All Comments on 'True Love Between The Races Ch. 10'

"When the cops busted open the door they saw Alexis lying across his dead wife's body with a bullet in his head."

You still need an editor just as bad as you did in the first chapter. People have told you how to get help right here at Literotica. You have no character definition throughout the entire story. You get told, you keep writing. No wonder your stuff gets such low ratings. It is as if you DON'T LISTEN.

The best thing about this tripe is that at last, it is ended.

You have promise but need help - we want you to get better - your ending with consequence is appreciated as a touch of reality - your sex scenes are erotic but sometimes too lengthy - even I'm tired.

Patience and a good editor will help us better appreciate your work and learning curve.

Regards

I injoyed the story. I had to make allowances for the grammer but the story was very good snd some stories just don't have an happy ending for anyone do they.

Lee did what most me would have done and I liked the way he did it. He killed all of her lovers, who benefitted from ER problem. Killed her sister and killed her. He killed himself, because he didn't need to face the public to explained to the world what he had done. A man gotta do what a man gotta do.

Guns,blood & death don't turn me on. You wrote 10 chapters & finished your story by stating don't do what you wrote 10 chapters telling us about. This story was like beating yourself with a stick. Chapter 1 was as hot as anything on LITEROTICA. You should have stopped there.

First of all the whole erotic sex scenes were good i'll give you that. Second, this story was poorly written and constructed. You keep switching back and forth between writing in the third and first person. You are possibly the worst speller in the world. You used the wrong words in the wrong context throughout the entire story. The plot was not as developed as it could have been. There were large sections of the story that were obviously copied and pasted. Some areas just made no sense grammatically, logically, or chronologically. This was perhaps the most poorly written piece of erotica or literature period I have ever read in my life. It was also too long, I almost lost interest.

there 50% divorces in this country and that mean40% been killed for adultery listening to you..bad boy when you write and your home land comes out.there going to be white women marrying black men,you and me can't do nothing about it.so get ready a change is coming.

Loved it. It was fucking insane to the point where I just wanted to shoot myself in the head. Your chapters made no sense, it was beautiful. The bitch was crazy though.

You spent all that time constructing a story with such an anticlimatic ending. The story could have been much shorter and work on your grammatical errors and snentence construction.

The story was fine, the grammer was terible. I hope English is your second language. You used bear instead of bare; the word mine is a posessive pronoun which you used in place of the noun, mind; and you used the word sole (think shoes) in place of soul (internal spirit).

Switching persons is common for all amatuer writers, usually corrected with good editing. For all the problems, the story does have artistic merit. I thouht it was too much sex and not enough characer development.

My suggestion is: Take heed of the constructive criticism and keep writing. Ignore all others.

This story went in a direction I didn't expect. From the way the story started I thought it was going to be more about John and not really Alexis. It was an interesting read, it was very long and detailed and I think I would die if I had sex that much but I did like it.

I just love the message at the end of this story... I just thought the ending was pure quality... I must have a messed up sense of humour...

Be careful of what you allow yourself to come into your circle. This can and does happen all of the time! That's why it's best to stay with your mates=ONLY!

Your ending sucked he didn't love her any more fucked her sister and you had to go and do a dumb ending

The whole thing was just stupid as hell.

In spite of the poor grammar and poor spelling, True Love Between the Races is a good story- but not its ending. If Lee was going to get revenge on John and Alexa, he would have done it much sooner. To have known about this affair all along, and gone along with it for a time, only to change his mind completely and commit murder, is absurd.