All Comments on 'South Mountain Pack Ch. 07'

damians actions showed how well the pack has done with the next generation of protecting the females at all cost. i say good job young man.

I really enjoy this story, love the complexity of the characters, the bonding between families, and especially the way the young ones were looked out for by the older teens. Its interesting the power the women have over the men, and encouraging to see the spirit of togetherness. Can't wait to see what the new family of girls bring to this story. Keep the chapters coming....quicker !

Wanting more please. Loving this story. Keep up the great work.

I can't wait to see how the Miller girls shake things up.

the wait was well worth it. the scene with Anthony and the four Carlucis in the tent was hilarious and I was laughing as I read it while in my little office cube. once again, my office mates think I'm crazy. Alberto still cracks me up, but Damian is by far my fave.

It reminds me of Jaisen's stories cos it feels so real.I can even see their faces when I close my eyes!

I don't know how the author keeps up with all these families and names. I have to stop and think about who is in what family so I don't get too confused.

To Ariesgirl and everyone else interested. I have emailed 'cheat-sheets' to several people upon request. It lists all the Pack members listed to date, their position, children and their ages. There is also a list of Pack businesses and who owns them. If you would like one, please email me through the link under 'contact'. Thank you.

I have just started to read non human erotic stories for the first time and though I find this one adorable It seems to lack maturity. And just to clarify it's not because of the presence of so many minors or the lack of erotic scenes. I like adorable stories just never thought I'll find one here.

What I also like in this category is how everyone-readers- bond together and thats something I admire! I can only hope you wont bond together against me lol. I was just saying my opinion. Don't have an acount yet . Thank you I enjoyed reading your story.

Kate

I'm looking forward to see which boys fall for the new family of all girls.

I love this story and can't wait for the next chapter.

Here's what I know:

1. security in the pack is tight, you couldn't have made that clearer;

2. Males can never say no to their mates; they are whooped. And they are obsessed with scents.

3. All teenage girls giggle. They should go to the mall, talk about boys and fashion, then giggle some more to be normal.

4. Their brothers roll their eyes on them or they can't stand to be around them.

5. The South Mountain Pack is strong.

6. The kids are very real to me :)

Here's what I am looking for:

1. The conflict (apparently, the president will handle the situation in Todd's former pack; so what is the pack's or this story's conflict)

2. Differences between characters. You have lots and they still look and sound the same to me save for a few. I still can't remember whose brother or sister or parents they are OTL I hope that the Millers could be a bit different from Sophia or Maria. I know some fifteen year olds who could care less about fashion and boys and more interested in math, science or even painting, crafting...writing, cooking...

Reminder: Show and tell should be balanced. Ask yourself what is the purpose of a certain scene or conversation. Which should be highlighted. Maybe, you could ask for a beta reader to fix your execution or flow.

My encouragement: I still like your story. Keep writing.

Thank you for your feedback, this is what I want and look forward to, instead of somebody just saying my story sucks, but doesn't tell me why...Anyway....

Chapter 8 will answer a lot of your questions, but hopefully at the end of it, it will leave new questions unanswered. Understand that? As far as the Millers arriving, you have to remember that everything is new to them. They weren't allowed to leave their Pack grounds, weren't in school, so they know nothing about the world. Also, except for their family they have never seen females treated with respect or been catered to. So when these things happen in their new Pack, they don't understand since they only know of the harsher aspects of men.

Speaking of men, I like mine strong, forceful, slightly dominant but they should be willing to make an ass out of themselves in front of their friends to make me happy. I know I ask for a lot, but I figure since this is a fantasy based website, I can make my men that way. Alberto is one of my favorites, he's 6'5", 330 lbs and yet this petite girl who is 5'5" and 115 lbs brings him to his knees, but I pity anybody who messes with her. Anthony is the same way, he is the Alpha-heir and must be strong in front of everybody, but one look from Sophia and he dissolves.

I hope that Chapter 8 clears things up a little better for you, I think the "show and tell" balance for you will be a little more clear. It gives more backstory as to why they act the way they do and gives hints as to what is coming.

Not sure if that clears anything or raises more questions for you.

