Nuclear Response

Capitulation

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.  Jeannette Rankin

March 19, 2008 (Wednesday)

Jenni drove me home and helped me to get into bed. I had a broken arm, broken jaw, two broken ribs and several bruises and scrapes and I needed all the help I could get. I just didn't want it to be her. Hell I hadn't seen her since she was on her knees in front of Butcher with his cock in her mouth. She showed up to take me home without a word where she's been for the last two days, I didn't ask either, and I didn't care any more. I didn't say a word to her and she didn't say anything to me. She just looked sad.

I couldn't talk and I couldn't eat. I just laid there and listened to my mother's voice in my head saying to not do something stupid. I did and look where it got me. Jenni avoided me when she was home and little Jana helped whenever I asked for something to drink.

March 22, 2008 (Saturday)

I was able to get around by myself a bit and moved to the living room. Around 6 o'clock the front door opened and Jenni walked in. Closely behind her were the same two guards that danced all over me and then Butcher.

Butcher held out a small gift bag and placed it next to the chair where I was sitting.

"It's just a small get well present. I don't want my favorite employee to feel that we're neglecting her little husband. It's some DVD's for you to look at while you're incapacitated. I know you'll enjoy watching them, almost as much as we enjoyed making them."

Jenni just looked at the floor as he stood over me gloating.

"Jenni dear, would you please go into the kitchen and get me something to drink, my throat is awfully dry. And stay in there until I call you. Oh, now don't worry; we're only going to talk. Now go on."

Jenni left and Butcher pulled up the coffee table and sat down.

"OK Randy, you don't mind if I call you Randy do you? Well Randy here's what's going to happen from now on. Jenni is going to continue working for me. She's going to do what she did before but since you now know I can expand her duties a bit. Before she only fucked people during work hours. Now she can work in the evenings and on weekends too. If I call and tell her to go somewhere, she will go. If I tell her she's to work the weekend, she will work the weekend. If she is to travel for business, then she travels. If you make one bit of trouble then, well you know what happened before. It may happen again. It may happen to someone else too. Just be quiet, live your life like the worm husband you are and don't make waves. I get real mad when someone makes waves. You don't want me to get mad now do you?"

I didn't say a word. I just glared back at him with all the hate I could muster.

"Good, we understand one another. Now is there anything you want to say to me before we go?"

The bandage around my jaw didn't make talking very easy but I managed. "Yeah, but your two goons there prevent me from speaking my mind."

"Oh, don't worry about them. They won't do anything, this time. So speak up my boy."

"OK, here's what I have to say, a quote that seems appropriate. I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who had done the wrong."

Butcher and his goons just stood there looking at me like I was a monster from outer space. Then he smiled and said, "Ah the little worm is a bookworm too. Just say what you want to say in plain English."

"What I'm saying shithead is that I'm going to get you one day. I'm going to get everybody. I'm going to make you all pay for what you did to Jenni and what you put me through. So if I were you I'd be constantly looking over my shoulder. Mark my word; I'm going to nuke you and everybody in your little sex company. Everyone's going to pay and pay dearly. And there will be one hell of a lot of collateral damage. Mark my words."

"And just how do you plan to accomplish this? A pussy like you can't even protect his own wife let alone take revenge on hundreds of people. You're all talk, asshole. Jenni, come back in here."

Jenni came back in the room and sat down.

"It seems like your little hubby wants to play the hero. He wants to protect you and make sure bad men like me get their just rewards. It's all bullshit of course but I just want to tell you that your work hours have expanded. We'll talk about the details tomorrow but suffice it to say that Randy here is going to be sleeping alone a lot from now on. Now, go get ready, you have an appointment at the Crown Plaza at nine. A client of ours from Detroit is in town for the weekend and I promised him you'd visit. Dress nice. He's an important client. Now go."

Jenni looked sadly at me and turned and went upstairs.

Butcher smiled and patted me on the head as he and his two goons left.

