The Case of the Family Jewels

Story Info
There's been a heist, but Harry Dick is on the case.
2.4k words
4.5
12.8k
1
Share this Story

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here

The tall, dark haired woman knocked on the door of the Harry Dick Detective Agency. After a moment of silence, she turned the doorknob, opened the door and stepped into the office.

"Hello? Mr. Dick?" she called.

"Just a minute," came a muffled voice from the back.

Harry Dick put down the TWAT magazine he had been reading and stood, pulled his pants up and flushed the toilet. He opened the bathroom door and stepped into the office. A tall, willowy dame stood in front of his desk.

"Yeah. I'm Harry Dick. What ya need, toots?"

"Oh, Mr. Dick," the woman said as she sat in the chair in front of Dick's desk, crossing her long legs seductively and smoothing her dress over her knees. "I'm in so much trouble. I need your help."

Harry looked the dame over closely. She had long, dark, curled hair that could have belonged to Gloria Swanson. Her dress was obviously from one of those high class stores like Sears & Roebuck. Those lips were so kissable they could have come right off that great Trojan condom poster down at Wiley's Drugstore on 39th Street. But her most noticeable feature was the pair of jiggling 38DD's that hid under here dress front. Yeah, this was one classy broad. By the looks she could have been a waitress at one of those expensive joints downtown or even a hairdresser. A guy with money could really go places with a bimbo like this one, Detroit or maybe even Cleveland.

"Ok. Ok. Let's start at the beginning," Harry said as he took his place behind his desk. He pulled a yellow legal pad out of his desk drawer. "Now, give it to me straight, baby."

The woman held a ruffled, pink hankie to the corner of her eye while Harry stared at her huge knockers. "Say, are those real?" he asked casually.

"What? What are you talking about, Mr. Dick?"

"Oh. Never mind. Just give me the facts starting at the beginning. What's your name?"

"Wanda. Wanda Suckumoff. I'm Russian, you know."

"Oh you're in a hurry? I under... Oh, you're from Russia. Ok... go on."

Wanda launched into her story. It seemed she had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd. It had been fun at first but when she discovered her friends had pulled a big jewel heist downtown where the night watchman had been killed she'd decided it was time to get out of Dodge (why Dodge when this was New York went unanswered). Unfortunately, her friends did not like the idea of having anyone walking around freely who knew the real score on the job.

"I see," said Dick as he leaned back in his chair. "So who are these guys? What are their names?"

"Well. The guy I was shacked up with was Vito... Vito Mazzaloni. And there was his brother Marko and another guy named Carlucci. I don't know his first name. They called him 'Edgar' or sometimes 'Canola Nuts'."

"Hmmm. Sounds like some Italian mob operation," Harry thought to himself.

"So, why don't you just blow town? What do you need me for?"

"Oh, I can't leave. I have to take care of my invalid parents. They'd just be lost without me," Wanda sniffed into her hankie.

"Damn, a dame with real heart here," thought Harry.

"Look. This is going to be dangerous so it ain't going to be cheap. Let's say, Twenty bucks a day plus expenses," Harry said levelly staring again at Wanda's mountainous kazongas. He thought he could see the outline of a nipple when Wanda breathed in. The cock in his pants gave a leap with each breath. He moved his hand do to rub his cock through the pants of his quality Robert Hall suit. Harry leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes as his imagination overtook him. Big luscious bazookas with rock hard nipples floated in his mind's eye as he rubbed harder. His cock ballooned in his pants.

"Umm. What are you doing, Mr. Dick?" Wanda asked wonderingly as she held out a handful of $20.00 bills. "That's all I have, Mr. Dick."

Harry's eyes popped open and her snapped upright in his chair. "Oh. Umm... Just thinking. Umm... Italians you say, huh?" Harry took the bills and stuffed them in his coat pocket.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were... um..."

"Naw. I was just putting my noggin to work on this case, baby," he said standing and trying to cover his hard-on with a file folder from his desk. "I'll get right on this. I'll call you tonight and I'll tell ya what I found out," he said as he escorted Wanda toward the exit.

"Oh thank you, Mr. Dick. You're a life saver," Wanda crooned as she was roughly shoved out into the hallway with the door slamming behind her.

Harry sat back at his desk and thought for a minute. Then he picked up the phone and dialed a number.

A voice answered on the other end of the line.

"Rocco. It's Harry Dick. Tell me. You know a couple of guys around the neighborhood named Mazzaloni? Yeah. Two brothers. And another guy named Carlucci?"