PBL

I thought it was only five years ago since Todd's pack was manipulated. The youngest are eight then and the oldest, twelve. Surely, they lived a normal life before that time. And yes, I am expecting that they are different with what they went through in those five years. But other than the trauma and how they respond to it, I believe they should have unique traits just like every other human. This is also what I look for in other characters. You can create any character you want, control how they look like or act. And make them real, so readers can recognize them.

I am looking forward to the next chapter. I know it is still the introduction, but the exposition should also introduce the conflict. I hope to have a glimpse of it in chapter eight.

I know I sound too demanding. But I do like the humour injected in the dialogues and the story itself. It's just that, it could be improved further.

I can't wait to see what happens when all these boys meet all the new girls!

Please add more soon i absolutly love this story....pleassss add more lol

With the exception of the kids getting hurt and learning about that horrible pack, this was mostly a fun chapter. It's great to see the older kids taking care of the younger ones. I hope that the President is able to round up all those awful wolves who are hurting those poor young women, and they are made to pay for what they've been doing. I am just dying to see what happens when the Miller's are introduced at the Full Moon Ceremony. I really want to know if any of the other boys are going to find their mates!!!

Great story. Keep writing.

Wow, this is a very different werewolf story and I love it so far! I am curious to see if any of the Miller girls are mates to the any of the other sons of Frank and Joe. This is very entertaining! Keep it up!

FYI, I know where Brownwood, Texas is. Use to have family reunions there hehe.

Great story, I'm enjoying each new piece you reveal. Now for the reveal of ten girls in one family should bring quite abit of excitement.

...help but smile at this story and the unfolding plot. The romance, the danger, even the little ones make this a tale something to be excited about. The relationship build ups are slow and I think mayhap(yes I use the word mayhap regularly) this is the way its intended when men intend to court females. Slow and steady wins the race. And I must admit that its not every day I read a shifter/werewolf story quite like this.

The number of characters, more so remembering them all is a bit of a challenge but I think all them just add to the story as whole; they must have some importance or they wouldn't be mentioned at all.

All in all, I think this chapter and the ones before have been written well enough for the reader- me specifically- to really take to the story.

I think I've typed quite enough for now, so I'll sign off saying that I will be awaiting the next chapter.

Thanks for the cheet sheet. Had to ask you a question as I'm looking at the names. They are groups, right? Took me a while to figure them out and had to ask my better half to help since the names sounded so familiar. I won't give away the secret, i'll let everybody figure it out for them selves.

STILL LOVING THIS STORY VERY MUCH. HAVE MOST OF THE FAMILIES NAME AND CHILDREN TO MEMORY. I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU MIXED THE TEAMS UP AS THE OLDER KIDS LEARNED FROM THE LITTLE ONE AND VICE-VERSA. I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN A GOOD STORY WITHOUT ALL THE SEX. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. WAITING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER.

TO KATE:

SINCE THIS IS YOUR FIRST NONHUMAN READ YOU SHOULD TRY JAZCULLEN, WHITESABRETOOTH, MAZURI, LILGIRLSIX, SULTRYCHOCOLATESISTA, KEMMYST, GOLDENIANGEL, DOCTORWOLF, BLACKDUCHESS, BONEAMS, SECRETME, ELIANNA, PANDARUS AND IREADTORELAX JUST TO NAME A FEW AUTHORS WITH SOME VERY GOOD STORIES. BUT YOU MUST READ THE STORIES IN ORDER FOR THEM TO MAKE SENSE. THEY ARE RATHER LONG IN LENGTH AND THEY WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO READ WHILE U WAIT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER.

how big is this pack it sound massive from the way you have made it out and can't wait for the next chapter to see if the outcome of todds former pack will holly's family be ok or...

I want to thank everyone for their comments. Also reminding everyone if they are having problems/questions with names, I will email a 'cheat-sheet' to you. Since I posted that, I have emailed about 50 of them out and am loving the responses as people are trying to figure out the names. Only some of the families have 'theme' names, but I'm not gonna tell you which ones!!!! Some of them are obvious, like the Carlucci's are obviously Italian.

absolutely love.

