All Comments on 'Pins Ch. 02'

but don't make us read a telephonebook over the next chapters. picking up a few and how you put them on their way from shy to perverted is a lot more fun than knowing 2 in , one already dead and the other one never heard off anymore. B. would have some potential for another part. and believe me dead bodies are not erotic , you would loose a lot of readers, also when you hurry up to much and add a Sally a Giny a Daisy and the 10 more girls in half a chapter. but if you write how B. has her first Sandwich her tits pierced.... clit pumped whatever you don't kill the erotic like you do with talking about the pimp from new york.

I can't believe that you wrote, "Oh, she'll either end up in a hospital dying of AIDS, or be sold to some Turkish brothel or in a box with a .380 round in her brain." Seducing young women with the allure of a modeling career and then selling them for $20,000 to a pimp who keeps them locked up for years isn't erotica. Your story is awful!

I have to say, after the first chapter I didn't see the pimp angle coming. I personally would've preferred if it was a straight up porn gig, but I'm not the writer. :)