Swing Open, Swing Closed

Finally, I told him that if he gave me one more chance, I could be the best wife he ever had, and this would never happen again. I knew the value of what we have now, and I'd never risk it again.

When Greg saw that I was done, there were tears in his eyes too. I really thought I had a shot, so I felt good.

"From the first moment I saw you, I loved you with all of my heart," Greg told me. "The reason I was always after you for sex was because you have always turned me on. I don't care if you got a little older or a little wider. You were my wife and the love of my life. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to see us get older and gray, and sit in rocking chairs together and see what comes," he said. I was nodding my head because that's what I wanted too.

"You were like the other half of me," he said. "Then you started lying to me and scheming and cheating on me. Now you tell me that it was just something weird that you went through. Like when I decided I wanted to see what it would look like if I put black rims on the Mustang. Only this didn't just waste some money and make my car look shitty. This fucked up our life and our kids lives. "

"I'm sorry," I said, tearfully.

"You started out by lying to me about wanting to have sex with other people," he said. "Then you drugged me and let some guys grope you in front of me. You let someone touch something that was supposed to be mine alone. Shit, I don't even let people drive my car let alone that. Then you walked out on me and our kids so you could go out and make a whore out of yourself with God knows how many men."

This was not going well. "But I didn't enjoy it," I said. "I did it for us. To spice up our marriage."

"Joyce, I don't even like spicy food, so why the hell would I want to spice up something that I already loved. You said it yourself, I wanted sex with you all the time. Does that seem like we needed more spice? You said you fucked all of those guys for us, but you didn't enjoy it. I also didn't enjoy it, so how was it done for us?"

"I...I...maybe you should have Wanda explain it," I said.

"I don't want to hear shit from Wanda," he snapped. "I warned you that in the end you'd be just like her."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Wanda spiced up her marriage, now she and Danny get along great. They both have sex with lots of people and it doesn't bother them. Maybe we're different. I don't want to have sex with anyone except you anymore. At least we've learned that we're the best thing for each other. You have to try things to learn sometimes."

"Joyce you are just like Wanda, you're divorced," he said. "Danny and Wanda got divorced 3 years ago, that's why they don't care if each other fucks other people. And for the record, maybe you don't want to ever have sex with other people anymore, but I don't want to ever have sex with you anymore. I'm too afraid of catching something. And you don't always have to try new things to learn. I know that I wouldn't like living with a slut, but I didn't have to try it to learn." He turned to go.

"No!" I screamed. "What do you mean Wanda is divorced. Who told you that?" I asked. "And you can't leave, this meeting isn't over."

"Danny told me, and so did Elise," he said. "And I promised you fifteen minutes, it's been a half hour. I promised you that I'd speak to you, and I did. I promised you that I'd ask you questions and I did. But to make you feel better how about one more question?"

I nodded my head hoping that whatever he wanted to know could swing the balance in my favor.

"You fucked all of those guys I saw on that video, at Wanda's house and at that club right?" he asked. I nodded my head slowly. "Were you drugged or forced to do it?"

I shook my head, sadly.

"Then you willingly broke your marriage vows, for whatever reason. So like this meeting, our marriage is over," he said. Then he got up and walked away.

I ignored my lawyer's words as he told me how we'd managed to walk away from this one with our heads held high.

Just as I got out of the building, I saw Greg's Mustang drive away. I spent a few days really depressed. My Mom and Dad took pity on me and took me in. During those first few months, I rarely took calls or left the house. Then I started going to visit the kids. Greg trusted my parents enough to let them bring the kids to visit me at their home.

My kids were fine. They looked at me oddly sometimes. I have to admit the visits just weren't something they looked forward to. They were children, they didn't understand that I was depressed. They just saw me as another adult who was no fun to be around. Their world revolved around being loved and having fun. Greg loved them, and apparently so did Elise. So I was like another crazy old aunt they were forced to spend time with. I later found out from my daughter that they only came because Elise took them out for Ice cream when they got back. That was when I tried to attack Elise and they got the restraining order. Imagine my surprise when Greg got between us to protect her.

I'd had a perfect life, and pissed it away. Or so I thought at first. Actually my life had been taken from me. After I started to recover from my depression I got a call. It was from Wanda. Her sister was getting married, and she wanted me to attend. She said that her biggest problem was off her back and I was partially responsible for solving it. I thought that something I'd said had helped her with her sister. I was wrong. I still thought that I had never met her sister.

Still weddings always made me feel better. There was something about watching two people in love start out their journey together that always made me cry happy tears.

When I got to the church, I saw a lot of my old friends. Some of them looked at me strangely.

