Trish's Wedding Day

Like they're supposed to be one person out there who is perfect for you, one person who makes you happy beyond all others, someone you were always meant to be with.

Love isn't like that. Love is something that grows on you, something that two people in a relationship have to work on and slowly grow. Like me and Ron. And I love him. I do. I know I do. That's what I told him before. And I meant it. I just haven't told him for a while.

Something the minister says next awakes me from my thoughts.

"Now, it is traditional to say this after the 'I do's' however experience tells me to get this out of the way as soon as possible. So, that being said, if anyone has any reason why these two people should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

What does he mean 'experience tells me'. Why is he saying this now? Does he know something? Has Mickie told him something? Is Mickie about to make a big entrance? Is she about to ruin my big day after all?

My eyes desperately search everywhere to find the little brunette, but she is nowhere to be seen.

Time passes and the Minister begins talking again, going straight into the process of asking Ron if he wants to marry me.

I still wait with bated breath for her for a few more seconds before it suddenly hit me.

She isn't coming.

She really isn't coming.

And I'm.......... disappointed! Disappointed! Why the hell am I disappointed?

And then I suddenly hear the Minister start talking to me, "Do you Patricia Anne Stratigias," God I hate it when people use my real name, "Take this man Ron Fisico," I didn't even hear Ron give an answer to his vows, "To be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and cherish till death do you part?"

At that moment something amazing happened. The whole world seemed to come to a stop around me and I had a moment of complete and utter clarity. All the voices in my head were gone except for one, and it was asking me a simple question.

Do you want to marry Ron?

For the first time in what felt like forever I gave myself a truly honest answer.

No.

I had maybe loved Ron once, but that was a long time ago. We had been like strangers for years now, barely talking to each other for weeks and even months of the time. And whenever we did talk it was about the most insignificant things which couldn't give either of us any insight into the other. Or we would talk about her. Or more accurately I would talk about her, I just wouldn't allow myself to admit that I talked about her before, because I wasn't supposed too.

Speaking of her, while I was here in this moment of clarity I was able to ask myself another question.

Did you want her to burst through those doors right now declaring her love for you?

For better or for worse I gave myself an honest answer.

Yes.

Ok, everyone is now staring at me. I don't have much longer to enjoy this moment of clarity but I have to ask myself just one more question.

Are you in love with Mickie James?

Once again I gave myself an honest answer.

"I'm sorry." I said, barely above a whisper, "I can't."

There was a deafening silence followed by mumblings. I bent my head downwards, not being able to stand the idea of looking anyone in the eye right now.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?"

At first I thought Ron was talking to me, and for all I know maybe he was, but it was the minister who answered.

"There's a backroom just over there."

"Thank you." Ron said, grabbing my hand and practically dragging me off in the direction the minister must have been pointing at.

Normally I would object to being pulled around like this but I'm too emotionally drained to fight.

Once we reach the room Ron slams the door behind us.

"You can't! What do you mean you can't?"

He's angry, I can tell. I guess he kind of has the right to be.

Even so I don't want to be here and I don't want to be having this conversation.

Looking around for an escape I see there is a door behind me, but before I can even think about using it Ron stops me.

"Answer me bitch!"

I've heard Ron swear before but he's never swore at me before, he's always acted the perfect gentleman, and even though I'm doing a really horrible thing to him, leaving him at the altar, I can't help feel it still doesn't justify him swearing at me and calling me that.

"I can't marry you." I said firmly, hoping that would be enough for him but it obviously wasn't.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not in love with you."

"Because you're in love with someone else?"

"I didn't say that?"

"No but it's true isn't it." My silence gives him the answer he was looking for, "Don't tell me.......... it's that Mickie bitch isn't it? The moment I saw her I knew that little muff diver wanted you. Never thought you'd go all dyke though."

His words cause anger to shoot through me like never before in my life and before I even think about it I knocked him to the ground with a vicious right handed slap. I stared at him on the floor in disbelief of what I had just done and what just happened before I turned and ran.

I practically knocked the door off its hinges and continue to run as fast as anyone wearing high heels and a huge wedding dress possibly can.

"Run you stupid whore, run!" I heard Ron yell behind me, "And I hope you two dykes are happy together!"

Chancing a glance behind me I saw that Ron is standing at the exit, furious with rage. He looks like he might change his mind any minute and run after me so I better get out of here as fast as I can.

I had no idea there was this side to him. I guess I never really knew him. And to add another layer to this fucked up situation I now owe her for saving me from a possible abusive marriage. This day just keeps getting better and better.

To add to the day I'm having my friends and family are beginning to pour out of the church and I have no idea if they heard what Ron said or not, but I have a feeling if they didn't Ron would probably be happy to repeat it to them. Of coarse that can just end up being his word against mine but it just adds another crappy layer to this crappy day.

But I don't care about any of that right now.

All I care about is going to see her.

All I care about is her.