After a long pause, Harry said into the phone, "Yeah. That's him, Canola Nuts. You know these guys?" Harry listened for another minute. "Is that right? Where do they hang out?"

"Ok, Thanks. I owe ya one, Rocco," Harry mumbled hoping Rocco hadn't heard as he hung up the phone.

"So these guys hang out at the Blue Goose Bar & Girly Show, eh? I know that joint. It's a tough crowd in there," Harry thought as he reached into the bottom drawer of his desk to retrieve his snub nose 38 Special with the Nickel Plate finish and the class engraved dedication on the barrel that read, "For Louis on his 21st B.Day". For the 29th time that month Harry wondered who the hell Louis was. But he was in a hurry. He had things to do.

He grabbed his trench coat off the coat tree as he left the office and headed down stairs to the parking lot. Harry got into his 1924 Packard convertible and pulled his car out into traffic on 33rd Street heading uptown.

The Packard pulled up in front of the 39th Street Precinct, Harry got out and walked up the three steps to the door. Inside he spied Detective Bob Malone, also known to his closest friends as Bony Malone. Harry walked up to him and said, "Hey. How's trick Bony?"

"Fuck you, Dick."

"Gee, ain't ya glad to see me, Bony?"

"Don't call me Bony, you shit head."

"I thought we were friends, Bony?"

"Fuck off, ass wipe," Bony called over his shoulder as he went into his office as Harry followed close behind.

"Look, Bony. I got a real case and I need help. Okay?"

Bony sat behind his desk and shook his head. "What is it?"

"I got this client see? She got mixed up with the Mazzaloni brothers down at the Blue Goose. I just want them to leave her alone."

"Mazzaloni brothers? The client of yours wouldn't be a dame would she? You know, fun bags out her here? Brown hair. Lips like the Trojan Condom poster down at Wiley's? Ass to die for? That wouldn't be her would it?"

"Uh. Yeah. How do you know her? And, uh... what did you say her ass was like? I forgot to check that out."

"Get the hell out of my office."

"Now simmer down, Bony. You gotta help me here. What do you have on this jewel case?"

"Look, shit bag. Go crawl back in your sewer. This case is too big for you. That's all I can tell ya. Now get out."

Harry left the Precinct and sat in his car thinking. "Big case, huh? I should a got more money for this. I suppose I'm going to have to go down to the Blue Goose and take care of those guys myself."

Harry pulled the Packard out into traffic and headed farther uptown to the Blue Goose. Inside the saloon there was a long bar with mostly empty bar stools this early in the day. In the corner was a small stage with a brass pole. A naked woman was sitting on the edge of the stage reading.

He sidled up to the bar beckoned to the bartender, one Roger Head. Roger was well known to the police after serving 10 years for taking the rap on a gay gangbang charge some years before. As far as anyone knew, Roger had been clean since he got out of prison but it was known he regularly associated with underworld figures.

"Well, look who's here. The famous Harry Cock." The few patrons at the bar laughed at the joke.

"It ain't Cock. It's Dick, Head. And you know it," Harry intoned in his best tough-guy voice.

This time the patrons laughed louder and longer. One fell off his bar stool and rolled on the floor laughing. This added to the frivolity and soon all the patrons were holding their stomachs and pounding on the bar in laughter.

"And what do you want, Dick," Roger Head sneered.

"I'm looking for the Mazzaloni brothers and that gay fucker that hangs with them. You seen them around?"

"Naw. They don't come in here."

"I was told they do. Who's hanging out in the back room?"

"Nobody. Now just leave, Dick."

Harry Dick turned and headed towards the back room.

"Hey. You can't go in there," shouted Head.

Dick opened the door to the back room and stared down the barrel of a Thompson 45 caliber machine gun. "Whoa, guy. No need for guns. I'm just here to talk," squeaked Dick raising up to his full 5 foot 4 inches and trying to look tough.

"Yeah. Let da mook in, Canola Nuts. We'll have us a little sit down before we do his ass."

"Do his ass?" Dick thought. He didn't like the sound of that. Harry strode into the room and sat at a wooden table across from a fat, Italian-looking man.

"You must be Vito, right?"

"Yeah. Dats me. And who da fuck is yous?"

Harry handed his business card across the table saying, "Harry Dick. Private Eye."

