All Comments on 'Rita Ch. 01'

by Scandman

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
editing needed

sometimes you say things like, "her testicles" and mix genders up so that it's weird to read, but dismissing that and correcting mentally makes it a good story.

DEGEDEGEover 9 years ago
A bit weird but let's look how it evolves

I agree it needs some editing as some actions get confusing. Also I found the plot somehow weird and sometimes unreal, but let's give you a chance with chapter 2 so to see how do you handle the evolution of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Her and his

This really needs some editing between her and his. Unless she has testicles. It was very distracting

Anonymous
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