Perspectives Series: Martin

We were standing in the bar area. Simon leaned in,

"I can't believe it's this crowded on a Wednesday."

"Yeah, strange. The restaurant doesn't look that busy, though. Do you want to just grab a table?"

"Yeah, let's do that." Simon agreed.

We walked to the hostess and she escorted us toward the dining area. I couldn't believe my eyes. There they were: Jason and Teresa. They were just finishing dinner. I finally caught them. I peeled off from the hostess' lead and approached their table. Simon hesitated for a moment and then followed behind me, motioning to the hostess to just put the menus down on the table.

"Well, hello there. How are you doing?" I cheerfully said as we approached them. Teresa's face dropped as the color drained from her skin.

Jason stood up and I held out my hand to shake his.

"Oh, hey, Martin." We shook hands. His eyes were wide and this worried me. I wanted to just put his mind at ease about it so he wouldn't get scared and run.

"Hey, sit down. We don't want to interrupt your dinner."

Jason abruptly sat backward and shot a glance at Teresa. "I owe you..."

"You don't owe me anything, Jason. As much business as we've done together." I interrupted. "Just think of this as another business deal. If you're happy, I'm happy. I will say, though that she should probably move in with you now. I mean, it's only fitting."

Jason nodded and swallowed. "Yeah, that would be..."

"Alright, then. We have a table waiting for us and we're starving. Have a good evening."

I turned around and Simon followed suit. We walked to the table and sat down. Out of my peripheral vision I could see Jason and Teresa getting up from the table and departing the restaurant. Simon looked at me.

"What the fuck was that?"

I shrugged. I didn't feel anything. I knew I didn't care about Teresa anymore, but I had waited for that moment for months. I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. Part of me worried that it wouldn't be the end. That Jason would walk away from Teresa. The other part of me knew by his expression that he wasn't prepared to do that. Regardless of what Jason decided to do, I was free to end it without guilt or consequences. Why am I not happier about this?

"I have to go to the restroom. Can you order me another drink when the waitress comes?"

"Sure," I replied. I want to call Jill.

I talked to Jill very briefly on the phone. I don't know how I expected her to react. She was surprised. That's normal. Then she just seemed distracted. She didn't act like it was a very big deal. I'm finally free to be with her and she just acted like I told her the Royals won a game.

The waitress came and I ordered drinks. Simon appeared from the restroom.

"Hey, I asked Jill and Jessie to join us after they finish dinner. They're just around the corner at Cheesecake Factory."

"Yeah, I called Jess, too. I doubt they will. Jess is pretty tired."

I nodded.

"Martin, were you surprised?"

"No. I told you I knew she was seeing someone. I thought it was Jason, I wasn't sure. I don't give a shit. The sooner she moves out, the better."

Simon nodded. "Are you...and Jill going to...move in together?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I've asked before and she said no, so I'm a little gun shy about asking, you know?"

"Yeah, but things have changed."

"What has changed?"

Simon sat back and shrugged, "Isn't your relationship a little more serious now?"

"Yes and no."

Simon sat there waiting for me to continue but I didn't. I didn't feel like rehashing the whole thing for him. Instead, we continued to drink until we shared a cab home. The cab driver dropped him off at Jessie's, and I went to my empty house. I didn't call Jill.

The next morning was strange. I didn't have my car and I was living alone for the first time in years. I had no way of getting to work and I had a meeting at 10. I waited until after 8 to call Simon and then got dressed. I heard faint noises coming from the kitchen. Teresa was in the house.

She was making a pot of coffee and her back was to the doorway. I startled her as I walked around the corner. Her hands started trembling and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Martin." Who said I was hurt?

I nodded.

"You know how much I want to have children and we tried, but...it didn't work out, so...then Jason was there, and we sort of...I don't know. I didn't do it on purpose, it just sort of happened. Jason is a decent man, Martin. He would never...I mean, we are going to get married; we love each other."

"It's okay. You need to do what makes you happy. I'll be fine."

Teresa wiped her eyes. I was ruining her big Oscar winning moment with my distant politeness. She had a big scene planned, I could tell from the tears.

"Will you be able to move out today?" I asked her. No sense in beating around the bush. Anyway, Simon was on his way and I didn't have time for chit-chat.

