The Prisoner of Glenda

On the ride over, I did not feel any special relief. After over 3 years of this charade I had acclimated myself to our situation. Waiting for Michael's response could be no more disturbing than waiting for Bradley's; and for him I had waited to do violence, fully prepared to take his life if necessary.

I got to their home a little after 9pm. Glenda opened the door and ushered me into the living room. I took the closest seat. Saying she was going to get Michael, she left. A few minutes later I heard them approaching.

Sounding annoyed, I heard Michael's voice first, "Babe, what's this about? Can't it wait till later, I was in the middle of reading a deposition."

"No darling it can't wait."

When he rounded the corner, he was startled to see me sitting there.

"Andrew, what's up? Are you the reason that Glenda is dragging me in here? It best is good. I'm up to my eyeballs in work."

As he said this Glenda was taking a seat on the couch and motioned him over. There was silence until he was seated.

"Darling I have to tell you something. Something I should have told you a long time ago."

I could see confusion on Michael's face as she concentrated on his wife. Nevertheless, he remained silent.

"I was raped." Glenda said, letting the last word hang. Even from my vantage point I could make out that her eyes were teary.

"What?", Michael said loudly shifting in his seat to position himself face to face with his wife before dragging her to him. "Raped? Are you OK? Is the baby...?"

"Michael this happened over 3 years ago. I was raped by Bradley", and then she broke down. He quickly moved to envelope her in his arms. His chin rested upon her head as she struggled to regain her composure. After a few seconds, he looked over at me. The expression I received made me uneasy. Michael was glaring at me.

"You knew?"

"Yes."

"Andrew found me after the....I made him promises not to tell you." she blurted out.

Michael was showing tremendous composure. Taking a quick scan of him a casual observer might have thought he merely lost a button. I knew to look at his jaw line where he the muscles were taunt.

Since the story was not mine to tell, I waited for Glenda to continue. Michael however, wanted specific answers.

"Three years? Renee was..."

"She's ours darling, I was pregnant before the ..."

This did not seem to calm him. He looked more agitated at the thought of questioning his own daughter's paternity. Yet, Michael's arms never left their position around her.

"Why?"

The one question I could not answer. I wanted to hear this myself. I knew my reasons, or thought I did, but why had Glenda embarked on this course? I never understood her needs and had long ago written it off to "victim's prerogative".

"Why?" he repeated as Glenda gathered her thoughts. Perhaps she would be unable to articulate her motives. I had been wrong as I heard her sigh before continuing.

"Think back. You had just graduated near the top of your class. The offers being made had validated all of our sacrifices. You had a wonderful career ahead. We were going to begin our family. We were was so happy...and excited. We were going to see our dreams come true one by one. Then it happened. "

"I was in shock; I could not believe he had done that to me. I thought we were friends. Then I thought maybe I did something to encourage him. Whatever the reason, you did not need this...this problem in your life. I would survive. I had to survive. If I told you, you would have gone after Bradley. You would have hurt him or he would have hurt you. Either way your career would be over before it got started. Everything we worked for, that we dreamed of, would have been taken away. I could not let that happen. I could handle it."

"I made Andrew promise not to tell you; in exchange for his silence, I allowed him to be my bodyguard. He even stayed here at the house on all your trips out of town."

Michael's face now had a look of complete horror. I do not think he ever realized how much Glenda loved him. Had she gotten past this? When had she grieved?

He was studying her face. "You were never going to tell me were you? he said.

She could not look him in the eyes after that question. He was right; the secret was never intended to be free.

"Well at least you've explained Andrew being here when I was gone", said Michael.

"You knew about that?" said Glenda, her face revealing the same surprise that I am sure mine conveyed. "How?"

"Bill Ravdin told me", he said, and then he looked over at me. I did not understand. "Bill Ravdin is our neighbor. He lives across the road. He is a nice old guy, but sort of a busy body. About a year ago, he came over to me while I was in the yard. He said he hated to tell me, but he suspected that Glenda was having an affair with the Black guy who visited me every month. He said he saw you come over every time I left town, and you were always carrying an overnight bag."

