All Comments on 'Tropical Obsession'

Pathic slut needs to get divorced, sounds like husband will catch this crazy bitch soon, no pussy is good enough to put up with a cheating slut.

The wife doesn't love or respect the husband so how can this be a LW story?

There never has been and never will be a good erotic story from the 2nd point of view!

Damn near every paragragh started with "You..." You this and you that, I quit reading afte the third paragragh. I'm not sure what effect the author was going for...but it was a waste of time.

Thanks for your comments. This was my first story I've submitted. I will make sure to take your comments into consideration for the next one.

I now realize this was categorized incorrectly and will work on editing it.

I have to agree with a previous comment. The use of the word "You" constantly and to begin almost every single paragraph made me stop reading the story. Hopefully in the future you will try and tell the story instead of making every reader be the woman lol.

....DOES love hubby, oh lucky him. And this could have been pretty good literature with simply a transaction of many of the pronouns for longer, even run-on sentences. That said, you sure you want to do this?

I'm a more conservative type, but was admittedly looking for a story with a male "star" character like you chose.

So please forgive me if I qualify my praise a little here, ok?? :)

First off, thanks for writing, sharing, submitting!! :)

I liked the use of a sensual location to set the mood, and the (very) selfless husband that can only exist in these stories.. *lol*

I think it might have had a better flow, though, if the starring Native character had been introduced to us eventually by name though...reason being, then there is a sense of connection indicated to us, and that new level of intimacy would give me, as the reader, a more intense feeling of connection in their encounter - a sense of `NOW it`s REALLY happening`` - a theme I think you worked hard to get across.

Not to say I expected his life story, or even his back story...I enjoyed the fact you kept to one narrative track (except to note early on his notice of her)`; you didn`t needlessly complicate a fantasy subject with a bunch of weighty inner monologues that take themselves too seriously, which would make the characters insanely detatched from the physicality of sex - something humans almost never are - but it`s a common thing done in erotica that I personally really dislike, so thanks for sparing me and anyone else like me!! :) :)

I know, maybe I take things too seriously..

But I`d say just that issue of giving ``Him!`` a name and a few spelling/editing areas would have made a difference to me, to keep me in ``Reader`` mode and not let me jump, even once, into ``Èditing`` mode as so many people do online ;-)

Those are the things that knocked off a few little stars. But this is one reader's opinion.

As I said at first, I'm more conservative, so was hoping for a more sensual, less aggressive conclusion, more in line with the fantasies the female character had had about "the native"..but the thing is, she asked for rough and naughty, so, a story where someone gets what they ask for can't be faulted for that!!

Thanks again for sharing :)

I reallllly hope to see the diverse beauty and sensuality in this world reflected in the presence of more indigenous characters, (written up in the same ways - as fully-dimensional - as all the other characters in erotic stories are) maybe I`m biased..but it just kills me not to see any such presence...male especially..in the``Interracial`` category - or anywhere else ;-) !!!

Wonder how alone I am here...suspect I`m not....

Some these author’s will post anything to get their cuck story posted.