All Comments on 'She Walked Away'

Congratulations. Very good start.

But I have nothing against sad stories. It's a shame to see a relationship end for the sake of the story, but that's how they work sometimes, I'm guilty of that myself. I'll watch for more from you. Well done, rthnck!

I liked the writing more than the story, which was quite sad. It left me wanting a more satisfactory ending - reconciliation, or realizing that it really, truly is all over and that life must go on.

I was waiting for him to threaten to take his ball and go home. Oh, wait - he WAS home! When the author said this story was "non-erotic", he wasn't kidding! Look, Bud; either get conseling or throw the wench out. If you won't think about your own torment, think about ours.

There's probably a real story looming in the nearby shadows, but this clearly was not it. More set-up would have helped. Some degree of resolution (good or bad) would have been welcomed. But as posted, there is nothing here except the first page of a thousand-page novel.

-- KK in Texas

but there is no story nor anything that would indicate that there are other chapters. This is not a story not even a complete chapter.

As the author of this 'story' I can only say that the tale that is told is exactly as described. A non-erotic description of a night of romance that wasn't. The setup is left to the reader's imagination and the story contains the male viewpoint only. It is a sad tale that concentrates on the male psyche. While I am tempted to continue the story or retell it from the female perspective, I consider it complete in its present form.

Sad story, needs a conclusion, frigid, gay, in love with someone else, not willing to compromise, I'd say time to move on, he's on his own in this marriage anyway and this kind of rejection kills the soul. I'll be looking for more, thanks.

Although short, this story did what I believe the author intended. It showed how easily a person (in this case the husband) can be hurt by the actions of their lover. As this story is told from the perspective of the husband we aren't privy to the thoughts and motivations of the wife, so while we are tempted to take the husband's side there really isn't enough information given to decide who is at fault in this marriage. I think anyone that has been married for a long time has at one time or another been hurt in the same way as the husband, making the story more real for them. This story does stand by itself and doesn't need a sequel, although, it might be interesting to read what the wife was feeling that night. Good job author.

but in its current form it's hardly a story - the way I understand it. It's read as a summary of a situation; a picture from married life. But there is no dialogue, no plot or other recognized development (necessary ingredients -at least some development) for a story. Still, the level of observations and expressed emotions were quite impressive (there is no doubt this author COULD produce a well written story (given 'compliance' with minimum criteria of story )...

You did a great job of capturing the emotional meltdown in a dead marriage. I'm not proud to say, I've been through it three times, and it was always just as bleak as you described here.

I first read about six paragraphs, then decided I didn't want to stir up some very bitter memories, but I made myself read it anyway. I was right - it brought back some of the emotions of the many lonely nights of my dying marriages. Now I am stuck thinking about 25 collective years of marriages, 3 women, 2 children - and tonight I sit here alone reading a porn site and discovering a relevant reminder of what sex can say between two broken people.

I feel for you because I suspect that you may have been going through this very thing when you wrote it.

Your story tells it all - to anyone who has personally been through it. You were spot on here. You should have written no more nor no less. You've got a real talent for writing. Thanks.

This one hit a little too close to home. Good job!

what's the point?

The pain comes through. Awesome job.