I felt I had to say something, "Michael, I would never..."

He cut me off before I got it out. "Andrew I know you. Your sense of honor is scary sometimes. You would never do that to me or to Glenda. More important...I also know my wife." he said as he tightened his embrace of her. "So I told Ravdin that I was aware of your visits and that I asked you to look out for my wife while I was away. I do not care if he bought it. I knew you would tell me eventually."

"You see," he continued, "I've trusted you two more than you've trusted me. I know you both were doing what you thought was in my best interest. But three years of hiding this from me....I have a lot of thinking to do - about how you came to this place in your thinking. Somehow Andrew I understand how you got here, but my wife and I need to talk about this privately."

I looked at Glenda when he said this. There was pain in her eyes as she studied her husband. She would never again question his loyalty or his love for her. She had hurt him nonetheless by being so obsessed with his protection.

"By the way", he continued, "What changed? Brad is dead. Why am I being told now?"

Glenda could not carry on this conversation any longer. Some things she did have difficulty handling. At the top of that very short list was Michael. I would provide the remaining information for him.

"The cost became too high", I said. "Bradley had five victims and was planning a sixth." I waited for Glenda to absorb this news. She was unaware of the contents of the letter. Now I could see wheels turning in her head. Had there been others after her? Who were they?

"Five?" she said her voice cracking.

"Yes. The others began while we were in school, during freshman year. I thought about that too. What if there was another victim after you and we could have prevented her rape? Don't go there."

I then pulled out the letter that Bradley had sent to me.

"This is the letter I received from Bradley. I have had it for about a week but just read it today. You both need to see it."

I passed it to Michael. He and Glenda read together. During some of the passages, Glenda would point to sections and Michael would nod. About 30 minutes later, they both looked up at me. Michael spoke first.

"When did you last talk with him?"

"A week ago Wednesday."

"What exactly did you talk about?" Glenda asked as she passed me the letter.

"We simply had a chat about his activities."

"A 'chat about his activities"? You are telling me he was dead later that night and all you had was a 'chat'? I find that hard to believe." countered Michael.

"It's all you need to know. If you are curious as to whether he mentioned anything of importance that is not in this letter, the answer to that question is no. As to what we talked about....that was private." I made sure my tone of voice told them I had said all I would on the matter. Their line if questioning was not designed to clear the air nor make them comfortable in the knowledge contained in Bradley's letter.

When I learned that Bradley had raped Gail his death became a foregone conclusion. However, that was too much information to give these two.

I had learned something about the nature of evil, something that the Nazi hunters learned after WWII. If a disturbed human being tries to make sense of their depraved acts there will be little insight, a third party will gain from their explanations.

I assume that Bradley did not understand why he chose to create such misery on those he claimed to like, or even love. He could state the facts: the times, the places, and the people. What Bradley could not tell us was his state of mind. He could not tell us his reasons. I had re-read that letter a dozen times and that unknown was something I had to learn to live with. My friends would reach that same conclusion.

I did find it curious though that he changed his pattern after Glenda. For almost 3 years, he abstained from further attacks. Then a few months ago, he began stalking his next woman. I may have interceded just in time. That provided me some measure of satisfaction...and of justification.

As I expected, Glenda would not let this go. There was one final question. I knew she was compelled to ask it.

"Andrew you promised not to hurt Bradley. Tell me you..."

"I did not kill him Glenda."

She nodded her head slowly in response to my answer. I could see that she was relieved in some sense that Bradley was solely responsible. I could also see that her concern was for me. I saw the same concern in Michael's eyes.

Getting up from my seat, I made my way to leave. Before I did, there was one more thing. "You know the funeral is tomorrow at 11? We are expected."

"We'll be there", said Glenda.

With that said, I made my way to the front door. Michael was close behind. As I turned to say goodbye he offered his hand. The grip was strong and quick. I noticed that he had tears in his eyes. The handshake and the look he gave me said all we needed to say.

