All Comments on 'Talon Ch. 01'

So i read this story, and i must say i'm very curious to the next chapter. Looking forward to more about Talon and his new mate...

Why aren't you selling stories like this on Ellora's Cave or Amber Quill Press. Great story want to read more.

This is a very well written, literate, sensual work. I was readily drawn into the story and the characters, and I'm looking forward to more from this author.

Please, don't make us wait too long for the next part. And it would be great if you make the story a bit longer... two pages per chapter would keep us fully stimulated ;-)

you must have read some of Sherrilyn Kenyon novels,you have some of her names for characters,anyway great story maybe you will write great books like her someday!!

I love a good werewolf story and this has to be one of the best ones that I have read. I'm waiting for the next installment. Wolfmann

I guess my only question is how was she with the town playboy for a year (unless I read that wrong) and still be a virgin? How could she be with anyone for that long and not gotten any? I liked the start of your story, although I thought that there were some word mix-ups that, while not totally distracting, should have been caught by your editor.

I don't know if it was just me, but your first chapter seemed to move too fast. One moment they meet and then they have sex; I suppose that happens alot, especially for one night stands but Tina's a virgin. I like developed stories so its really nothing to hold against you.

While I agree that this chapter moved too quickly, my primary issue is the sheer number of technical errors. Misused homonyms, typos, and mistakes in punctuation were a constant distraction.

You have a good imagination with good storyline but I suspect you are a very stubborn person and almost to the point of arrogant too. I read your last chapter first before I read this chapter as I've just discover it. While a number of posters has already asked you to get help from an editor to iron out all your grammar errors and whatsnot you really didn't care, do you. You knew you had the audiences' attention because we were entranced with your story. Perhaps you thought that you already have the attention of so many audience so why bothered correcting your mistakes. Somehow, I could see your smug face smirking "I know I'm good. What is a few mistakes. These readers are all whiners and nitpickers. I refused to listen to their worthless advice to get an editor. They could jolly well read it the way I wrote it." Well, for that I won't award you with anything but a '0'

Loved it! You're amaaazzingggg:D

Wow.

But very rushed. Her past could have been worked into the story later and much better. The whole thing is far too rushed and a bit unbelievable... Don't hate me, just trying to give constructive criticism here. Enjoying the plot so far though. On to the next chapter.

This story may have potential, but it needs an editor!