All Comments on 'Nursing The Enemy Ch. 02'

by SylviaG

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  • 11 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
It still rings of a teenage girl living in some

romance novel she is reading. It is unrealistic and skips back and forth to much. It makes the nurse appear to be out of her mind. The "patient" is not an alpha male, he is an overgrown twelve year old boy with fantasies of being all to women. His intention of course is to take the second wife away from her husband and she the silly cow is making it possible. When people tell her she should not be doing something, her husband, her friend, and she does it any way, it simply shows her immaturity at not listening to those that care for her. Of course, what she is doing is immoral and unprofessional and may eventually cause her to lose her job and her professeinal certification. Of course, her husband has already in his words told her that her marriage is at stake. How do you get a woman with the hormones and mental ability of a thirteen year old to realize she isnt the center of the world?

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Pathetic writing

Without a doubt, the worst story ever on this site!

Tearsofsorrow2Tearsofsorrow2over 15 years ago
No redeeming qualities

In any of the characters. The husband promotes her attitude with their fantasy fucks. Anyone would know that spending time with someone who had harmed their spouse is wrong. She should get a transfer but then there would be no story. She is a weak woman who will not fight for her marriage and her husband is a wimp who will not put a stop to what is going on. Just another pathetic ride.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
I believe it's called flow of concioness or some

shit like that. You really shouldn't take drugs when you are writing. All I can say is that the entire disaster must be a private joke or soimething. Please don't write anything else...I'm begging you. The editors have enought to do with out crap like you deficate

Southwest_FlyerSouthwest_Flyerover 15 years ago
Really bad

I have heard of authors having stories rejected by the site because they were really bad. I have to wonder WTF they wrote,if your's was accepted. I gave you a second chance and read todays submission. I'm outta here.

roadbirdroadbirdover 15 years ago
hubby

might as well kick her sorry ass out right now....she has already cheated on him ....and what the fuck is letting a man who she knows is a player that ran off with her hubbys first wife watch her rub her cunt and take her panties off....maybe he should just walk in one day and take a picture then sue paul the prick and get his building back for raping his now wife in his hospital room by disrobing her...i would think hed have paul by the balls and if not it should be easy to just get them and pull them out about a foot and get him to write and agree that he has been feeding her drugs for a long time and planned on seducing her while she was drugged .....his signature on anything like that would get his hospital room moved to a jail cell ...which paul deserves and daves wife deserves a nice divorce where all she gets is to keep her job and move out on her own and find someone who respects her asshe did her hubby which means they dont

JADED_ONE1969JADED_ONE1969over 15 years ago
A woman who is on a roller coaster and knows she

will fall off. but will do nothing about it. I can see you are making the husband out to be some sort of pervert. The wife has lied already. Of course she is goign to cheat on her husband. That is what she does. Sorry no sympathy for anyone here. If anyone cares the story will end up wiht the husband or soon to be ex-husband finding out that she has been shagging the paitent for the past six months. Probably she will end up pregnant and they will both live happily ever after. The husband might as well leave now. No point beating about the bush.

Tearsofsorrow2Tearsofsorrow2over 15 years ago
Bright side

I will show the bright side of this story. Reading the commentaries is very entertaining.

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 15 years ago
Enough

I suppose that lack of scene transitions is intended to make the story "edgy." Mostly, it disrupts the flow of the story since there's no telling when the old scene ends and the new one begins. Moreover, there's little clue to who is in the upcoming scene. It makes the plot, what little there is of one, hard to follow. The constant splashing of sex throughout the scenes raises the stroke value of the tale but does little to improve its literary quality.

<P>

I probably won't waste any more time on this which is why I choose to comment now rather than wait until the end as I usually do. The erotic value of the story is lessened by the chaotic nature of the storytelling. The loose wife playing games with her husband and with his worst enemy has potential but it's lost in the stream-of-consciousness storytelling.

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The lack of conflict in the threadbare plot neuters the narrative drive of the tale. As the scene transitions become more and more cumbersome, it gets more and more difficult to continue. I decided it wasn't worth it.

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The characterizations are tolerable but there's no development. They're the same people now as they were at the start of the story. They're vaguely interesting but nothing more.

<P>

Thank you for your effort.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Have Read

A couple of your stories, they had some serious erotica but than went over the falls in a barrel to wreck and ruin. This one I can't take from the start, problem with your stories is no one in them I really liked, same here. Don't care what you dreamed up for hubbie, slut wife and the asshole I won't come along on your voyage, man overboard!

JBEdwardsJBEdwardsover 5 years ago
Wow

So I read the story, thought it was excellent and hot both, and then I read the ten comments, and clearly I live on a different planet than that of the commentators. I guess the author's big mistake was to post the story in loving wives. You see, loving wives is not about wives who love and care for their husbands. No, what the readers want is wives who fit a truly conventional, idealized and dated mode, that inscribes the wives as dutiful servants of the male patriarchy. Well, good for you, Sylvia G, for writing a great story. Next time post it in a different rubric!

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