Sound Mind and Body

"Nice. What do you want?" Ben was walking towards the counter as he spoke, but felt Gray touch him tentatively on the arm.

"Oh, no. I'm buying. Take a seat, I'll be right back."

Ben watched as Grayling made his way to the rear of the coffee shop and then looked on a little puzzled as he turned and came back towards him.

"Um, I didn't realize how many different coffees they do. What would you like?"

"Just an ordinary coffee would be out of the question?"

"Oh yeah. You can have it hot, cold, frothy, not frothy, decaff, half caff, extra caff, in a cup, a mug, probably in a sandwich too. So, what's it to be?"

"Well," Ben picked up the menu he had just spotted on the table and began to read through it. "Hmmm, I see what you mean. You know, as it's a nice day, I think I'm gonna go for an iced coffee and a muffin, as your friend says they're so nice. Blueberry please."

Gray said nothing else but made his way to the lady waiting for him. Ben had ordered his preferred choices and so Gray changed his mind. It would look a bit pathetic if they were both having the exact same thing.

"Thanks." Ben raised his glass of iced coffee in a salute when it was delivered to their table. "So, you're on your summer break, how long have you got left?"

"Don't ask, three weeks. You know the six-week half terms never go as quickly as the six-week break. I have lesson plans all over the place, exercise books, experiments, in fact I need to get back and tidy a few things up later, or my cleaner is going to quit!"

"Science was never my subject, maths I liked, history too. I was a psychology student in uni but I dropped out when my dad died." Ben's eyes reflected his sadness for a moment but only a moment.

"I'm sorry. You could do OU you know."

"I did four years of the knowledge, never again will I give myself voluntary homework!"

Gray understood. He knew that becoming a London cab driver was extremely hard.

"That must have been taxing."

"Oh, please!" Ben groaned but inwardly he wondered at his new friend's turnaround in behaviour. The psychology course wasn't so far behind him that he didn't know there was a lot of denial going on. It wasn't any of his business though and so, for the time being, he would ignore it.

The conversation flowed, the two men getting to know each other surprisingly quickly. Ben had told stories of some of the people he'd had in his cab and Gray had laughed; he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree. Well, he could, but he wasn't going there, not now.

"So, why did you want to know how much holiday I have left?"

"Oh, because, do you like cricket?"

"Yeah, I do, I especially like cricket when we win, which is always a novelty."

"I just got two tickets for the fourth day of the final test. Wanna come?"

"You're kidding me." Gray looked on with wide eyes. "That sold out months ago, where did you get them?"

"I have my connections. I don't always work Harley Street. I was talking with a couple of commentators from Sky TV about a month ago, I took them, very early, to Heathrow, and they booked me to pick them up when they returned from their trip. Last week I drove them again and they offered me the tickets. I wasn't going to say no. They knew I like any sport that's going, well, almost any."

"I would really like to come, thanks." Gray drained the last of his coffee- mocha-whatever-it-was he'd chosen and then took the final mouthful of his cherry muffin. He would have to remember to mention he'd come here; the recommendation had certainly been accurate. "Not that the holidays make any difference, the fourth day is a Sunday, right."

"That's true." Ben nodded and, as Gray was already finished, drank the last of his own drink and stood up. "Your carriage awaits."

Gray stood up as well and nodded. "Thanks. You know I can walk from here and meet you Saturday for football like we arranged."

"Oh, I'm sure you can, but you know about me and walking."

There was no response, but Ben saw Gray smiling as he called out his thanks to the café owner and then the two of them headed towards the pavement and climbed back in the cab.

Gray invited Ben in when they got to his building and the taller cabbie was pleased to accept. Jim looked on in amazement as he saw the two of them enter together but said nothing.

"I'd offer you coffee but it seems a bit redundant now." Gray opened the door and let Ben precede him into the flat.

"It does. I won't stay long I just ..." Ben stopped talking, suddenly, for the first time feeling awkward.

"What?" Gray looked across at his new friend, aware that a barrier had come down between them. "Ben?"

"I'm sorry. I just, Gray, who was Simon? I don't want to know anything you don't want to tell me, but there is a reason for me asking."

Gray turned away, aware that he was, almost instantly, close to tears.

