So Far From Yesterday

It was while his back was to the room and his guard was down that Angeline suddenly appeared with her arm around Nadia. "Nadia Bergen, I'd like you to meet Sam Anderson. Sam, this is Nadia."

Nadia stood showing her perfect posture, her eyes focused on him and showed more of a smile than Sam thought possible. She daintily offered her hand to him which he took in both of his, "Nadia, very nice to meet you."

"Thank you Sam, nice to meet you."

"May I get you a drink?"

"Yes, perhaps a vodka tonic," Sam got the bartender's attention and placed the order as she asked, "So are you enjoying the party, Sam?"

"Not until now."

She gave him a coy smile and said, "Thank you."

It was an unimaginative line and he knew it, but he still felt a little off balance from Angeline's surprise attack. Besides, what he said was the truth. "I hope you'll forgive me for gawking at you earlier."

"I didn't think of it as gawking if that helps any, but I'm curious. Do you think you might have met me somewhere before?"

"That would be an easy line to get me out of an awkward situation, but no." He wanted to be away from Peter so they could talk without being overheard. Pointing toward chairs and a small table at the side of the room he asked her, "Would you care to join me? I'll try to finish answering your question away from the crowd. Or would that offend your escort?"

"Malcolm?" Again the small smile, "No, he won't mind at all." Sam saw Angeline out of the corner of his eye and she was watching them. It only took him a second to look at her and give her a sneering look and then a wink. That should confuse her just a little he thought. As soon as they were settled in their small chairs, Nadia said, "Sam, Angeline told me about your tragedy a few months ago. I'm so very sorry." Sam didn't want to be reminded of his past so he just said thank you," and left it at that. "You were going to say something at the bar."

"Before I do, I better warn you that I'm in the habit of speaking my mind."

"Oh, really, and I should be afraid of what you'd tell me?"

"It isn't my intention to offend you. Okay, to answer your question, after I studied you, your beauty, your straight posture, and your haunting eyes, I tried to look into the real you."

"Before you offend me, I better thank you for those compliments."

"You're welcome. Whatever Malcolm is in your life, I get the feeling that your relationship isn't deep. Either never was, or is less so now: Like a drifting apart."

This near stranger was getting into a pretty personal area very quickly and she didn't quite know what to think about that. "What could possibly make you say that?"

"Your eyes. Also, I think you'd rather you were somewhere other than here."

"Oh, Really?" There was the slightest cold edge to her voice as she continued. "Do you see yourself as having some...well, perhaps, psychic power?"

"This whole thing was told by your eyes and nothing more."

"I see. You really do speak your mind." She had been looking at him, but looked down at her drink and sipped it without really tasting it before asking him, "And how do you feel about your thoughts?"

"No particular feeling, just observations." She wasn't smiling, but she didn't seem to be eager to leave him either. Despite his poor manners, she was curious.

"What else have you decided based on your observations?"

"Judging from your beautiful necklace and the way you present yourself, I feel safe in saying that your childhood was one of comfort, and you are still comfortable financially. You're no stranger to operas and grand parties. You are at ease in situations like this, but even then your attention was divided. Malcolm had a very small percentage of you earlier, and I'm not sure that I have your full attention."

"Sam, you do have my undivided attention, but I'm trying to decide what to think about you. You border on being rude and intrusive, but you are, or rather, at least, could be very charming. But there's a cold aloofness to you, and no, I didn't get that from your eyes." He didn't smile, but he was looking at her as she continued. "Of course, given your recent nightmarish events as Angeline explained them to me, that's to be expected I'm sure."

"I don't concern myself with what other people expect of me."

"Oh. Well, excuse me," and she looked away uncertain what to say or do next. "Was that an example of speaking your mind?"

"I guess."

Her back was even straighter now and she looked more guarded like she was considering going back to Malcolm. "It's my turn to be curious. You don't really want to be here, so why did you accept the invitation?" Now it was his turn to hesitate. She watched him intently because she wasn't going to let him just ignore her.

"I'm not sure how to answer that question, Nadia. I like Roger and Angeline. Not because of their power or whatever, but because they are nice people who just happen to be very popular, well off, and influential. I really considered declining, but my good friend Noah encouraged me to accept."