Vito picked up the card and passed it over his shoulder to his brother, Marco who was standing in the darkened corner. "I can't read dis either, Vito." Then under his breath he moaned, "Fucking PS 97 wasn't shit for reading."

"So what you want wid me, Mr. Private Dick?" Vito asked with a sneer.

"I heard on the street there was a jewel heist and you might know something about it. Furthermore, there's a dame that seems like she's really afraid of you guys. Wanna tell me about it?"

"You mean that dame wid knockers out to here and lips like day came from dat condom poster down at Wiley's? Yeah. We know her. She got something of ours and we want it back." Then over his shoulder he said to the others in his gang., "Right boys?"

The one with the Thompson Harry took to be Canola Nuts piped up in a squeaky voice, "Yeah. Especially me. I can't wait to get my hands on dat bitch."

"Ok, so Wanda has the jewels. Is that what you're saying?"

Canola Nuts replied in his oddly squeaky voice, "Yeah. Dats right. She got da jewels. She ripped me off."

"Hmmm. Ok. And what if I can get the jewels back. You going to leave her alone?"

"Well. Dats a start," intoned Vito. "For da rest, we'll have to see."

Harry stood and said, "Ok. I'll see what I can do. I'll call you tomorrow morning and let you know." Harry left the Blue Goose thinking he hadn't had time to watch the girls in there. He shrugged and went to his Packard.

Back at the office, Harry dialed Wanda's number.

"Hello?"

"Wanda. Dick here. We need to talk."

"Ok, Mr. Dick. What do you want to talk about?"

"Jewels, baby. I'll get over there quick as I can. Be waiting with bells on."

Harry hung up the phone and pulled a bottle of Old Sweat Sock out of his bottom drawer. He removed the cap, took a long swig and leaned back in his chair.

"What's this broad up too?" he wondered. "She comes in here with this story about these guys but the cops and the Italian guys don't seem to wanna go along with her version."

Harry set the bottle down, went back to his car, and headed for Wanda's apartment.

"Yes. Come in," Wanda said as she opened the door to her apartment.

Wanda was wearing a pair of short shorts, a pull over and tennis shoes. In her hand she carried a tennis ratchet. "Hi, Mr. Dick," she said happily. "Did you get rid of those awful men?"

"They had quite a story," he said ogling Wanda's bazzooms. He sat on the couch. Wanda came around and stood in front of him then slowly dropped to her knees.

"Look," he said, "tell me about the jewels."

Wanda bent over to let her knockers almost fall out of her shirt as she reached over and unzipped Harry's fly.

"Oh we can talk about those later. Right now I have a better idea." Taking his cock, she began sucking madly. Harry's eyes rolled back in his head and he leaned back.

"OWWW! Mother Fucker! What the hell?" he screamed. Wanda had both his balls in her right hand and had her fingernails dug into his nut sack.

"Let go, Bitch!" Harry reached over to a lamp stand next to the couch, picked up the lamp and brought it down on Wanda's skull. The lamp exploded and Wanda fell unconscious on the floor.

"Son of a Bitch!," Harry howled clutching his bleeding nuts as he staggered to the bathroom where he wrapped his balls in a cold, wet washcloth.

Limping gingerly around the living room, Harry did a quick search of the place. He finished just as Wanda was coming around.

"Ok. What's the deal? Where'd you hide the jewels?"

Wanda reached for Harry's balls again only to be slapped. "Alright. They're on the mantel. What the fuck? I'm just a girl trying to get along."

Harry stood and walked to the fireplace. There was nothing on the mantel but a Mason jar. Harry picked it up and looked. "HOLY FUCK! BALLS!" Turning to Wanda, "You collected all these nuts from guys?"

"Oh yes. Those and more. I have a whole collection in the basement," she said with a proud smile.

Harry shook his head and picked up the phone to call Bony Malone.

"Bony, Dick here. You ain't going to believe this..."

Please rate this story
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
1 Comments
SweetWitchSweetWitchover 17 years ago

Jenny, I like your style. The language alone in this story made me laugh. Thanks.

SW

Share this Story

Similar Stories

The Magyar Ch. 01 Pleasure beyond human knowledge.in Sci-Fi & Fantasy
What The Fuck! A cursed Phalus, what could go wrong?in Erotic Horror
Goes Home with Two Guys A night out ends with a good time with two guys.in Group Sex
Bride of Blood Dracula has Mina Harker in his power.in Erotic Horror
"Girls" Night Things get sexual with a gay Theo and his best friend.in First Time
More Stories