"It's ok. He was my boyfriend; he died four years ago. So, yeah, I'm gay, Gray the gay, I was called in college." His hackles had risen, it wasn't fair to take things out on Ben and he knew it, but somehow Gray had a feeling he would still be there when he'd finished his little tantrum. "I don't want to talk about him."

"I know, and I didn't ask you to, not really. It's just, I keep saying that don't I?" He saw Gray nod his head as he gathered himself. "Gray, I'm gay too. I'm not after you, I swear, but Saturday, when we play footie, well my friends will probably think we're an item. They're always trying to pair me off. I just wanted to warn you." The warmth was back in Ben's eyes now and Gray smiled.

"I don't think I'll ever be paired off again, but thanks for the warning. Would you rather I didn't come?"

"No, no, not at all, forewarned is forearmed, right?"

"Now you sound like my mother, get out of here, go earn some money. I'll see you Saturday." Gray cuffed his friend on the arm glad things were back to normal so quickly. "Oh, and here, my phone numbers, this is Britain, it could be snowing by the weekend."

Ben took the proffered piece of paper and pushed it into the pocket of his jeans. With a wave of his hand he turned and was gone, leaving Gray with swirling thoughts almost as confused as his own.

Ben pulled into the driveway of his house a little after ten that evening. He'd had a good day, busy, and he'd worked longer than planned. He wasn't working the following day; his cab was due for its annual inspection. Instead he would do housework in the morning and paperwork in the afternoon. Locking his cab and closing the garage door Ben made his way inside. He put Gray's telephone number by the phone in the hall and headed towards the kitchen.

The cup of tea and two slices of toast had been just enough to make him feel sleepy, but as he lay in bed Ben knew that he wouldn't be nodding off for a while. Gray's face floated before his eyes as he thought about his newest friend. He hadn't been lying when he said he wasn't after Grayling, but that didn't mean he wouldn't like to be. He had figured Simon was dead, or at least no longer in Gray's life, and that their parting hadn't been easy. What he hadn't expected was how telling Gray he wasn't chasing him had made him wonder what it would be like if he were.

For a moment Ben laid back, his bleached blond hair splaying out on the pillow as he roughly fingered it. The need that Gray had for a companion, if only a friendly one, was so palpable to everyone but the man himself Ben was sure he'd be mortified if he realized it. He was also sure that if anyone actually tried to do anything about it they would be left in his dust as he 'got the hell out of Dodge'. Damn it all, here alone in his own house he could admit to himself that the man was cute, slim, had a sexy butt and, with his glasses on, a studious but vulnerable air about him that Ben found very appealing.

His hands began to roam lower on his body. Ben slept naked and it wasn't long before his fingers found what they were looking for. Slowly at first he began to jerk himself off, the warmth and hardness of his dick increasing his fervour until, with a cry of his new friend's name, he came in an arc which splashed across his abdomen before pooling in the dips of his muscles as he began to catch his breath.

The remainder of Gray's holiday was taken up with preparation for the new school year. He made his two visits to Marcia Mulholland. Both times he was greeted outside by Ben who then took him to their now regular coffee shop where they chatted for about an hour before Gray was taken home and Ben returned to work. The football on the Saturday had been fun but a wake up call for Gray as to how out of condition he was. There had been a new gym opened near to his building the previous month and to his amazement he had signed on, also hiring a personal trainer for the first few weeks to help him ease gently back into keeping fit.

The day of his visit to Lords dawned sunny and clear. The weather forecasters all week had been casting doom and gloom about the chances of the entire five days being played without one or two breaks for rain but it looked as if they would be wrong, at least once.

Gray stood in front of his wardrobe and tried to decide what to wear. He had always prided himself on looking good, even after Simon had died he'd still made sure that he never looked anything other than his best. He chose a pair of dark grey chinos and a blue shirt. His hair needed cutting, it was almost to his shoulders now, but until he had to go back to school it would stay the way it was; he liked it longer. His goatee too was a little more defined than usual. It wasn't the two-day shadow he typically sported, more like four and he thought he liked that too.