"And the opera, did you like that?"

"Not really."

"Just what do you like?" That one really stopped him. What did he like?

"Nadia, you really stopped me with that simple question. I don't know. I won't even get into what I used to like. But right now, I like talking to you. I like talking to my friends."

"Okay. Let's talk about what you do then."

Sam showed her a thin smile as he answered, "I'm retired."

"I'm serious."

"I am too. I don't know if I'll stay retired, but that's how I see myself at the moment. I quit my job just days ago."

"Why?"

"I just didn't want to do that anymore."

"Sam, there's an old saying. It is not the years that age us, but the sorrow. Don't get old before your time, Sam. I don't think the woman you loved and lost, would approve of that at all," and she stood up. He quickly got to his feet as she said, "Sam, thank you for your kind words and I'll pretend you never said the others. I hope we get to talk again one of these days."

Sam kissed her cheek and said, "Nadia, you are a breath of fresh air for me, thank you." She smiled and went in search of Malcolm.

Chapter Seven

Sam found Angeline and stood off to the side while she talked to an older woman. One of the many guests he didn't know. Angeline made eye contact with him and he smiled and waited patiently. Once she was able to break free, she moved over to him and asked, "Well, was it painful talking to Nadia?"

"You know it wasn't. She's very charming, attractive, and quite intelligent."

"I know. Did you feel Malcolm staring at you?"

"No I didn't. If it bothered him that much, he should have just joined us."

"Lucky for you two he didn't, because that gave you more time to chat."

He smiled and asked her, "Now why would you say that?"

"I did my share of watching you two as well."

"I don't think I impressed her very much."

"You never know, handsome. Maybe she has a thing for your type."

"And what type is that?"

"As I just said, handsome, also intelligent, but more than a little lost right now. I think that somewhere inside of you is somebody that likes to laugh, but nobody will ever know that until you've finished your sad journey."

He kissed her cheek and said, "Angeline, little did I know when I met you not long ago, that I would see you as a very good and very smart friend, and tolerant of my idiosyncrasies."

"I'll think of them as temporary faults, or they better be temporary. She returned his kiss then and said, "Now mingle and play nice because people will be leaving soon."

Instead, Sam found Noah and told him he was ready to leave any time. Noah put his drink on the end of the buffet table and said, "You lasted longer than I would have guessed."

"Compared to the opera, this gathering wasn't bad at all."

"You and Angeline seem to be bonding, to say nothing of you and Nadia."

"Oh, so you know her."

"We've met, but I can't really say I know her."

"What about Malcolm?"

"I've had dinner with him, but I can't say that I know him very well. So what's the story about Nadia?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders and said, "No story really. Angeline introduced us and we talked for awhile. I think I offended her."

"Am I supposed to be surprised? Okay Sam, take me home." They found Roger and then Angeline and thanked them for the evening and they left. They didn't even make it to Cleveland Road before Sam was pulled over. "Okay Sam, what did you do?"

"I'll take a guess at speeding."

"I'm not helping with the ticket."

"Maybe we drew a sympathetic cop." Sam put his window down and sat there with his hands on the steering wheel.

Sam saw the officer in his rearview mirror as he approached. Just like they showed it on television, the officer paused well short of Sam's door and then eased forward as he asked, "Do you know why I stopped you?"

"I'm thinking I was speeding."

"That's right, twelve over the limit: License and registration please."

"Noah, hand me the envelope from the glove box," and Sam retrieved his wallet from his suit coat pocket. Noah handed Sam the registration and Sam gave both to the officer. There was a pause as the cop used his flashlight to read Sam's license and registration and then looked at Sam. "Don't I know you?"

"If you do, you have the advantage, because I've never seen you before."

"Have you ever been arrested?"

Sam all but laughed as he said, "No, I've never been arrested. This is only the second time in my life that I've been stopped in fact."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, I was an only child."

"Okay Mr. Anderson, no ticket for you tonight, but slow down." Once again he shined his light on Sam's face and then said, "I'd like you to do something for me Mr. Anderson."

"What's that?"

"Stop by the police station on Church Street. Do it tomorrow if possible, and ask for Detective Campbell."

"I'm listening, but why would I do that?"

