by HoneysLustfulDreams
OMG ! That was so what i was talking about now thats the hotness right there lol ! Thank you for the wonderful story its exactly what i discribled that i liked babydoll ...
But use of the present tense is only one problem; the other is a lack of dialogue until the very end. "How do you want/like [whatever]"; do this , do that, harder, softer, instructions to the partner, etc. would have made a good premise a great story -- if done right.
Take it from a man who loves eating pussy. This was a great story. When you can get a woman to respond like this it is just fantastic. I'd really like for this story to continue, and I look forward to the sequel, so keep writting.