Shrugging himself into his shirt he considered his reflection in the mirrored wardrobe door. He'd lost a lot of weight after Simon ... well, after four years ago, but he had to admit now that it didn't look bad on him. He had shocked his sister the night before when they'd linked up via webcam for the first time that summer. She had told him he looked great, she too loved his hair and beard. She had even asked if there was a new man in his life and he'd told her 'no' in no uncertain terms. She was the only person who would get away with asking that question and both of them knew it.

Now though Gray realized that, whatever he'd said, he did have another man in his life. Ben Marsh had only been around for a few weeks but he had made a difference to him, a huge difference and, for the first time in a long while, Gray was looking forward to his days. The time he spent with the older man was becoming increasingly important the more of it they shared.

He leant over the bed and grabbed Simon's picture. That was another thing that had changed. Since Ben had come into his life he'd felt able to put Simon's photo on the nightstand. It was now in a beautiful frame, black with a creamy marble effect through the ebony colour. The almost jet-black hair and eyes smiled at him, the white teeth, so apparent in the tanned face were bright and even. There had been no doubt about it Simon had been drop dead gorgeous, far more so than Gray would ever be. That was what made what had happened even harder to take. Gray shook his head, not today, today wasn't for old memories; it was for making new ones.

The bell rang in his hallway and Gray rushed over to it.

"Hello."

"Mr. Watson, Mr. Marsh is waiting in the lobby for you, Sir, should I sent him up?"

"Um, yeah, thanks." It couldn't have been anyone else; Gray didn't have visitors. He used to; when Simon had been there the bell rang all the time, now that didn't happen. Not even realizing he'd thought about his dead lover without tearing up Gray opened the door and listened for the ping of the lift. He poked his head out then and saw Ben walking towards him. He had dark blue jeans on and a white shirt. Plain, simple and stunning all at the same time.

"Hi." Ben smiled when he saw his friend's face and took in his appearance. Gray always went to his therapist wearing a suit and he played football in tracky bottoms and a baggy t-shirt. Now he was dressed for a day out he looked, in Ben's eyes, red hot. "Looking good, man."

"Thanks, you too. We don't scrub up half bad do we? Wanna a coffee before we go?"

"No thanks, I had one before I left home. You know, I was thinking on the way over, we never even mentioned what we're gonna eat. D'you want to grab something there?"

"I do not. And just because you didn't think of it doesn't mean I haven't. Will this do you?" Gray indicated behind him and Ben could see a wicker picnic basket set down on the kitchen counter. He walked over and opened the lid before gasping.

"Gray, this is ... wow, it looks great." There was a set of plates, glasses, cutlery, for two, as well as condiments, napkins and wipes. There was also containers with food in them, smoked salmon, pate, a bottle of white wine in its own cool wrapping, slices of brown bread and butter, thin crackers and some small pastries that appeared to have raspberries in them. There were also Florentines and a box of champagne truffles. "Did you make this?"

"Yeah, right. I had it delivered yesterday afternoon, courtesy of Fortnum and Mason. It's my contribution to the day. I've also got some bottles of water, it's supposed to be hot today and they'll charge a bomb for them at the ground. You can carry them." The six-pack of litre Evian bottles wasn't anywhere near as nice as the hamper and Ben grimaced as he picked them up. He was both flattered and embarrassed by the food Gray had bought but knew it wouldn't be appropriate to comment other than favourably and so he grinned.

"Well, what are we waiting for then? Let's go. You did say you would be driving right?"

"I did. As you drive all week it seemed like a bit of a busman's holiday if I didn't." They left the flat together and headed for the lift. Ben watched as Gray, who was carrying the hamper, hit the button with a G on it and then leant back against the wooden handrail and continued to observe. He knew Gray was an expert at hiding his true feelings but he was also sure there was a gradual change taking over Grayling. He seemed a little more open, definitely more relaxed than he had been and to his delight he appeared to enjoy his company almost as much as he himself enjoyed Gray's.

The large four-by-four surprised Ben although he didn't know why. Somehow he'd expected Gray to drive something a little more ordinary.

"Nice wheels." He looked approvingly around the shiny black monster.

"Thanks. It's the only thing of Simon's I kept. He loved it and I just couldn't bear to sell it on."