"Detective Campbell will explain it to you. Were I to tell you, I doubt that you'd believe me. The detective will have something to show you. Mind you, this isn't a requirement, but believe me, you will be surprised. Have a safe evening and please slow down," and the officer returned to his car.

Sam put his license away and asked Noah, "What the hell do you think that was all about?"

"Don't ask me, but by damn you better do as he suggested, because I'm really curious."

"It isn't as though I don't have the time, and like you, I am curious." In fact Sam was so curious, he was at the police station at nine the next morning telling the duty sergeant he wanted to see Detective Campbell.

Sam's eyes dilated when he saw the detective. He had to be six four. Tall and built like a football lineman. Sam was good sized, but his hand was lost in the detectives hand as Sam extended his and introduced himself.

"Right, officer Newland told me about this. Let's go to my desk," and he led the way to his cubicle and gestured for Sam to sit down. He pulled a manila folder out and laid it on his desk. "I was told you have no siblings is that right?"

"That's right."

"Then that makes this all the more interesting." He opened the folder and turned it to show Sam a photo. "Recognize this person, Sam?"

"Yeah, that's me, except the hair is styled and cut wrong."

The detective was smiling as he asked, "Have you ever worn your hair like that?"

"Never, so that can't be me."

"It isn't. This is Carson Phillips and he lives in Westville...in the Indiana State Prison." Sam leaned back, but his eyes never left the photo. Carson was convicted of murder and was sentenced to life in prison with parole possible in...I'm not sure, twenty years I think."

"This is a little creepy."

"I'm sure it is."

"What can you tell me about him, or his story?"

"I didn't look up his sheet, but I was the arresting officer, so let's see what I can remember. He stabbed a woman named Sierra Conklin. We never found the knife and it was almost a month before we put the pieces together and arrested Carson."

"What was the connection between this Carson and the victim?"

"He knew her, and in fact he was seen with her not half an hour before he murdered her. But since he never confessed, we can only guess at his motive. Most of the case rested on the testimony of an eye witness. He was a good witness. Shook up, but not overly stressed by what he'd seen, so he was able to remember enough detail."

"Damn, that's too bad. I really feel for the victim."

"We did too, and that's what keeps us going sometimes."

"I lost my wife and baby a few months ago, so this hits pretty close to home."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Had he not committed the crime, how would you describe him?"

"Well, like you physically. But other than that, I'd have to say erudite. Well spoken, clean cut, and a nice guy. He just has a hidden side that got him into trouble."

"Could you get me in to see him? I mean, assuming he'd agree to it."

"I can try. Normally the visitor has to be on a list that was submitted by the prisoner. Not on the list, no visiting privileges, but maybe we can work around that this one time. I'll see what I can do and call you later. Any reason you want to meet him other than curiosity?"

"I'm not sure. It doesn't seem possible that we'd look just like each other and not have some kind of blood link."

"I agree, but you have no siblings so that rules out the obvious possibility."

"I know. What the hell, I have the time, I am curious, and I'm sure I'd shock the shit out of him if he could see me."

"You can count on that. Okay, I'll see what I can do, but give me a few hours."

"I'm not going far and we know he isn't going anyplace." The detective laughed and Sam left his cell number and then headed home. It struck him that when he went out, he was more aware of the brightness of the day and the fresh cold February air smelled unusually clean and pleasant.

Chapter Eight

Detective Campbell had called late in the day on Monday and told him it was set for him for Tuesday, but just this one time. After that, the prisoner had to submit Sam's name to be approved as a visitor.

After leaving the police department, Sam called Anna. "Hi, did I catch you at a bad time?"

"It's been so long since I've heard from you, I had to think for a minute who you were."

"Very funny."

"To answer your question, no this isn't a bad time, I'm just working on a project and a break won't hurt me at all."

"What time does your boss let you go for the day? Say for dinner at Simeri's. We can have pizza and beer and I'll tell you a story....oh and would you mind if a friend of mine joins us?"

"Sounds good and I don't mind your friend. Since I'm the boss, I'll give myself some time off for good behavior, so what time?"

"Six?"

"That will work, but I'll meet you there."

"Okay, see you at Simeri's." Then he called Jeff and extended the same offer and told him that Anna would be there.

