So Far From Yesterday

"Well, it's a little soon to say for sure, but...well, I'll just tell you and see what you think." He started with being stopped by Officer Newland and moved on to seeing Carson's photo for the first time. As soon as he said that, she put her wine glass down and put her hand on his arm.

"Oh my god, Sam, really? I mean did he really look just like you?"

"It was like looking in the mirror. Well the prison might be aging him a little...wait, I didn't ask him how old he was. Damn, now I can't wait to find that out."

"But Sam, he's a convict."

"Believe me, I know. I sat there and talked to him through that thick glass that was between us. The place stinks too."

Her long thin perfectly manicured fingers felt cool on his forearm as she left her hand there and looked at him. "I'm sorry, I interrupted you. So what happened?" He told her about talking to Carson and how it was affecting him and on to Carson's lawyer. "So his own lawyer said that? It sounds like he's not eager to help you or this Carson."

"I'm going to stay with him for the time being, but if things don't change, I'll talk to Carson about firing him and getting a new lawyer. Hell, I'll even pay for it if that will help."

"You really are getting involved in this mess. What if you go through all of this and find out he really is a murderer?"

"I still want to know how it's possible that he looks like me, is built like me and even sounds a lot like me. Well, except for the prison influence of course. He swears more than I do."

She turned toward him a little and her hand went to his thigh. Sam's heart jumped and he felt like he was slipping. Slipping toward her, and he didn't like some of the thoughts that came into his mind. "Sam, is it possible that with you being retired, you have too much time to think about this?" He didn't say anything so she pushed a little farther and said, "I'm just guessing of course, but that is possible. It would be pretty hard to stay objective I'm sure. You're still healing from...well, you're still healing." He watched as she emptied her glass and put it down, but kept her right hand on his thigh. Then her left hand landed next to her left hand as she looked into his eyes. "Sam, I really do know what you have been going through because I lost my husband eleven months ago. I'm sure that's one of the reasons Angeline was so sure we would be compatible at the party."

"I'm sorry Nadia, I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't. He was a major in the marines. A pilot, and his plane malfunctioned. He stayed with it long enough to get it away from the populated area, but he didn't make it out. He did what he had to do." Sam was stunned. He had wondered how it was that she was unmarried: Beautiful, financially secure and still young. Now it was making a lot more sense.

His hand went to hers on his leg and he said, "I'm so sorry Nadia, but why didn't you tell me at the party?"

"I just didn't want to get into it. We wouldn't have done very well consoling each other I'm afraid."

"No, because I was too busy with my own needs I'm sorry to say."

"You were doing what you needed to do. That's what we all do as we mourn and slowly recover. I've had more time to heal, so now it's a little easier for me than for you."

"Is there a connection with your loss and that dreamy far away look you had?"

"Probably, it made me a little nervous when you told me that's how you saw me. Malcolm probably picked up on it too. My husband used to love the theater and the parties.

Sam picked her hands up and kissed them one by one and said, "I better go, Nadia."

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Sam."

He stood up, pulled her up to him and told her, "It wasn't what you told me about your husband that is making me uncomfortable." Before she could say anything he pulled her to him and kissed her. She stiffened a little, but he held onto her and she gave in and her arms went around him. She felt so small and fragile in his arms, but her lips were perfect for him as she returned his kiss and their tongues timidly touched each other. The kiss didn't last long, but the significance of that kiss would be in his mind for a long time. When it was over, Sam didn't say anything nor did she. They stayed close, looked at each other and then shared a tender smile. She stepped back and in a softer voice she said, "Thank you for joining me for dinner and the kiss. Especially the kiss. It scares me as I think about it now, but I'll deal with that. Sam, be careful. Be careful with everything you do. Don't let the situation with Carson harm you, and don't...well, just be careful. We both still have some healing to do."

"I know." They slipped their arms around each other's waist and walked to the door where they shared an embrace and then he left. She watched him for another second and then slowly closed the door, leaned against it, and tried to sort out her feelings. Sam was attentive and charming through the whole evening, but that edge in his personality was just below the surface. She had to admit that though it made no sense at all, there was a part of her that liked that about him. She smiled then, touched her lips with a finger and remembered their modest kiss. Just a simple kiss, but it was such a nice surprise.

