All Comments on 'The Game Ch. 05'

I have read every chapter of this ongoing story to date and I just have to tell you that I absolutely love the way you think. You are a genius, I say. I hope this story goes on and on..LoL Can't wait to read Chapter 6. Thanks for sharing them with all of us.

very different from your previous but it was good to see the characters are moving along really well. I cant wait for the number 6!

Good work girl xx

Just wanted to let you know that I like the 3D people you are creating in your story. I am a prolific reader and quite a few authors confess that thier characters often grow almost with out thier control. I stories are the best written(IMHO), maybe because it comes from deep inside and not from an intellectual exercise of blocking out chapters and sticking to an outline. Keep up the good work, I'm off to finish reading the story.

P.S. I am going to cut and paste the section of chapter 4 dealing with the mother daughter relationship for my wife and daughter, they may get some benefit from it because the dynamic you have written is so real and true.Thanks for the insights you shared. There is truth in fiction.

I've read every chapter so far with great interest. Excellent writing, character development, I love everything about it. Keep up the great work!

If you aren't yet a profesionally published author, you are seriously wasting your time, and talents, pursuing any other line of work!

This chapter, and it's inclusion in the story, elevates your prior chapters far beyond the realm of both erotica and amateur writing. What you have now constructed is literature in the grandest sense of the word.

Thank you for sharing it with us all.

Everyone is gushing about your story and I agree with them all. It's well written and enthralling. However there are a few little things that annoy me.

For instance you write “...conned both her mother and I into moving in with me...” which should be “...conned both her mother and me into moving in with me...” and again you write “...I was not sure how Rachel moving here would affect Ron and I...” instead of “...I was not sure how Rachel moving here would affect Ron and me...”

I have noticed the same mistake in earlier chapters. Obviously it did not put me off from reading on, and I look forward to reading later chapters.

You are a good writer. This is a high-quality and well-thought-out story. So far I've loved everything I have read, with one exception: The dream sequence in this chapter.

I read the foreword for this chapter, and how it mentions that this is a bit of a darker area in the story.

That slight and very vague warning did not at all prepare me for a rape scene. I'm sure you can appreciate that rape is a very touchy subject for many people, and to go from a 'self-discovery through sexual exploration' to 'self-discovery through rape' was a very large, unexpected, and disturbing turn in the story.

Now, this having been said, I will not flame you for writing about rape. It's a real subject and has its place in stories. I would, however, like to ask that you post a clear warning of a forthcoming rape scene in a chapter (even a dream sequence like this can have a profound emotional impact on the reader before they realize the character is dreaming. I myself am no less affected even after realizing it was a dream sequence).

I feel that though this scene was 'pivotal' in the character's development and her state of mind, I would have much preferred to skip over it and infer that a dream had bestowed some new sense of freedom upon her.

you really open up a door in to the mysteries of the female condition................