by latinafmm2
Real dialogue isn't that hard to do here, but apparently, it is. Confusing to readers when there are no quotation marks; readers do not know who is speaking, or to whom. Rather distracting. I could not finish past the second paragraph. My 4th grader knows how to use quotation marks during dialogue.
No dialog makes for a boring story. Maybe break it into more paragraphs, amp up the sex, and use "quotes" for dialog.