Too Clever by a Mile Ch. 04

She tried to get up, get closer, but it was too hard, "Don't you see. I'm not what I was. I'm not saying I'm good, but I'm not what I was. You talked about Ginger. She was dying. She had mousy brown hair, and wore glasses. You reminded me about that, and right then, that very night, I realized the one thing I really wanted to do was show up in her hospital room with dark brown hair and glasses."

Cathy started to cry...again, "I mean it. I wanted her to see me. I thought I could make a difference. OK she died, but I made a difference. I did Steve. I made a difference. I made her feel good, if it was only for a minute. I did something really good for a little girl. I did too. You saw it. I did. Another little boy or girl might die this week, maybe tomorrow; I want to make a difference for them too. For Ginger's sake, for her memory I'm entitled to that. If it's only cleaning the toilets at the hospice, I'm entitled. You're entitled to that. I never met your wife. I never knew Leah. Steve I know she would have been proud of me. She would have told you. Give Cathy a chance."

He listened with relief. She wouldn't leave him, but she didn't know Leah, that was for sure. He interrupted, "How am I entitled?"

Cathy felt like she was pleading for her life, and he was Judge Roy Bean, "You made me different. Look, my mom was treated real bad by my father. It was so bad I swore I'd get even with all men. I never dreamed there were any really good men, then I met you. Sure I came to steal from you. Maybe I did. Maybe I stole some of your goodness. Look let me out, just for Ginger. I won't try to run away. Look let me just help out around the hospice. Bring me back here every night and lock me back up. I don't care. No I do care. I want to be a good person. I want to be like you. I know you love me. I don't know how many times I've said I loved you. Well I do. Let me earn your love, if not that then at least your respect."

He was full of all kinds of conflicting emotions. He wanted to grab her and smother her in kisses. He wanted to kick himself in the ass. He wanted..., "What's wrong with me Cathy. Can you tell me that?"

She reached out and touched his knee, "I'll tell you what's wrong with you. You know what I've been doing the last couple of weeks when I wasn't shopping?"

This was interesting, "What were you doing?"

"I've been seeing another man. That's right. I've been going to that Methodist church you mentioned. I've been talking to the pastor. He wants us to start going to church. You know what else. I've been researching the Internet. I've been studying up on nursing courses. I fantasized about how I could be a nurse at the hospice, at our hospice. You could run the hospice, and I could help take care of the kids. Check my lap top if you don't believe me. I'll tell you what's wrong with you. You make everybody you meet want to be better. That's what's wrong with you. You happen to be one of those people who want to make the world a better place. And I want to marry you! I want to be your wife. I want to make babies with you." There she said it. Where the water came from she didn't know, but she broke into tears again.

He started to cry too. Then he smiled down at her, "You really are full of piss aren't you?"

She kept crying, "No I'm not. I meant every word."

He smiled broadly. Relief swept over him like a morning breeze in springtime. He started to laugh, "No I mean your blouse and your panties. You really are full of piss." He reached down and took her in his arms, "I believe maybe half of what you said, but I think half is enough to give you a chance, or maybe whatever you want. How about that?"

Her hands were locked up. Her legs were cramped and sore. All she could do was lean toward him. She pressed against him with all her might, "I'm sorry Steve. I'm so sorry. Let me make up for things. Let me show you how much I love you."

He didn't unlock her. He helped her to her feet, and half carried half walked her to the gazebo door. He pushed the door open, and picked her up like a baby. He gently kissed her. She kissed him back. As tired and as sore as she was she wanted him, she wanted him very much, but not in the way of sex. She just wanted to be near him.

He let her head fall back on his right arm. Her chained legs dangled over his left arm. He ran his fingers through her dark brown hair. He passed a soft kiss over her forehead. He whispered, "I'm not letting you loose. I'm taking you upstairs, and we're going to bed together. We're going to sleep together, sleep you hear me, no sex, no more crying, no more wondering, just sleep, and I'm not letting you loose. God she looked so tired, but so beautiful. Yeah he thought, 'pretty is as pretty does, and she sure is pretty'.

Steve carried Cathy upstairs to the bedroom. He was tired, and it was a long haul, but they made it. He had a lot of thinking to do. He realized everything he'd thought about Cathy had been wrong. Now it was time to figure out what his problem was. He still had a problem with what she'd done to two husbands. He somehow felt he and she had to make amends for that. He figured it was stupid, but he also figured it might be the right thing to do. Then there was Theresa and Glynnis. They had to be set straight, not in a punitive way, but in a loving way. Last, of course, there was the hospice, always the hospice.

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From the author:

This is only chapter four. I think I'll drop the succeeding chapters with more frequency. Vote if you like; a five every now and then would be most encouraging. Comments are always welcome. In fact if I got some comments.