When Greg walked out and stood next to the minister, I nearly had a heart attack. I ran out of the church. Wanda followed me. Wanda was my best friend. I knew in her mind that this was some kind of thing to help me move on in my life. Maybe she thought that seeing that Greg had moved on would make me realize that I had to as well.

I turned to her to get her to explain. She had the biggest fucking smile on her face. Why was she always smiling.

"Wanda," I said. "you're my best friend. Why did you want me to see this?"

Wanda was laughing her ass off.

"I'm not your best friend," she laughed. I can't fucking stand you. I never could. From the first time I ever spoke to you, I told you that I had a problem, didn't I. I never cared about your fucking problems, only mine." I was in shock.

"I told you from the beginning that my family wanted me to fix my baby sister, Elise, up with someone," she said. "I even told you that all of the guys I hang out with are players. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's as sweet as she can be, but she's not like me. She's not ambitious, she's not a slut. She only wants to be a wife and mother. She had an accident in high-school so she can't have any kids of her own." The lights were beginning to come on for me as Wanda spoke.

"So I needed to find the perfect guy for her," said Wanda. "And I did, I found the perfect guy for her, Greg. He's smart, he's handsome, he's faithful, he's loving and he already had kids. He also seemed to really love his wife no matter what she looked like. And truthfully, he's too good for you. Of course I needed to make sure he'd be faithful to her and he'd protect her. So I tested him. That first night was never about you, Honey. It was about Greg from the beginning. Even drugged, he wouldn't cheat on you. And he tried to kill two other men for touching you. He was the perfect man for my little sister. He only had one thing wrong with him," she looked at me and smiled.

"He needed to get rid of a hundred and forty pounds of ugly, useless fat, also known as, you," she said. "In order for my baby sister to be happy, you had to go. Getting rid of your fat ass was actually easy. You were already whining about being unhappy and bored. You wanted a more exciting life. That was what you asked for. I gave you what you wanted, so my sister could have what she wanted. It was a win/win situation," she laughed.

"I knew that I couldn't just say, "Hey dipshit, can you divorce your hubby so my baby sister can have him," so I used the whole swinging and open marriage thing to get you out of the picture," she said.

"The way I saw it your marriage was like a very strong door. You and Greg were on one side of it. And my sister was on the other side of it. I used swinging to swing your marriage into an open relationship. I swung it open. You stepped out, my sister stepped in. Then it swung closed. Get it? Anything that swings open, swings closed." I looked at her like I was seeing her for the first time.

"But it was stupid," I said. "It really wouldn't have worked. The whole time that I was swinging Greg never knew. He didn't even have sex with your stupid sister until after our divorce, so she can't be that hot. If he hadn't found out about what happened at the club, I'd have gotten him back. If your sister was that great, all of her scheming should have done more to work her way into his heart and make him forget me."

"Silly Rabbit," said Wanda. "Elise didn't know about any of this, she really is that sweet. She just fell in love with Greg naturally. She only knew that his wife had run off to have sex with other men, and left him and their kids. She fell for him from the first second she saw him, and your kids too. She never tried to seduce him, they just got together. She wasn't part of the plan. Nothing about them falling in love was planned or fake. It wouldn't have lasted. Now they'll be together for the rest of their lives and they have only your greed and stupidity to thank for it."

"And you're right, Greg didn't give up on you. For all of that time that you were whoring yourself out, he still loved you and hoped you'd come back. He fought his attraction to my sister for months. It took seeing your videos to free him from you. That's why I filmed them, and that's why I gave them to his lawyer. "

I was beyond shocked. All along I'd been sure she was on my side, but she had actually orchestrated the fall of my marriage. "You..." I said stupidly. Then words failed me.

She started laughing again. "See you around," she said. "I have a wedding to attend." I felt like 007 after the bad guy has told him about his nefarious plot to take over the world. Only Wanda had been smart enough to wait until after she won, to gloat. I was too badly outsmarted to even want revenge against her. She'd probably just win again anyway. I just wanted my life back.

As she walked back inside the church, something snapped inside my brain. That's how I got here. I've been obsessed with getting my life back ever since. I come here and watch the house every day. Hoping for signs that they're breaking up or unhappy. Unfortunately there are none. I hope against hope that someday Elise will get bored or become as complacent and stupid as I was. I'm pretty sure she won't, but it's my only shot. That and cancer or some other disease that ravages her and takes her out of the picture.

I know that they have that stupid restraining order that says I'm supposed to stay at least five hundred feet away from the house. I'm probably three hundred feet away as I look through my binoculars. Who'll know the difference. Fuck that restraining order. As I tried to focus the binoculars I felt them snatched from my hand. Another fucking cop was talking to me.

"Who me, officer? I thought I was five hundred feet away."

"No, you don't need the cuffs officer."

"Shit!"