"It's about time I met your decorator, slash friend. Plus, you owe me dinner for being so out of touch."

"Yeah, yeah, I feel your pain. See you at Simeri's at six then," and he hung up. Until that moment, he hadn't even realized how he had forsaken his friends so completely.

Sam was the first to arrive at the restaurant and had garnered a table for the three of them, and was nursing a Sam Adams when Jeff joined him. His beer was just being delivered when Anna arrived and she and Jeff were introduced to each other.

It was just noisy enough in the restaurant to encourage the threesome to lean forward to talk, ignoring their menus until the waiter came around for the third time. To keep it simple, they ordered a large pepperoni with double cheese and went back to talking. Sam waited for a few minutes and then told them about the convict at Westville that looked just like him. "Just how close does he match you," Anna asked.

"Well, it was a mug shot and his hair was cut a lot different, but even with that, I have to say he looked a whole lot like me. I'm going to Westville tomorrow. If he'll see me, I want to find out if we have a familial connection."

Before Jeff could comment Anna said, "So if you do, you can say you have a con in your family. Is that worth a drive to Westville?"

"I guess it is. I'm curious. The cop was about half tempted to put me in handcuffs thinking I was this Carson Philips guy and I'd escaped prison."

"And if this Carson won't see you?"

"Not much I can do about that I guess. I'll mail him a picture of me and see what he has to say about that, if anything. After that I get on with my life."

I'll bet you don't let it drop that easily. If you're curious enough to drive for an hour or whatever to go see him, you're curious enough to keep trying."

Sam had to smile. Anna knew him pretty well. "Yeah, okay, maybe, you're right, but I can't make him see me."

Jeff added, "They say that everybody has a double somewhere in the world."

"Maybe so, but this is creeping me out." There wasn't much more they could say about Sam's double, so they focused on eating their pizza until Sam told them about Nadia.

Jeff smiled and asked, "Do I sense a glimmer of normality returning to your life? Did you actually drool over a woman?"

"Yeah right. She's skinny and rich and a little stuffy. I just mentioned her because of the way she seemed so distracted. I mean there she was dripping with diamonds at this stuffy too proper gathering, and still she seemed almost bored. Not uncomfortable at all. In fact, she seemed almost too comfortable, just...well like I said, mentally traveling."

Anna was watching him talk about Nadia so she added, "Yes, but you also were very precise about how attractive, tall, and alluring she was."

"I didn't say alluring."

"Okay so I added that word, but you are more than curious about this woman. You are intrigued and she still dwells in your thoughts. You want to know more about her. In a way, she is haunting you."

"Oh come on, that's a little over the top. I just mentioned her because she seemed to have it all, and yet seemed to be...I don't know, maybe looking for more."

Jeff didn't smile as he said, "Hell Sam, with you're abrupt style, if you do see her again, you'll just make her mad and that will be the end of that."

"Forget I mentioned her. Besides, I don't travel in those circles so it's doubtful that I'll ever see her again anyway." Sam was about half sorry he had even mentioned Nadia.

When Jeff excused himself for the bathroom, Anna reached over and took his hand in hers and told Sam, "You know, I'm glad you even noticed this Nadia. That tells me that you're on your way to recovery."

Sam shrugged his shoulders slightly and told her, "It's just that she was attractive and seemed to have everything, and yet there she was wishing for something else."

"Maybe she's just spoiled and never satisfied."

"I didn't get that feeling at all."

"She sure sounds high maintenance though."

"She could be. Unless those diamonds were fake, she has to be worth a few bucks."

"Cubic zirconia looks like diamonds to the casual or unsophisticated viewer. I have a couple of pieces with cubic zirconia stones myself."

He smiled and squeezing her hand said, "So you're high maintenance too."

"Just keep me dripping in diamonds and I'm happy. In fact, I just remembered that it was your fee that bought me one of those pieces. Now I can say you bought me jewelry."

"Don't tell anybody because that's not good for my bad boy image."

Jeff came back and caught them holding hands and said, "Guess I better get going so you two can be alone."

Anna leaned back, and smiling just said, "You're fine, Jeff. I was just telling Sam I thought there was hope for him."