"Yes, I can, if you want."

"The sooner the better."

"What about the car?"

"You can keep the Beamer. I bought it for you, anyway. Your name is on the title. Is there anything else you want?"

"I would like the bedroom furniture. I don't like Jason's." She stopped, a little embarrassed that she just mentioned his name.

"That's fine. You spent more time in that bed than me, anyway. Just empty my drawers on the floor. About the oversized chair in the living room..."

"That was mine before we moved in together." She snapped. Greedy bitch.

"I'll give you a thousand for it. In fact, let's just end this whole thing. I'll write you a check for $5,000 right now. You take the bedroom furniture, your car, your workout equipment, and your personal effects, and get out. Deal?"

She glared at me. She wanted to negotiate but she also knew that I could have her thrown out with exactly nothing and there wasn't a single thing she could do about it.

"Fine"

I stepped around the corner, grabbed my checkbook from my briefcase and wrote the check. It was the best money I'd ever spent.

I heard Simon's car outside and grabbed the bagel off the counter along with my coffee.

Chapter 27

Jill was avoiding me. She didn't want me to come over and stay with her the night before the wedding. I didn't have any bedroom furniture and so I spent the night in one of the guest bedrooms. I was awake most of the night. I just lied there thinking about Jill.

Simon and I made it to the courthouse right at 10:00. We were nearly late because of Simon. Jessie arrived with Jill around 10:10 or so. Jessie and Jill were both beaming as they rounded the atrium toward us. I glanced at Simon. For him, no one else existed in this courthouse but Jessie. His eyes were locked on hers and I started to feel like I was intruding on a very personal, intimate moment between two people.

My gaze settled on Jill. She was fidgeting with her camera and looking at me. It was a pretty emotional moment for all of us, despite the fact that an entire herd of people were departing the courtroom. Jill quickly snapped pictures and we went inside for the ceremony.

As the judge stated their vows, I felt a lump in my throat. Jill was standing less than 6 feet away. My biggest fear was that she and I would never stand in front of witnesses in the same way; that it would be the closest to a wedding ceremony that I would get her. It was so easy for me to picture her in a white dress holding my hand and repeating the same words. Why does it have to be so difficult?

I could see Jill's hands shaking as tears began to well up in her eyes. She looked over at me for a brief moment, and then back at Jessie. It was all over in a matter of minutes. The bailiff took our picture all together. We hugged and signed the certificate and then we walked into the foyer.

"What do you guys have planned for today?" I started.

Simon finally peeled his eyes off his bride and spoke, "Well, first we want to go by the house for a bit. Alone...you know."

"Uh, huh..."

"And then we were hoping you guys could join us for lunch at Garozzo's downtown."

"Okay. That sounds great."

I kissed Jill's forehead and rubbed her back.

"Do you guys want to take my vette, and Jill and I will ride in Jill's car?"

Jessie laughed and put both her hands on her belly, "Are you kidding?"

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Yeah, you're going to have to get rid of that thing."

I shot Simon a look. You know I can't have kids, asshole! Simon's eyes got wider and he looked at Jill. I could feel her body stiffen in my arms.

"Okay, you guys take Jill's car and we'll ride in mine. Jill and I will stop off at the store and get some champagne to celebrate."

Simon tilted his head and was about to speak when Jessie interrupted him, "One glass won't hurt anything."

Her eyes darted from Simon to Jill and then quickly back to me. "That sounds great, Martin."

Jill gave her keys to Simon and leaned in to kiss Jessie on the cheek. They started walking toward the elevator and Jill held me in place.

"Wait a second. I want to talk to you." She looked around quickly and spotted an empty bench. It was in a strange spot, all by itself. As if they had one left over and no logical place to put it.

We walked toward it and sat down. My heart was starting to beat faster in my chest. Jill didn't usually approach things this secretively.

"What did you think of the ceremony?" She began.

"It was fine; short and sweet. Did it shake you up?"

Jill's head snapped toward me. "NO!" She said quickly. "No, that's not...no, not at all."

She situated her body so she was facing me more squarely. She grabbed my hands and took a deep breath.

"I don't know how else to say this, so I'll just say it. I'm pregnant."

I thought I misheard her. "What?"

"I'm pregnant, Martin."