An hour later Jenni walked in the room looking beautiful but sad. "I have to go. I don't know when I'll be back. Randy, I'm really sorry things got like this. I never expected our lives to turn out like they did. I love you and never want to see you hurt. I know you are hurting beyond belief and for that I'll be eternally sorry. I know you want to leave and can't so I'll try to bargain with Lloyd to see if you can get away and take Jana with you. I'll do whatever I have to even if it means whoring for him on the streets. I don't know if I can make it work but I'll try. Please don't do anything until I see what I can do. Please, for my sake. I don't want to watch them hurt you again. Just wait."

She turned to leave and stopped. She turned around and asked, "Randy, what was that quote you said to Lloyd? What did you mean?"

I just looked sadly from the little bag of DVD's beside the chair up to her face looking her square in the eyes and said, "It's a quote from Edgar Allan Poe, the story is 'The Cask of Amontillado.' What it means is that I'm going to get my revenge on everyone that has wronged me. It will be swift and devastating. And nobody will ever know what I did."

She just stared at me for the longest time. Tears welled up in her eyes knowing full well that I meant her as well.

"I want you to know that I still love you," she said. "I hope that when this is all over we can try to get back to a normal life as husband and wife. I know the healing will be difficult but I want you and me to be 'us' again. I believe we can, I hope so at least."

She bowed her head as she turned and left.

She didn't come home that night. And many nights following that night she didn't come home.

March 25, 2008 (Tuesday)

The little bag full of DVDs that Butcher brought me was still sitting next to the chair. I had no interest in seeing her in action. I already knew from her journal what she did; I didn't need to see it. She told me she did it against her will. She told me she enjoyed what she did. She told me she was sorry for hurting me. She asked me not to do anything and just wait until she sorted things out. She said she was a whore. She cheated. She lied. She hurt me.

But, I didn't care any more, I was past caring. I just wanted for her to hurt as much as I did. I just wanted everybody involved to pay. I wanted my revenge. I couldn't think of anything else but revenge. Going back to the way we were was impossible.

I calmly got up and took the bag of DVDs and hid them in the back of my bedroom closet. I wanted them out of my sight. But I thought I might need them later.

April 27, 2008 (Sunday)

My broken bones had almost healed; at least I was no longer wearing a bandage on my chin so I could eat normal food with only a little discomfort. The cast will come off my arm in a few days.

Jenni staggered in about 6 o'clock this morning and fell into bed exhausted. She didn't even bother to take her clothes off. She's been doing that a lot lately. I just closed her bedroom door. I think she spent more time away from home now than at home. I noticed these things and logged the pattern of her activities because I was still planning what to do.

I had a kernel of a plan in mind. It would take out all of those responsible for my pain all at once, even Jenni. This will be my own nuclear response. I needed to find out one more thing before I set everything in motion.

I knew in my heart that Jenni was simply the victim in this but I didn't care anymore. Maybe Butcher was responsible for getting her into the mess in the first place but she was equally responsible for continuing to do the things he wanted. It seemed to me that she grew to want it as much as he did and chose her life at work over her life at home. That made any chance of forgiving her or staying with her impossible. I just wanted to get as far away from her as I could.

********

It was almost sundown and I was enjoying a beautiful spring day sitting in the backyard in Jana's swing set when Jenni came out the back door.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," I replied.

She walked over and sat on the little picnic table next to the swing set.

"I haven't seen you in a while," she said. "I've been very busy lately. I'm really sorry about everything. I really messed up our lives. I miss you and Jana. I think about the both of you all the time now. I know you don't give a rat's ass about me but I still care about you. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get you out of this mess but Lloyd insists that we pretend to be a happily married couple. I think he's just being a dick because he can be. How are you holding up?"

I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to be near her. I just wished she would go away and I could get on with my life, apart from her and that damned company, but I still felt something for her.

"I'll survive," I muttered. "Can I ask you a question? Have you kept up the journal I read? It's important for me to know but I can't tell you why right now."