Reaching my limousine I consider jumping in and telling the driver to just go where I tell him too, but I don't like the idea because the limousine could be too easily followed and besides I have no idea if the driver is even in there right now. Plus I needed a driver who wouldn't ask any questions so I opted for a taxi. Luckily we were in the middle of the town so it wasn't that hard to get a taxi, although I was clearly getting some odd looks from people around me. The taxi driver also gave me an odd look, but did not ask any questions.

During the whole taxi ride I tried to ask myself questions again, but the moment of clarity was gone and the thousands of voices were back. I couldn't think clearly and I was practically on the verge of tears.

It was only when we reached our destination I realised I had no money to pay the taxi driver. I briefly considered making a run for it, but I didn't need more hassle today so I took off my engagement ring, handed it to him and quickly exited before he could say anything. In all fairness he could probably get a good deal on that ring, and end up with the full travel fair and a very respectable tip. As far as I was concerned he could have it. I never liked it. Hell I only wore it like three times or something. Once when Ron originally gave it to me, once when I was hanging out backstage and was bored, and today of course.

That didn't matter now though. Nothing mattered except getting to my destination.

People continue to give me weird looks as I ran through the place, completely ignoring the elevator which was busy and running straight up the stairs. It's a pity I wasn't being timed because I'm sure I break some kind of record.

Finally I reach her door and stop dead in my tracks.

Everything that I said and I did earlier comes rushing back to me and I feel so ashamed.

I feel like I'm going to cry but I hold it in a knock on the door. There's no answer and I knock on the door again, and then again, and then again, and then again, until finally she answers.

"Trish." She said, obviously surprised to see me.

We stand there for a long time, just staring at each other until I finally say something.

"Mickie." God that was pathetic. Come on woman, say something else dammit, "Can I come in?"

Mickie looks like she's considering slamming the door in my face, and I honestly wouldn't blame her if she did, but then to my tremendous relief steps back and opens the door wider to let me inside.

Walking in I can't help notice the shredded remains of the bridesmaid's dress and half a dozen empty mini bottles on the side of the bed. I don't really care about either right now but they do serve as a reminder of what I've done to her. God I hate myself so much right now.

"What do you want Trish?"

The sound of Mickie's voice awakes me from my thoughts however I struggle to find the words to answer.

After a long struggle the best I can come up with is, "A normal life."

She obviously doesn't like that answer, and to be honest neither do I.

"Or at least that's what I told myself I always wanted. After all the bra and panties matches, pudding matches, and the paddle on a pole matches I was finally going to retire to a normal life. And then you." I said, actually becoming quite angry, "You came along and ruined that. I could have been happy you know! I could have been happy with Ron and had a nice normal life. But then you had to come along and ruin my life by making me happy. I was lonely and bored out of my mind until you showed up and started brightening up my day, making me happy, making me feel things I absolutely could not feel. And it only got worse when we kissed. You started showing up in my dreams and thoughts and you've never left since. You've been haunting me! And then we started fucking, and that was great because I could just tell myself it was all physical, but I just wanted to feel something other than loneliness and my own fingers. And it worked. I managed to convince myself that was all it was. And I was happy. I was finally happy, happier then I've ever been in my life and you went and fucked that up by falling in love with me! Why did you have to do that? Don't you understand you ruined any chance I had of a normal life when you did that? I could have gone on not marrying Ron for years and then when I finally had to do so I could have my nice normal life with you in it. But no, you had to fall in love with me and start looking at me like that, like you actually cared about me, like you loved me, and I couldn't stand it.......... because.......... because.......... because I loved you too.........."

When the words finally left my lips it was like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. I had finally admitted the truth, not just to her, but to myself. I found I could no longer look her in the eye, choosing instead to hang my head in shame so I wouldn't have to look in her eyes anymore.

"Because I love you too.......... but that's just not how I imagined a normal life being.......... you know? So I realise I couldn't be with you and have a normal life. I tried. God knows I tried. But I could feel what you felt for me and it was agonising because it made me question what I felt, and I refuse to let myself believe the truth. I kept the truth hidden in the deepest part of my mind until it was almost too late. And I guess it still might be, but I have to try."

With all the courage I have left I look her in the eye again and finish what I came to say.

"I love you Mickie. I finally realised that now. I also realise I made a mistake. I chose a normal life over you because that's what I thought I really wanted, when nothing could be further from the truth. I don't want a normal life Mickie, I want you. I love you, and I know you love me too. I also know that after everything I've done to you.......... after using you.......... taking you for granted.......... I know I don't deserve your love.......... but if you give me the chance.......... I'll try and earn it.........."

I trail off, waiting for her to say something in response.

We stand there staring at each other for what feels like an eternity. It's like the silence in the church, only worse.

Finally Mickie lowered her head and said, "You.......... you hurt me.......... you know.........."

"I know.......... I'm sorry.........." I said, "Is there anything I can do to make it better?"

".......... There's one thing.........."

"Name it.......... name it and I'll do it.........."

".......... Ok.........." Mickie said, stepping towards me before looking me in the eye again and giving me this little smile which I think is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, "..........You could kiss me."