"The man had good taste." Ben didn't think he let his surprise show at how easily Simon's name had been mentioned, but he hurriedly climbed into the passenger seat just in case he had.

Soon they were driving through the early morning London streets on their way to Lords cricket ground. As they began looking for a parking space an hour later both men were glad they had left themselves plenty of time to get organized. As it was they had to walk for almost half an hour back towards the ground but the sun was still shining and neither man minded.

"You know there is a chance we could win this today, that would be cool." Gray's voice showed his enthusiasm. The two men had spent the previous afternoon at a pub by the Thames watching the test match, both of them revelling in the fact that they would be there the following day enjoying the action and the atmosphere first hand.

"They played well yesterday, what do they need, 256 to win?" Ben tried to remember the exact figures and received a nod in reply.

"Yeah, something like that." Gray had been trying to recall the exact same thing and almost laughed out loud. There had been a few occasions when their thoughts had either mirrored or followed on from each other. He was enjoying that but it scared him too.

Their seats amazed both men. The view was unhindered and had only two or three rows of spectators in front of them.

"Wow, you've got to get pally-pally with those guys again. The 2012 Olympics spring to mind." The two men put the cushions they'd hired at the gate on their seats and made themselves comfortable. The wicker basket fitted neatly between them and Gray was glad it wouldn't get in the way of the action that would be going on around them. Ben handed across half the Sunday Times he'd bought and they began to quietly concentrate on articles that caught their eye. It would be a few hours before any action began and both men were determined to enjoy the chance to relax in such hallowed surroundings as they read the paper.

The walk back to the car had been full of laughter and merriment. Whereas when they'd arrived the pavements had been almost empty now they were heaving, and everyone was in a good mood, talking with people they would probably never see again as if they'd been friends for life. Gray and Ben joined in with the others, their day had been very enjoyable so far and neither man wanted it to end.

The traffic was horrendous, people who had been happy and relaxed on foot turned into snarling monsters behind the wheel and it seemed everyone was going in the same direction as Gray.

"Take this turning on the right for about a quarter mile, I'll tell you where to go after that."

Gray just nodded. He had no idea where he was, Lords wasn't somewhere he'd ever visited before, and he'd just been following the crowd. No one else seemed to be taking this route though and so he speeded up a little. Three quarters of an hour later he was turning into a road he recognized and he realized it would only take about another thirty minutes and he'd be home.

"Hey, man, thanks. I'd have been stuck in that lot half the night." Gray pulled into his parking space and smiled.

"Cab driver, remember, knowledge comes in useful, in more ways than one."

Gray smacked his hand against his forehead in mock astonishment.

"Well, d'uh, why didn't I think of that? You're coming up, right? Have a beer maybe, and a coffee."

"I will, thanks." He leant over into the back of the car and grabbed the two water bottles left from the six they'd taken with them that morning. The hamper was on Gray's side of the vehicle and he took that. "The food was great, Gray, thanks."

"No problem. So, what d'you reckon, about an hour's play tomorrow? Shame about the light, thought we might see it through there for a while."

They talked about the match all the way up in the lift and down the hallway, Gray unlocked the door and they continued their discussion about the various players as they entered. He turned on the television, flicked it to the sports channel and then went to put the coffee on. As he did so he heard a shout.

"Hey, look, it's us!"

Grey turned around to see their cheering faces on the screen.

"Hit record on the blue remote. If we're on again I can send it to my mother; she's always saying I don't get out enough."

Ben laughed but did as he was asked. His mother said the same; perhaps he could grab a copy.

Gray came into the living area and put the cans down on the table. He sat on the sofa, not too close but there was a small enough distance between them for Ben to again notice the change in his friend since the first time they met. They commented on the cricket for a while and drank a couple of beers each. Gray felt himself relax a little more and he looked down at Ben as he went to draw the curtains and turn on the lights and couldn't help thinking how at home he seemed. His heart caught in his throat as Ben smiled up at him and when he sat back down again he swallowed all his fear and spoke.

"Stay with me, don't go home."

"Gray?" Ben turned to face him, concern written across his handsome features.

"Ben, please, I ... I don't want you to go. I don't know what I can do, but please, just for tonight, please."