As I left their driveway, I thought back to the night that Brad killed himself. They say you come into this life alone and you leave the same way. I never agreed with that sentiment. We all come into this life with one other person, most of the time it is the one person who will love us unconditionally. I always thought it was the greatest gift to leave this life the same way, with someone who loved you by your side.

Bradley William Thomas cut his wrists and bled to death. He did so in the comfort of his bath. He bled out unto his bathroom floor just as he had planned. I drained the tub and refreshed it once with hotter water per his instructions. The temperature might throw off an estimate of the time of death. The variance allowed me to walk in and out of his condo as casually as I had done in happier times.

No, I did not kill him. He cut his wrists himself. I was there to talk with him as he passed on as I had promised earlier that day in the park. We spoke of our childhood and of the triumphs of our lives. To Brad this was the only way to reclaim his honor. In the end, he was my friend once again...and I loved him.

Epilogue

A gentle breeze followed us as we exited the car and made our way towards the restaurant. Contrary to the forecast, we were experiencing a warm afternoon with blue skies. We could not have picked a more perfect day for a graduation, or for a celebration.

I noted that Gail and I were holding hands as walked through the parking lot. We always held hands in public. I was not complaining; it was our way of expressing an intimacy we shared over the last 15 years of marriage. Most of the time I did not give it a second thought. Today was different. Today, my daughter Lindsey Elizabeth Johnson, a member of the class of 2004, had graduated Summa Cum Laude from the University of Pennsylvania. In that, same graduating class was her cousin Aaron Lopez, captain of the baseball team. My emotions were closer to the surface today than usual. The small things became significant.

We were directed to a private dining room in the back. Several groups were scattered around the area talking. Some of the grandparents had already arrived. I spotted Michael and Glenda chatting with Rueben and Debbie. We immediately moved in their direction.

I hugged Debbie and then Rueben while Gail greeted Glenda. Once all the exchanges were made we settled into the previous conversation. Michael was looking across the room at his oldest child.

Renee was standing next to Aaron speaking with our sons Matthew and Jeffrey. Also in the crowd were Michael's other two daughters. All of them were too far away for us to hear the conversation, though from the look on their faces they were sharing a good laugh about something. What got our attention was that Renee and Aaron were holding hands.

"Have I missed something? Are Renee and Aaron a couple now?" I said.

Just then, my wife squeezed my hand capturing my focus. She then looked over at Glenda raising her eyes and shaking her head slowly. I caught the meaning. I was clueless. Glenda caught it too as did Debbie. The three of them started chuckling.

Michael turned to me and said, "They've been going out for almost a year, shortly after Renee turned 18. However, they promised me that they would not get married until she graduates. That way Aaron would have 3 years to build his career. "

"I don't think Renee will wait that long." Glenda added with giggle.

"They're that serious?" I said finally adjusting to the new situation.

"My darling husband I'll explain it all to you later", Gail, said as a way of changing the subject.

Just then from the corner of my eye I saw Lindsey come in with her date Peter and her baby sister, Amanda. The child adored Lindsey and the feeling was mutual. She begged me to allow her to ride with Lindsey and Peter to the restaurant. I barely had a chance to answer before Lindsey had scooped her up and they were off. Now she happily returned to her mother's side.

Amanda had just turned three. She was our "surprise" baby. After having two boys in rather quick succession, we waited another decade before adding Amanda to the family. I don't know why we waited. Amanda was a very precious addition.

Lindsey gave her mother and me big hug. I was smiling from ear to ear. I was SO proud of her.

"Hi Mr. Johnson, Mrs. Johnson" said Peter as he shook both my and Gail's hands.

Lindsey then led the other introductions of Peter. "And this is my Godfather and Uncle Captain Rueben Lopez and my aunt Debbie." Peter greeted them. "And this is my other Godfather, Judge Michael McCarthy and his wife Glenda".

Peter turned to Lindsey. "You have two godfather's?

"Yeah" she said with a big smile as she slipped her arm inside of his. "I'm blessed with two."