I returned the smile before grabbing her and pulling her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around me in return and our lips crashed together in a passionate kiss. We had some great kisses in the past but I think this one is going to be my all time favourite because it's not me just doing something scripted, it's not me just experimenting, it's not me just allowing her to please me, it's just me and her, truly together mind, body and soul for the first time. It was soft and hard, gentle and rough, passionate and needy all at the same time and I loved every moment of it.

Finally the need for oxygen forces us to reluctantly break apart. We remained holding each other tightly as we continue to gasp for breath.

In a voice barely above a whisper I hear, "I love you."

I don't think Mickie even meant to say that and it just came out which makes it even more endearing.

"I know," I said, cupping her face with my hand, "And I love you too." We smile at each other again as Mickie moves forward and we start kissing again.

Mickie's POV

I blink I don't know how many times I think the best way to describe the way in which I blink or the best thing I can compare my blinking to would be to say that was I blinking as though I had something in my eye and I was trying to get it out via blinking.

However the reason for me continually blinking or rather blinking so much isn't because I have something in my eye it is because I can't believe what I am seeing or rather who I am seeing standing in front of me and what they are wearing.

"Mickie."

Trish says sounding nervous for some reason.

"Can I come in?"

She then asks.

I continue to look or rather stare at Trish trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

I mean not too long ago Trish was standing right where she is now wearing casual clothes and she came into my hotel room which she paid for and told me well she basically ripped my heart out and she told me she didn't want me to go to the wedding due to her no longer wanting me there or inviting me to be there and with that she left and I thought that that was it.

That was the end of mine and her friendship.

That was the end of mine and her "fun"

That was the end of me and her period.

An yet now here she is wearing her wedding dress and looking absolutely drop dead gorgeous in it asking me if she can come into my hotel room again.

"Just what the hell is going on?"

I mentally ask myself having tried to figure everything out and yet having come up with nothing.

I suddenly remember after I had finished off the last bottle of alcohol I cried until I didn't have any tears left and then I fell asleep.

"So this must be a dream."

My brain says to me.

I swallow hard having a gut feeling I may know what type of dream it is and although part of me wants to try and wake up another part of me can't help but want to see where it goes.

An so I open the door wider to let Trish in.

Trish walks in and past me and once she is in the room I close the door and slowly turn around and watch her as she stands with her back to me a short distance in front of me.

I watch as she turns her head to the bed and see's the empty mini-bottles of booze that I have drunk.

"Wait a minute."

My brain says.

"If this was a dream. Would they really be there?"

My brain asks.

I think about this for a second before deciding that the reason they are there is because they where probably the last things I saw or rather looked at before I fell asleep.

"What do you want Trish?"

I ask her doing my best to sound like I did when she first entered my hotel room when I was awake and that is with no emotion in my voice.

"A normal life."

Trish says after a few minutes of silence.

This for some reason takes me by surprise due to me having thought that this dream was going to lead to me and Trish getting together physically or as Trish put it us having "fun"

However if that is how this dream is going to go her saying what she just did certainly is an odd way to lead to that.

"Or at least that's what I told myself I always wanted."

Trish says causing me to come out of my thoughts and focus my attention on her.

"After all the bra and panties matches pudding matches and the paddle on a pole matches I was finally going to retire to a normal life. An then you. You came along and ruined that."

Trish says her tone going from one of no emotion to one of anger.

"I could have been happy you know! I could have been happy with Ron and had a nice normal life. But then you had to come along and ruin my life by making me happy."

I frown slightly at what she has just said.

"I ruined her life by making her happy?"

My brain asks.

"I was lonely and bored out of my mind until you showed up and started brightening up my day making me happy making me feel things I absolutely could not feel."

Trish continues on.

"An it only got worse when we kissed."

She then says which completely surprises me.

"You started showing up in my dreams and thoughts and you've never left since."

I swallow hard after hearing this due to me now knowing for sure that this dream is defiantly heading in the direction of becoming an erotic one which part of me really doesn't want to go through and yet another part of me does.

In a weird way I feel like my brain is telling me that even though I can't have or be with Trish in real life that doesn't mean I can't be with her or have her in my dreams. "You've been haunting me!"

Trish snaps which again brings me out of my thoughts.

"An then we started fucking and that was great because I could just tell myself it was all physical but I just wanted to feel something other than loneliness and my own fingers. An it worked. I managed to convince myself that was all it was. An I was happy. I was finally happy happier then I've ever been in my life and you went and fucked that up by falling in love with me."

I do my best to stop myself from smiling at this point due to the fact that the real Trish said something along the same lines and made it seem like I had a choice in falling in love with her when I didn't just like nobody does.

You fall in love with who you fall in love with and I really believe that you have absolutely no control over that the only thing you have control over is what happens when you fall in love with somebody.

"Why did you have to do that?"

Trish asks me.

"Don't you understand you ruined any chance I had of a normal life when you did that? I could have gone on not marrying Ron for years and then when I finally had to do so I could have my nice normal life with you in it."

This causes me to frown due to me wondering how Trish could have had her nice normal life with me in it since according to her what we where doing wasn't "normal"