by KerrBear85
i really like this story. alot. I think it is really imaginative and different. i can't believe that ending though! that is a mean cliffhanger...you have to update soon. I am not sure why he'd do that. Is it to prove she can trust him? I can't see that convincing her to be with him. Hadn't she been through enough from the rape?
One thing that's a reality that i think you should add is her getting tested for STD's. I mean, you have her in this world so that is something she'd have to do. I think he needs to tell her if he has mated her, why he didn't tell her this and give her the chance to decide to be his mate. She isn't one of his kind, so she can't possibly have known. I am sure sleeping with him wasn't enough to make them mates. I'm also intrigued by what happened to his people and why. Why was a spell put on them and by whom? I hope you'll tell us more about that.
One editing note, with the parts quoting the character's words, if you change to the other speaker you start a new paragraph. It makes it much clearer too b/c you aren't trying to decide who is speaking.
The dialogue thing, that is because of the way it uploaded. I have to go back and put a space in between every single one of my paragraphs are I upload them because of formatting issues. Sometimes I miss one here and there.
As for the STD thing, meh. It's a fiction story. In the fiction world, I believe sex should be enjoyed without the fear of disease. But thank you for the advice. It certainly would be a concern in the real world.
You'd be surprised how strong and open-minded Kelly is. She loves Brooklyn and Brooklyn is no fool and knows this. Kelly has problems settling down with anything, but then no one has been strong enough to make her stay. Let's just leave it at that.
You should also watch the Gargoyles series to find out why the there are few gargoyles left and why they were cursed to stone. This is fan fiction off from that series. :)
Since this is fanfiction of sorts using characters from the gargoyles TV show, you should add "celebrities" as a tag. That seems to be the literotica custom. ;) You're off to a good start so far. :)
LOVE LOVE LOVED IT!!! I watched the show with my oldest daughter & would love it if you did more and found love for all the Gargoyles!!!
Please please don't tell me we are going to being hanging on to long. That was a wicked place to leave us. Looking forward to lots more.
A great story line,well written...BUT,,its been over 7 months since this chapter was posted,,is this another one that just leaves us hanging,,would be a shame for this to end up with so many other unfinished stories on here....