Chapter Twelve

It was Sam's plan to go home and have a stiff drink and try not to think about Carson or kissing Nadia. He was tired. He felt a bone deep fatigue and he just wanted to hide and rest or sleep until life once again was good and uncomplicated. Then Jeff called and wanted all of the details about the very things he was trying to run away from. His first impulse was to go into a tirade, but he caught himself, took a deep breath and talked to Jeff as he put the bottle of booze back in the cupboard. He talked until his arm hurt from holding the phone to his ear, and Jeff just listened. Sam discovered he needed to talk rather than hide or drink.

Sam went to Ray Media's office at one on Thursday and once again told his story. He'd been through it so many times he was beginning to wonder if he was getting all of the facts straight.

"Okay, bear with me Sam. I think better if I go over certain details a second time. You have no brothers."

"Correct."

"Are your parents still alive?"

"No, I was raised by my aunt Evelyn and Uncle Earl. My parents died while I was a baby and my aunt and uncle died a few years ago in an accident."

"So no family that you know of."

"That's right."

"Okay Sam, I'll see what I can come up with, but don't expect to hear anything for awhile. I'll talk to Carson's attorney and see if I can get in to talk to Carson, and start digging and poking. I'll also see if the witness will talk to me since his testimony was so crucial. It will all take time, but rest assured if I come up with anything I'll call you, and if within say a couple of weeks I don't come up with anything I'll call you and see if you want to continue."

"Okay. Use my cell number anytime of day or night. Oh, and if you do get in to see Carson let me know how that goes even if nothing special comes from it."

"Will do."

Sam left Medina's office feeling like just maybe he could put Carson aside and let Medina work his magic. Of course it wasn't quite that simple, but that's what he was hoping for.

Thursday night, Sam was more asleep than awake when his cell phone rang insistently. He opened his eyes and quickly rubbed them as he remembered where he was and grabbed it off of the coffee table. "Yeah?"

"Damn that was a sexy greeting. Guess I called at a bad time."

"Hi Anna, sorry, I was asleep."

"It isn't even eight yet."

"My body was telling me it was much later than that."

"Well lean back, put your feet up and talk to me for a minute okay?"

"I'll do just that."

He kicked his legs out over the coffee table as she asked him, "So what's new on the mystery front?"

"Not much at all. I hired a detective today, so now it's wait and see what he can do. So I'm half lying on the couch, what are you up to?"

"I'm in my easy chair in my jammies finishing a glass of wine and then going to bed. I just wanted to see how you were doing before I closed my eyes."

"If you can tear yourself away from whatever tomorrow night I have a suggestion."

"Wonderful, count me in."

"Wait, you don't know what I'll come up with."

"You're choice. McDonalds or Burger King."

Her voice lowered and she said, "Oh, that's just great, and I get to choose."

"Now don't pout. Okay then, how about Ruth's Chris or Tippecanoe Place? My treat."

"Are you kidding me? How can I pick between those two awesome places?"

"Okay I'll make it easy for you. Pick one and I promise we'll get to the other one in a few weeks or less."

"Sam are you sober?"

"Totally. Okay, you think about it and you can call me before you go to bed. Oh and tell me what time to pick you up."

"You're even going to pick me up?"

"Unless you'd rather meet me."

"Hell...I mean, no of course not. Maybe I better have a second glass of wine before bed, because you're scaring me."

"That's a hell of a thing to say."

"You know what I mean. Okay, I'll call you before I turn off the lights."

"Okay, but make it before midnight."

"I'll make it long before midnight. Talk to you as soon as I recover from all of this, bye," and she hung up. Sam sat there with his head resting on the back of the couch with his phone in his hand and smiled. He could tell by her voice, as well as her words, that she was shocked and was having trouble trying to figure what he was up to. Actually he was up to nothing more than having some fun at her expense. He was healing without even being fully aware of that fact.

Half an hour later Anna called him and said, "Okay. My wine is gone, my teeth are brushed and I'm in bed, but I'm still working on what you're up to."

