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Click hereThinking about what he had seen before and that blob of cum he saw two weeks later Jon said in his mind, "God, no! Please not that." He felt almost like crying and at the same time he wanted to punch Steve's face in. Both feelings were foreign to him.
end of part two
End Notes: I don't think part 3 will take nearly as long but I will try very hard not to let circumstances interfere with me getting part 3 ready.
- COMMENTS
Anonymous3 months agoSteve was churning out those obvious textbook lines and overly-telegraphed moves like a professional creeper. Honestly any woman desperate and dumb enough to fall for that shit deserves all the fallout that comes their way. Pathetic really.
As for Brittany not being able to go a few weeks without a fuck that's just pitiful. I sometimes wonder why authors choose to write their characters in such a way that makes them come off as hormonal teenagers unable to control themselves in situations that are even just a little bit sexual. Like their IQ drops 50 points and they become sex-driven idiots. Very infuriating.
Anyway, I know these narratives are specifically crafted in a particular way, even if the characters and actions aren't that plausible, but still, it does make it tough to get engaged in the story when it just feels so ridiculous. It feels like Brittany, who saved herself for Jon and vows to be only for him, always seems to be getting into situations where she's struggling to remain faithful. It shouldn't be that fucking hard if you have any damn conviction. Just another run-of-the-mill weak-willed wife in a LW story. Very annoying.
He really needs to just divorce Brittany and move on. She can't remain faithful and seems to find it impossible to say no or push off a guy coming onto her. But of course Jon the cuck will stay with her.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoI waded through the first chapter, but on page 2 of the second chapter I had to quit. Way to wordy, spelling and grammatical errors, and too much dithering on the part of the heroine became too much. I just had to stop reading, jump the end and vote 1. Some of your other stories were enjoyable but this one should never have been written.
Chagrinedover 19 years agoTaboo,
Normally I like your stories. They are different ad offer a lot of really well written sex scenes. My chief objection to your writing is that I don't want to have to read every story as part of an intellectual excercise. :-)
you have set up about 3 different ways of going with this I feel and you are taking TOO BLOODY LONG (;-)) getting to the end!
Keep writing though!
Anonymousover 19 years agoNormally like a lot of your stories. Guess I've gotten old and cynical. Jon needs a good weapon, put Brittany and Steve to sleep together. Doubt I read chapter 3 either. World is full enough of these kind of people. Very satisfying to watch that crimson explosion thru the cross hairs.
Semper Fi
Nightowl22over 19 years agoJon better do something quickly or she's gonna be sucking a cock!!
Some think that fellatio isn't sex. I'd shoot the asshole quicker for that, I think, than if he fucked her.
