a while she expressed how wonderful something felt or how much fun she had. She still sounded remorseful when she wrote about me though. As the entries went along, the writing seemed to become more and more relaxed, more matter of fact. The things she did however were absolutely amazing. I came to one entry and read.

Journal Entry Dated October 20, 2007 (Saturday)

This past week was absolutely, fucking amazing. I would have never believed I had it in me to do what I did, but I did. Well, let's see, where to begin? OK, Friday a week ago Lloyd said that we were going to go around and deliver the fiscal year end bonuses to the salesmen in the region. Every day we were going to drive to a different branch office and meet with the sales staff. I was to dress extra nice for the meetings.

On Monday we went to the western region branch office. We met with the four salesmen (Jim Grey, Pauli Sandusky, Melvin Mockabee, John?) and the department sales manager (Norman Grey). Lloyd told them how proud he was that they were the top producing branch this year and he was there to deliver their bonuses. He said that this year there was an added bonus. He said that every one of them could spend two hours in a hotel room with me in addition to the check he handed them. They could do whatever they wanted. As a little incentive he had me stand and strip to the waist. All but one of the men was salivating like a pack of dogs as I stood there bare-chested. He encouraged the men to sample their bonus by touching what they saw, but no more. The rest of me was reserved for later on that day. All but one came up and squeezed my breasts and played with my nipples. Lloyd had the men worked up in frenzy.

When he told me to get dressed again the one man that didn't want to participate was gone. Lloyd gave me a key and said to go to the hotel and wait. An hour later the first man came and we fucked like rabbits. I only came two times but he was a great fuck. He left and the next man arrived a while later. He was a bit shy and all I did was give him a blow job and talk. After he left the third man showed up and I sucked and fucked him like I never have anybody before. His cock was almost as big as Lloyd's, but not quite. I had at least three orgasms. When he left I was sure I couldn't cum any more and then the department sales manager showed up. I guess that's what it means to be a manager. He managed to fuck my ass for over an hour before he left inside me what seemed like a gallon of cum. The stuff continued to leak out for the rest of the day. He was the first man to show me what ass-to-mouth meant. I was a bit horrified the first time he took his cock out of my ass and put it in my mouth but it became no big deal after three or four more times, it just became part of what we did. When I cleaned him up after he came in my ass I tasted both his fluids and my own. I was surprised; it didn't taste like shit at all. It tasted musky, somewhat like sweat.

I was an exhausted woman when Lloyd came back to the room that evening. Of course I fucked him before we drove home.

On Tuesday we went to the southern region branch office. Their sales manager (Sid Green) and the four salesmen (Eric Green, Ian Stone, Leroy Johnson, Sam Shadusky) met with Lloyd and me and we went through the same routine. Lloyd gave out the checks and I stripped to the waist while they played with my tits. Afterwards all five of them took turns fucking me in our hotel room. They didn't show up one at a time like the guys on Monday. They all showed up and I took turns fucking someone while sucking another. When one came inside me another took his place and the spent man got ready for the next round. Oh, and Leroy was the first black man that I ever fucked. I've heard all the rumors that black men are supposed to be well hung but he was just average sized. Randy is bigger than him.

I was too tired to perform for Lloyd when he came back to the room so he just jerked off and came on me before helping me in and out of the shower. When we drove home I slept the entire way.

On Wednesday we went to the central region branch office. There was a major shock in store for me there. The office consisted of two men (Hiram Leibowitz, Evan Mann) and two women (Lynn Teasdale, Sandra Miller) and the sales manager was also a woman (Mona Johnson). Lloyd made the same presentation as he did the previous two days. This time I felt a bit awkward standing there topless in front of three other women. I did it but I still felt weird. I went back to the hotel room wondering if the women would show up. The first person at the door was the sales manager. She said that Lloyd told her that I had never been with a woman before so she volunteered to teach me. I spent the next two hours learning how to kiss another woman, how to caress and suck a woman's breasts, how to use my fingers on their pussy and their ass, and how to lick every bit of energy out of their bodies by eating them and making them cum. She was kind and patient with me. In the end she said I had a talented mouth and when I licked her pussy it was like no other woman she had ever been with. She left me a $100 tip. The next to show up was one of the other saleswomen and I used on her what I had just learned and she left very satisfied. She too left me a $100 tip. The other saleswoman arrived and she just wanted to eat me. I didn't have to do anything to her she was just enamored with my pussy. She even put a finger up my ass as she licked. I had one incredible orgasm when she did that. I got another $100 when she left. After the last saleswoman left the two men showed up and I fucked them both at the same time, one in my pussy and the other in my ass. They took great delight in switching places. I've had two men in me at the same time before and usually I had one or two orgasms, but with these two I didn't cum at all. They left a $100 tip and went away with big smiles on their faces. Cheap skates!