"I'm up to about six one and it's unlikely I'll get any taller or thinner."

"What are you talking about, you're not fat."

"I just wanted to see if you remembered what I look like."

"Light brown hair and blue eyes."

"Very good. What is my sign?"

"Sam, I don't have a clue what your sign is and I don't really care."

"You're cranky when you get tired."

"I am not. Okay, what is your sign?"

"I'm not sure."

What? Sam you know your sign."

"No really. I was born on July twenty third and if you look a those lame astrological things, I've been listed as a Leo, but usually I'm listed as a Cancer. I think I'm closer to fitting Cancer."

"I'm an Aries. I'm fiery."

"Sure you are. Okay, turn out the light, snuggle into the sheets and I'll see you at six tomorrow night."

"Night Sam, and thanks for the invitation."

"You're welcome, night."

Chapter Thirteen

Sam and Anna were fairly quiet on their drive to the restaurant Friday night. For Sam there was no particular reason for that, but Anna was still trying to accept Sam asking her to dinner and then picking her up. Sam had wrestled with the dating concept and the jury was still out on that, but it was her turn to struggle with that issue. It was great to see him again no matter what they did or where they went. But to have him take her out to dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in the area created a whole new set of issues for her. Tippecanoe Place was originally the Studebaker mansion. The forty room stone edifice had amazing woodwork and a lot of history, but for Anna it was much more. It was proof that Sam was progressing faster than she ever thought he would. Her handsome friend, though surely still visited by the memories of his wife and baby, was actually smiling once in awhile. He was actually taking her out for the evening.

As they made their way down Washington Street Sam said, "You're a little quiet, you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just trying to decide if this is a date."

"Let me know what you decide, because I don't know either. Just because friends go out to dinner that doesn't necessarily mean it's a date."

"But Sam, what if one of those friends picks up the other friend, buys her dinner and makes her feel special? That changes things a little."

"Great, now I'm even more confused. Nadia took me out for dinner the other night, but I don't think that was a date."

"Nadia?"

"Yeah, remember, the woman I met at the after opera party."

"Oh yes, now I remember. Let's see, you described her as tall, too thin, very attractive, rich...that's all I remember."

"That's the one."

"So I'm your second date for the week."

"Oh, so you've decided this is a date, and dinner with Nadia was also a date."

She shared a small smile as she said, "Well we have to call it something. Hanging out together doesn't work. We're too old to just hook up, and besides, you came to get me so that wouldn't qualify anyway. Wait, did she go to your house, or you to hers after dinner?"

"I had wine at her place afterward."

"Then that had to be a date. Does that idea bother you?"

"I can't decide."

"Then you can't decide if being with me bothers you."

He looked at her and then paid attention to his driving as he turned left and drove between the rock pillars and parked the car. She was even more impressed and confused when he went around and opened the door for her. "I'm glad I'm with you tonight Anna," and he took her hand in his as they made their way to the restaurant. "Oh, one more thing about Nadia. Her husband was a marine and was killed about ten or eleven months ago."

"Oh no, so you two really have something in common."

"Not a nice thing, but yes. Some of the conclusions I was coming up with about her were wrong by the way, because I didn't know her story."

"That's really sad."

"Yes it is."

They were just nicely seated and their ice water poured when Sam asked her, "Well is this better than the stripper?"

She tried to give him a hard look, but her smile was in the way as she said, "Yes, this is much better than the stripper."

"With the mesh thong."

"Oh god, don't remind me." Sam just smiled and sampled his water. They passed on anything from the bar and studied their menus. When the waiter returned a few minutes later, Sam ordered the lamb chops and Anna the salmon, and Sam added a bottle of Riesling to go with dinner. To get even for the comment about the stripper, Anna leaned forward slightly and asked, "So on your other date did you pat Nadia's ass?"

Sam showed a blank expression for a second and then smiled. "I should have known that would come back to haunt me."

"Actually, I've decided I'm flattered you did that to me."

"Now explain that one."

"Obviously you were comfortable enough with me that you forgot yourself. I think that's very sweet, and like I said, I'm flattered."

"Well you are my best friend."

