by bluefox07
Aside from a few typos, this chapter is awesome. It might just have the longest sex scene I've ever read here. You walked that fine line between drama and melodrama a few times, but otherwise it's very compelling. The foreshadowing makes me want to read on, and I like the fact that these people are flawed. Even your protagonists are flawed. And I agree, Mark is a complete asshole. Well done. Please continue to write.
For once a story that the sex adds to it but it is more then than the sex...I can't wait to read the 2nd chapter...