"Uh, yes I have the best I could. Some times I don't remember things too clearly or I don't get a person's name. But I write in it whenever I can."

"Do you still keep it in the same place? I won't go looking for it I just want to know in case something happens and I need names and dates."

"Yes, it's under the nightstand in my bedroom."

"OK, that's all. Would you like something to eat?"

She looked at me for a moment and then put her hands over her face. She started crying. "I'm sorry," she said. "But that's the first normal thing you've said to me since you found out. Yes, I would love something to eat."

We ate together as a family for the first time in over a month. Jana and Jenni talked and I just sat quietly. One dinner doesn't make us a family again. We were just three people that shared the same house and for a moment the same table.

It won't be like that forever.

April 28, 2008 (Monday)

I sat alone in my bed reviewing my plan. It was perfect and sure to do everything I wanted. All I had to do was be patient and not waver from the path once it was set in motion.

My plan would allow me to be free of Jenni without worrying about Butcher. It would leave her behind to suffer the consequences of her actions. It would allow me to take Jana and move far away and start over again. It will also make all of those that took advantage of her suffer. The suffering would be monumental.

I picked up the phone and made a call.

May 7, 2008 (Wednesday)

Jenni came home from work looking as she usually did those days, well fucked. Her hair was a mess and her makeup was all over the place. Sometimes she came home with her clothes buttoned wrong or torn. One time she came home without her blouse, she said she lost it somewhere. She just waved at me and went up to her room. In a few minutes she was in the shower. I never moved - I just sat patiently in the living room.

A few minutes later she came down the stairs. I got up and walked over to her and said, "Butcher called while you were in the shower and left you a message. He said you were to go to the Hilton on Parkway and see a friend of his named Manny. The next time you talk to that son-of-a-bitch tell him that I'm not his fucking messenger boy. If he wants you to go somewhere he'll have to talk to you himself. From now on, I'm out of the loop."

I handed her the message written on a little piece of paper and went back to my chair. Jenni turned around and went back upstairs.

Thirty minutes later she was dressed and out the door. She didn't say a word.

I sat in the living room in the dark and cried thinking about what I had done. The beer didn't help.

May 24, 2008 (Saturday)

I could hear the retching all the way in the kitchen. Jenni was in the bathroom upstairs throwing up breakfast. A few minutes later she came in the room.

"Randy, I'm sick. I mean really sick. I've got a fever, my throat hurts and I ache all over. I think I've got the flu that's going around. If I do then I'll be miserable for a couple days and then it will be over. I don't want Jana or you to get it so please stay away. Can you get me something for my throat and some Tylenol, please? I can't go out or to work like this so I'll just stay in bed until it's gone."

"Go back to bed, I can take care of Jana and I'll get you something."

She went upstairs and I took Jana out for an ice cream and a visit to the pharmacy.

May 30, 2008 (Friday)

I got up to go to take Jana to school and go to work like I usually do and found that Jenni had already left. This was the first time she's been out of the house since last weekend. Obviously her flu was gone or she wouldn't have gone to work. But maybe Butcher called and reminded her that she wasn't keeping everybody happy down at the office and she just had to work through whatever she had. Whatever, I just had to keep doing what I was supposed to do and act like the devoted husband. I didn't want to land in the hospital again, or worse.

December 25, 2008 (Thursday)

Summer and fall had come and gone. Jenni was working harder than ever, sometimes away from home for days at a time. She was looking thinner and more haggard every time I saw her. We rarely spoke to one another. Whenever she could Jenni would take our little girl to the park or shopping or anywhere they could be together. She always came back with a smile.

We celebrated a very quiet Christmas. Jana didn't notice any difference because Santa brought her the Barbie doll she wanted; and Barbie's house, and Barbie's Corvette, and Ken. Jana was in Barbie heaven.

I told Jenni that I didn't want anything from her but she gave me an expensive gold pen and pencil set anyway. I didn't get her anything.

In the afternoon Jana and I went over to mom's for dinner. Jenni wasn't welcome at her house any more so she stayed home. Mom knew everything that was happening and now she refused to even talk to Jenni. I think if she could mom would strangle her.

