All Comments on 'The Coven Ch. 01'

not a bad start.

but maybe you could explain the mechanics of your world more in detail so we readers understand it better, but overall it stays an interesting story you have started and i am waiting for the next chapter

Interesting background, and i'd like more.

Would have gone with wood nymphs.

your ability to design a world is intriguing, however you need an editor the broken english was entirely distracting and ruined the whole stories feel.

a good story is like a good road, smooth. yours was like a cobble road, work on it and you could be a great writer

Broken roads some times lead to the best of places. Sure a editor would help but for the grammar police to imply that it kills the story? Bla ignore them. Pigs belong stated out under a hornet's nest smeared in honey.

This is really fast paced. They meet and in less then a few hours, the night isn't even over, there are declarations of soul mates and no one is even questioning it. No one is even a little concerned. Liz just moves into Sam's room.

You may be missing out on some of the build up and character development.

While others seem to need build up (whatever works for them), I love the mysteries so far. I live to try to figure things out and see if I'm on track. Tidbits here and there....

As for editors, why are so many so worked up about them? Yes, it makes for a smoother read. But if someone doesn'thave the creative mind needed to make a few jumps, why be on an amateur site? It's like expecting Mario Lanza to show up at karaoke. Keep things as you want them and please, keep the story going. I'm on ch 2 and want to finish but it's after 4. But very soon....

Please, please do yourself a favor and find an EDITOR, get help!

It seems English is not your language, but when you are writing IN English you cannot forget the most simplest of words. It makes the story seem like it was written they way an uneducated person speaks and has the reader constantly going, "Huh?," and rereading. When a story makes someone stumble in their reading because of either typos or words left out it is very unpleasant. Take the constructive criticism and do it.

Have you ever noticed that negative comments are left by "anonymous" and not by their name? They are cowards. I am certainly enjoying this story and will continue to read. Please keep up the great story!

Pleasure Wave, you haven't posted in three years, so I assume you long ago moved on to other activities on the Internet. But, just in case you do hear my comment, here is my feedback - it echoes the helpful comments below. The story moves a bit too fast, you could easily double the amount of description and detail without making the story boring. And it's an INTERESTING story. Your imagination is really good and your characters are interesting... it's good and I like it. In short, you are an excellent storyteller and a below-average writer... but that's what practice is for. Remember, the STORY is the important thing. Writing is a science, any one can do it - but storytelling is an art, and it requires an artist's touch.

If you come back here and write more, I will read it. I think you have potential.