"I didn't know that, what happened to Jeff?"

"Okay, I mean my best woman friend."

"How many good women friends do you have?"

"You're determined to make this difficult for me aren't you."

She smiled again and said, "Okay, I'll behave. Sam, thank you. Of course you know you're my best friend, of either sex."

Sam's smile slipped away as he asked her, "Really?"

"Of course you are."

"I'm glad, but I better clean up my act then so I'm deserving of that honor."

"You're doing just fine. Tell me the latest about...Carlson...I mean Carson."

"It's like I told you last night, it's up to Ray Medina the private cop now."

"What are you hoping to accomplish, get him out of prison or what?"

"Well it started out to find out how it's possible Carson and I can look alike, but as his attorney told me about the trial, I got this wild idea that something didn't sound right. I can't believe somebody could be convicted of murder based on one witness and very feeble circumstantial evidence."

"I'm so afraid that you'll get so emotionally invested in his mess only to discover he really is a murderer."

"I know and I'm trying to keep all of that in a proper perspective."

"Forgive me for getting into a personal area Sam, but you're also at risk of spending a significant amount of money with a high potential for either a very poor return, or perhaps even no benefit at all. This detective has to be costing thousands of dollars, even I know that."

Sam smiled and said, "It's almost like we're married. I mean here we are talking about finances over dinner."

Anna's cheeks flushed pink as she said, "I'm sorry Sam, that...you're right, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, that's not what I meant at all." He reached across the table and taking her hand in his he said, "Anna, what you said is correct of course. Medina will cost a few thousand dollars, but I don't mind." She looked at their joined hands and then over at him as he said in a near whisper, "I've never mentioned it to anybody, but...how can I say this without sounding like I'm bragging?"

"After what I just said, you should be able tell me about anything and not worry about that."

"Anna, I'm a millionaire." Her hand tightened on his and she didn't just look at him, she stared.

"Say that again Sam."

He leaned across the table and whispered, "I'm worth a few million dollars."

"Oh my god," she didn't know what to say as she stared at him.

"Anna, I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable. It's funny because I've not had the desire or a reason to tell anybody else, even Jeff. For whatever reason, I wanted you to know. Of course since I'm not working I can't just go around and throw money away, but I'm comfortable." Anna still didn't know what to say until she managed, "I had assumed you got a settlement from the fire, and maybe insurance from the house and so forth, but...oh my god."

"Most of the insurance money I just put away because I would have felt like I was profiting from their deaths. Of course, the house insurance paid for the house I'm in now."

Dinner was served, and Anna steered the conversation away from money, but his words were still ringing in her ears. Then as she put her fork down and tasted her wine she asked him, "Sam, do you suppose that trying to help Carson is being partially fueled by a need to do something special with some of that money?"

There was a slight edge to his voice as he asked, "You mean like salve for my conscience or a penance?"

"Oh my god, no Sam, I just meant that maybe you want to do something good: To have something good come out of losing your family."

With the situation eased he relaxed and said, "I'm sorry I jumped to a conclusion, a very wrong and irrational conclusion. But then I do realize, that meeting you, was something very good that came out of that nightmare."

Her eyes were close to shedding tears as she blinked her eyes and said, "Thank you Sam, that was so very sweet of you to say that." She was still smiling at him when his phone rang, but he ignored it. "Sam with all that you have going on you better answer that, I don't mind."

He hesitated for just a second and them flipped the phone open. "Sam."

"Of course it's you, because you're the one I called."

"Jeff, your sense of timing is a little off, what's up?"

Jeff just ignored his terse comment and said, "It was just on TV. The story about you and Carson. About how you look just like him and of course to make the story even more interesting, about what that might mean for Carson being found guilty based on an eye witness and so on."

"How the hell is that possible? Hancock, Carson's lawyer sure as hell wouldn't say anything."

"That just leaves any of the prison guards, or even Carson himself. I'm a little surprised the news gave it that much attention, but then if it's a slow time for them, they have to do something to fill their half hour."

"Weird. Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter."

"Probably not, but I wanted to warn you just in case you are approached by somebody from one of the local channels or a South Bend Tribune reporter."