We had a lovely dinner and mom gave Jana Barbie's best friend Skipper.

Detonation

Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. J. Robert Oppenheimer

February 13, 2009 (Friday)

I was working at my desk doing the incredibly boring task of updating the course catalog on the company web site when there was a knock at my office door. I looked up and saw a man that I had never seen before.

"Mister Brooks? Mister Randolph Brooks?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm Randy. What can I do for you?"

"I'm detective Archer from the state police. Is your wife Jennifer Brooks?"

"Yes, what's this all about?"

"Sir, I regret to inform you that your wife has been killed. Now we don't know all the details but I can tell you what we do know on the way to the hospital. You need to come with me now."

I just sat there and looked at him. I'm sure I looked like an idiot but I didn't know what to do or say. I tried to stand but couldn't. I reached for the phone but didn't know how to operate it. The detective put his hand out and on top of mine on the useless phone.

"Sir, I'm sorry for your loss but you need to come with me. Can I call someone for you or tell someone here?"

"Uh, yeah, I need to tell my boss. Uh, I need to call someone to pick up my daughter at school. Oh shit, I can't..."

Somehow between the two of us I informed my boss of my problem and got a neighbor to pick up Jana. The detective walked me out to his car and drove to the hospital. On the way he told me what he knew.

"Mister Brooks I'm sure this will be hard to hear but it seems that your wife's boss killed her as she sat at her desk. According to witnesses he assaulted from behind with a large heavy object. He struck her over and over before some of the other employees pulled him off. She never regained consciousness. She died on the way to the hospital. We don't have a motive yet but the building was sealed and detectives are trying to find out the details. You wouldn't have any information that could help our investigation would you?"

I just sat quietly watching the buildings pass thinking of how I was going to tell Jana.

When we arrived at the hospital I wasn't required to view Jenni's body. I was more than a little afraid I would have to do that. There were enough witnesses to what happened that they had a positive identification from the scene. I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork pertaining to the disposition of her remains when the police released her body. I noticed that I used the pen that she gave me for Christmas to sign the papers. After everything was completed I tossed the pen in the trash and just sat in the waiting room staring at General Hospital on the television.

The detective drove me back to work where I picked up my car and drove home. Along the way I picked up Jana. I made her dinner and put her to bed before calling mom and telling her about Jenni.

I sat in the living room with a beer and stared at nothing. I felt nothing.

February 16, 2009 (Monday)

I took off of work to arrange for Jenni's cremation. Mom went with me because I wasn't sure if I could do it by myself. Mom moved in Saturday and has been taking care of Jana and me. She said that she was going to stay until things got back to normal.

I really never intended for Jenni to die like that. I only planned to get away from her and for her to suffer in public as much as I suffered in private. I'll have to live with her death on my conscience for the rest of my life.

When I got back home I just went to bed and slept. For the first time since I found out I slept peacefully. I didn't dream about anything.

February 18, 2009 (Wednesday)

I grabbed a couple boxes and headed upstairs and started packing up Jenni's bedroom. About half way through I found Jenni's journal, again. I scanned it quickly to see if there was any reference to me knowing about her or Butcher's forcing us to live like a normal couple. There wasn't anything but entries about her fucking and sucking. I reached into my pocket and pulled out detective Archer's card and picked up the phone.

"Archer here," the terse voice said on the other end of the phone.

"Hello detective Archer this is Randy Brooks. I just found something that might be important in the investigation of Jenni's death. It's a journal that she kept. I read part of it but I can't describe what I read. You've got to see it to believe it."

"As a matter of fact Mister Brooks I was going to call you. We've had a couple major things happen in the investigation and I need to talk to you. Is it OK if I come by your house this afternoon, say around two?"

"That's fine, I'll be here."

********

I answered the door at 2:15. "Hello, detective Archer this is my mother Marie Brooks. Thank you for coming over. Let's go into the living room."