I sat there for a few seconds. My heart felt like it was about to come clear out of my chest and onto her lap.

"Who...?"

"Honey, you are the father."

"But I...can't..."

"Um, yes you can. There is absolutely no other possibility."

The words weren't registering. I heard her say I was the father, but I couldn't get my mind around it.

She continued, "I've been trying to find the way to tell you. I wanted you to leave Teresa first. And I've been wanting you to ask me, but you haven't. And I understand why and everything. Anyway, I had to tell you now because Simon and Jessie know."

"They...how did this happen?"

"Sweetie, I went off the pill months ago. Remember?"

"Yeah, but..."

I guess it finally sunk in. I couldn't stop the tears. They just came out of nowhere.

"I didn't think I could...and I thought you wanted children...and so I didn't ask." I wasn't making any sense but I was so fucking shocked.

Jill nodded and brushed the tears from her eyes. "I know, I know." She took another deep breath and gripped my hands.

"So, will you marry me?" She sweetly asked.

Surely my heart skipped a beat in that moment. I'm pretty sure I forgot how to breathe.

"Oh, my God! You're asking me...to...to marry you?"

"Yes. If I wait until you have the guts, it'll never happen."

I blinked hard and nodded, "Yes, I'll marry you. I'll marry you right now if you want."

Jill giggled.

She leaned up and kissed me. I was still a little too stunned to reciprocate fully at first. Then I grabbed her and held her tight. I kissed her lips and her cheek and her forehead. I moved back to her lips. For a moment, I forgot we were in a courthouse and I moved toward her neck.

"Wait until we get home." She whispered in my ear.

Home. That sounded so beautiful coming from her lips.

"I can't believe this is happening. I've been so scared..."

"I know. But you don't have to be. That's when I knew it was right. When I wasn't scared, anymore."

"How long have you known?"

"That I was pregnant, or that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?"

"Either...both."

"I decided I wanted to be with you a long time ago. There was this one time when you started to fight with me and I completely diffused you by taking off my shirt, remember?" I nodded.

"I knew if I could deal with your temper, everything would work out between us. I just found out about being pregnant a couple weeks ago."

"You're really pregnant?"

"Yes. For real."

"Would you marry me if you weren't?"

"Okay, that's enough. Now you sound like me."

"No, wait. If we couldn't have kids, would you still marry me?"

"Martin..."

"I need to know. I spent all night last night thinking about it."

"It was never an issue, baby. Never."

"But I thought...your whole family is so...focused on children."

"Yes, they are and yes, I want children but only if they're your children. I wouldn't give you up to go have kids with someone else. I love you. I'm completely in love with you. I'm done with dating, forever. Understand?"

"Alright, I'm sorry. I understand."

"Now, let's get out of here and head to the store. We really do have a lot to celebrate today." We both stood. "You're starting to suck the romance out of this."

I threw my arms around her and picked her up. She tried to wiggle free.

"Oh, no, now I'm not letting you go. You just informed me that we are having a baby and that you want to get married and I'm supposed to know the exact romantic response right there, on the spot?! I've wanted to ask you for years. YEARS, I tell you. Nothing could've prepared me for this."

Jill was giggling, "Martin, put me down."

"No. NO! Here, I have a better idea." I walked over to the rail overlooking the atrium below and started shouting, "HEY, EVERYBODY! THIS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, JILL. WE ARE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING A BABY!"

The random bystanders below started applauding. Jill's face was flushed. I set her down on her feet and waved below and then pulled her to my chest, holding her tight. I pulled away to see her face. Tears were starting to fall down her cheeks.

"Is that romantic enough for you?"

She nodded.

We stood there holding each other for another couple of minutes. I made a command decision.

"Let's skip the store and just go home for awhile. I can hardly wait another minute to be alone with you."

Chapter 28

I was thankful that Simon and Jessie took Jill's car. I sped us home. I pulled Jill into the guest bedroom. The unkempt bed and crumpled sheets were evidence of my sleepless night. Jill lay down on the sheets and grabbed the pillow in her arms.

"Mmmmm, they smell like you."

"I slept here last night."

"Why not in your bedroom?"

I climbed onto the bed and pressed my body to hers.

"Well, because there is no furniture in there."

"Oh," Jill started combing her fingers through my hair gently.