Oh no Lassie, has little Toni fallen down the well?

Sorry but I could not resist and if I was part of the pack it would have been something I said as soon as I knew everyone was safe.

I had to laugh at your comment, but wasn't it Timmy down the well? Maybe Toni is his long lost cousin...

I check every day to see if there is another chapter up and posted. I know its not the normal for the site but still really good. Can't wait to find out more love the main families and couples can't wait to see how the millers react

Just found this story and I am in love and addicted to it. It makes me laugh without going over the top to make me cringe. Please don't stop like so many other authors on this site. I look forward to many future chapters. Thank you.

Yes in the old Lassie show it was Timmy and he and Toni may be related, but if they keep falling down wells the future does not look bright for their family tree.

i would laugh my head off if the Carlucci's boy find mates with in the miller girls just so anthony and alberto can get their own back lol :)

I found these stories recently and fell in love! I can't wait to read more. This is a very unique take on werewolves and I really like it. Kinda wishin it would speed up a little though, as I would really like to know about them as adults!

Beyond awesome! I've been watching for the next chapter---when is it coming?

Great story makes you want to keep reading!!! Love the plot and characters.

Loving the series!!! Is the next chapter coming out soon?

Chapter 8 is finished and is at the editors. Hopefully within the next couple of days the final edit will be done and then it will posted. Am presently working on Chapter 9 and it is coming along nicely. Thanks to everyone who has commented and sent me feedback, I really do appreciate it. Also to those who have sent emails, I do answer all of them, so if you send me an email, leave an address so I can reply. Last thing, someone was nice enough to transfer the cheat sheet for Pack information to an excel spreadsheet, so you can add things as they happen. I love, love, love this and can't think him enough, I left him an email requesting permission to post his name, but he hasn't answered yet, as soon as he does I will let everyone know who it is.

have just re read this chapter and again and loved it cant wait to see what happens next :)

I love your characters, for some strange reason I got all teary when the kids got hurt, other than that, you make me smile. Thank you for sharing with us xx

There's a lot of insignificant detail,

My favorite bit of this entire chapter was the james bond refference to M and Q's love child busted out laughing to that one love it I really needed that laugh thanks

I like this story but it needs some work. First off all the men sound and act the same. Same goes for the women. All the men like football and play or have played it. They all are super Horny and do whatever there mates want. I dont think men or werewolves would completely chop there balls off like that and let there women walk all over them like that. All of the women and girls giggle and gossip and spend a lot of money. Sorry but the women and young ladies in my life dont just giggle, gossip and spend money. The last thing is whenever you write something remotely funny you remind us everybody nearby laughed. Not all people find things funny and laugh at it which just proves my earlier point that all men and all women are the same person and not individuals in your story. I dont have an account on this site because i dont want one. I feel that you have potential as a writer, which is why i wrote this long comment. Do what you will from it. Thank you for reading it.

I love this story i have laughed so much reading it i enjoy this story

I'm only commenting now but to be honest yes I have thoroughly enjoyed this story and all the funny parts. Though.... I have to say that I am getting quite bored of the story already it was really good but now.... my interest is wavering. However I am amazed at how beautifully you write and that is what makes me smile.

If you stop reading now, then it is definitely your loss. Every chapter has gotten better and better and chapter 8 explains why they act the way they do, plus we get to meet the new family and the action only ramps up from there. This is by far one of the best stories on Lit and it shows because her last chapter is rated in the top 5 in the hall of fame.

I'm loving getting to know the South Mountain Pack, but I'm unhappy with the Literotica sure. I somehow scored this 5 star story only 2 stars, and it won't let me out on my real vote!

too many names. at some point I didn't know who belonged to whom and who is who.

its already difficult with the main characters (Frank, Joe & Carlo's Family)...now you just added like 30-40 new names. too much

I love rereading these chapters just waiting for updates so much so that I recognise all the family names/members - best way to do it! lemonandp!

The story is good (and just got better in this chapter). I am just wondering - considering the general purpose of this site - how long till the main characters are over 18 and there some actual sex. I mean, so far 7 chapters for just a few weeks, and Sophia is just 15 yet.