"Baby, are you going to feel comfortable living here? In this house, I mean?"

Jill looked around the room and directly back at me. "I always thought this house was yours, not hers."

"It is, but I want to know if you think it can be ours. Yours and mine."

She smiled, "Would you move if I asked you to?"

"In a New York minute."

She nuzzled my neck, "I don't care where we live as long as we're together."

My mouth closed on hers. The temperature rose quickly until we were once again clawing at each other's clothes. I couldn't fathom what it was about her that drove me straight to insanity. I didn't want to know. I just wanted to be closer to her, as close as I could be. Holding her soft skin against mine wasn't enough. I wouldn't stop; I couldn't stop until I was inside her.

My head fell onto her shoulder and I briefly cried on her neck. I was so consumed with emotion. I had been holding back for so long, and I couldn't hold it any longer. I slowly slid in and out of her warmth. I could feel every inch of her grabbing me, holding me, begging me to stay. I resisted the urge to quicken my pace. Instead, I just maintained a slow, steady rhythm, driving just a bit deeper with each stroke.

Jill began to tremble and her eyes clamped shut. Her mouth opened but no sound came out. She gripped my back with her fingers, her nipples protruded. I could feel the throbbing inside her. I stopped moving and held on tightly to her. I was deep inside her, as close as I could be both physically and emotionally.

Jill took a big breath and then swallowed hard. She opened her eyes. I brushed her hair from her face, one piece at a time, gently. Then I kissed the sweat on her brow.

"I want to stay like this forever." I confessed in a whisper.

Her eyes closed again, "I wish you could." She tilted her pelvis so that I moved inside her.

"I don't mean physically like this. I want to always feel this close to you. Do you know what I mean?"

Jill opened her eyes and looked into mine. She nodded. "I do."

I reached around with my right hand and cupped her buttocks, lifting them up toward me. I continued my rhythm but I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I let completely go; there was no reason to hold anything back any longer. All of my muscles grew tense at once. I trembled and gasped and yelled out, completely immersed in our intimacy. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.

It took several minutes for me to catch my breath. Jill was lying patiently beneath me, caressing my back and sides. "I love you," she whispered.

I kissed the tip of her nose and then her lips. I slid out of her and kept moving down her body until my head was resting near her belly. I kissed her belly button and circled all around with little kisses. Then I laid my head on her stomach.

She stroked my hair gently. I lifted my head and propped my chin up onto my hand.

"I'm so happy."

"Me, too." She smiled.

"When can we get married?" I asked.

"I don't know...right away, I guess."

"I want to buy you a big ring."

"I don't need a big ring, just something simple will do." Oh, that's so NOT Teresa.

"We need to get bedroom furniture. Do you want to pick it out?"

"Not especially. Can we do it together?"

I looked at her and smiled. "Yes.

"I can't wait to meet your family."

"Oh, they are going to flip when they hear about this."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"Good way. They've been begging for me to settle down since I was eighteen."

"Eighteen? Really?"

"Yep. And I have news for you, our family doesn't believe in divorce, so you are stuck with me for life."

"Good. I like that idea. My parents are still together, you know."

"I remember you saying that. Are they...happy?"

"Deliriously so...even after all these years"

"What about your sister? You have one sister, right?"

"Yeah, Sylvia...we call her Sissy. She married her college boyfriend, Jeff. They live in Michigan."

"Kids?"

"No. You'll be the big hit with Brian and Grace for giving them their first grandchild. Sissy doesn't show signs of wanting a family, I don't know why."

"I wonder if Simon has called my parents yet."

"Why would he do that?" Jill lifted her head to look at me.

"He's like a son to them. When his mom took off, he pretty much came and lived with us. We lived only two doors down."

"I didn't know that. You told me you grew up together but I thought you meant, like, you went to school together."

"Until I moved into my house in Overland Park – remember that house, that's when I first met you..."

Jill nodded.

"Anyway, until then, Simon and I have always lived together. Through college and after...well, that's not exactly right, there was about two months that I was still living in Dallas after he first moved here.

"I can't believe he is married."

"And he is going to be a daddy," Jill added.

"Yeah, but he was born to be a father. Hell, he acts like he is my dad sometimes. You know, how weird is it that we're both having children and getting married at about the same time?"